


Broken Trinity

by Arcial



Series: Broken Trinity [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Bad Puns, Burns, Dark Humor, Drama Llama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff and Angst, Jumping Right Into the Story, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reverse Harem?, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-26 14:46:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 54,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6243832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcial/pseuds/Arcial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The underground factions of the city were secretly working together and in the center of it all…<br/>was you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was a try.  
> Kudos, Comments, and Criticisms are loved <3

_"This just in, the band that calls themselves the 'Crimson Crusade' has struck again, this time in XX Avenue. A building owned by multi-millionaire Mr. XX burst into flames around 8:30 pm last night. Resources say--"_

**click**

_"Voting polls for the 'Great and Mighty Papyrus' have sky-rocketed once again! People say that he will indeed get his 8th term as governor, an unprecedented feat since--"_

**click**

_"Come by our stores anytime! Canary Commodities— where all your goods are just a flight away! Doot doo doot..."_

Sighing, you leave the T.V. alone and checked the time on your phone. It was almost 10pm but you still had work to do.

_"Rumors about an underground information dealer have caught the city officials' attention once more."_

You allowed a small grin to grow on your face as you put on a pair of heavy, steel-toed boots.

_"Rumors have it that the information dealer is, in fact, the true mastermind of the recent atrocities inflicting our wonderful city."_

You give a small huff and shook your head. "Pfft, yellow journalism at its finest right there. Oh, if you sillies only knew..." You were about to turn off the T.V. before a clean-shaven man entered the screen. James D. Hobbes. Donning a navy blue police uniform covered in medals, this head of police was a disgusting slob who was constantly interfering with your antics. Quite ironic that he was always on the information dealer's tail, bad mouthing about their money-spending ways while _he_ was getting into a limousine.

_"I cannot say if they are indeed the ring leader of the nefarious acts, but I **will** say that I will use everything in my power to catch this criminal."_

The man was trying so hard to look like justice incarnate, it was almost cute. Almost.

You finished the rest of your coffee and threw on a large, black trench coat. Turning back to the T.V., the egotistical maniac was finishing his little spiel.

_"...Yes indeed Debra. As a final parting gift, I would like to say one last thing."_ The camera zoomed into his ugly mug and he pointed to the viewers.

_**"I will catch you, Shadow Broker."** _

You shut off the T.V., throwing the remote on the couch and placed a black motorcycle helmet on.

"Try and catch me," you chuckled, your voice distorting through a filter.

You made sure everything was off and stepped out of your door into a completely dark room. Through muscle memory alone, you let your body navigate the darkness to a desk and chair in the middle of the room. Taking a deep breath and sitting down, you held a button embedded in the corner of the desk.

"Let them in."

Soon enough, a door in the far end of the room burst open. At first, a pair of glowing red eyes strode forward, followed by a smaller set of scarlet pupils. Afterwards, a single blue flame seemed to slide into the room before a pair of orange gems strutted in loudly. Finally, another match of blue flames about the same height as the previous gleamed brightly, albeit a lighter shade of blue than the other. And just like the cerulean counterparts, a darker set of orange pupils barely glowed through the darkness.

You waited for the array of colors to arc in front of you— reds to the left, regular shades to the middle, and the alternatives to the right. You snap your fingers, turning on the blinding light to reveal a room covered in computer screens, each displaying countless amounts of information.

However, you didn't care about those right now. You were concentrated in the groups of skeletons in front of you, whose eyes were now void of the light surrounding them, with the exception of pupils gleaming like a single star in the sky.

"Hello boys."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you guys want me to continue this story.  
> Also, bonus cookies to those who know where I got the Shadow Broker from.


	2. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys have a nice chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness! Such a reception from the opening!  
> Thank you very much for your time. You guys are the best ;D  
> Warning: Due to the obvious cast of characters, cursing is to be expected.

You took a moment to take in the sight in front of you.

To your left was a rather dashing tall skeleton with deep cracks on his left eye-hole. Suited with a black tuxedo, he released a menacing aura with each and every step he took. "Boss" was the leader of the notorious Crimson Crusade, constantly keeping in contact with you for obvious reasons. Though he didn't specialize in the explosive destructions depicted on T.V., Boss delved into torture, extortion, and pretty much everything dark that didn't require baseball bats embedded with rusted nails. Well, at least in public.

His younger brother, the little anxious meatball next to him, was the "Mad Dog" of the Crusade. Never walking around without his infamous spiked jacket, this guy was one of your... less _sane_ clients. Leave it to "Red" to mercilessly devour anything in his path. In fact, you were 99% sure that most detonations in the city were caused by this man alone.

You roll your eyes thinking about the property damage and loss of papers this guy has done. You certainly didn't forget the headache that came from them.

To your right was a hyper-active little blueberry muffin, smiling with a light blue vest and a pair of white slacks. "Blue" was quite the entrepreneur despite his child-like identity. Co-creator and CEO of Canary Commodities, Blue bought and maintained several chains of supermarkets throughout the entire country— all to cover up his black market dealings. Being the main supplier of goods in the market, he usually worked with you to secure less-than-legal merchandise or to remove a rival. Whenever he needed a specific item, his brother always had it covered.

Standing with a lit cigar and clearly too lazy to tuck in his polo shirt, "Orange" was the co-creator of the corporation. Truly the most laid back person you have ever met, this was the go-to man if you ever needed anything. You swore his ability to gather materials were on par with your ability to gather information. A really handy guy to ally with during these dark times.

You gotta say, you really liked both pairs of skeletons, but the ones in front of you were the most fun to work with.

Sporting a white tuxedo like it was made for him, Papyrus (or "Paps" as he would have you call him) was the most sweetest man you've _ever_ had the honor of working with. Still confused on how such a cinnamon roll ended up with dark dealings, he was actually quite proficient in hiding people and wiping their existence off the face of the planet. Unlike other "corrupted politicians", Paps was actually trying his hardest to repair the city— using your information to wipe out less-lawful competition.

Of course, as charming as he was, anyone going for office _and_ trying to renovate the city was bound to rally enemies.

And that's where the elder brother comes in.

With his trademark suit with rolled up sleeves and black vest, Sans was one of your favorite customers. Owning a rather established comedy club, he had always somehow made you smile, a rare occurrence of late. Never removing the grin on his face, he either made you respect him or be extremely weary. Always trading information with you, he usually hid in the shadow of his esteemed younger brother and only appears, as he would put it, "to kindly take out the trash".

You sit back a bit to take in the groups in front of you. The faction leaders were certainly similar and you thought they were related. In fact, you accidentally called Red "Sans" once during a meeting, and it ended up with fallen tables, broken chairs, and a burnt hole in the wall. You never really brought it up again.

You were startled out of your thoughts by someone clearing their non-existent throats.

"Apologies gentlemen," you waved your hands to the seats being brought in next to them. "Please, take a seat."

"Thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedules to come to the annual meeting. I would like a brief summary of your latest dealings. Who would like to go first?"

"Before that, can I address a small issue, Brokey?" squeaked someone to the right of you. Without waiting for your response, Blue jabbed a finger at the Crimson brothers. "Last night, you attacked a building owned by Mr. XX even though we _told_ you that we were going to empty out the lot first! We lost men because of you!"

"Ahh yes," hummed Boss while tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Well you see, we believed the little messenger you sent us was actually a spy so they are currently rotting in my dungeon as we speak. Besides, those weapons stored in the building were far more useful with _us_ than any _imbeciles_ you sold them to."

Blue sat up in his char and curled a fist. "There weren't just weapons in there, priceless antiques were there too! I have, well _had_ , customers lined up for them you...you jerk!"

"Hey, watch your mouth you damned blueberry," spat Red as he reclined further in his chair. "Wasn't our fucking fault your guys were so damn slow in moving shit. No wonder they died, they were probably as small and weak as you."

Slightly cringing from the insult, Blue sat back in the chair. This time however, Orange snuffed out his cigarette and eyed Red. "Dude, chill. All we want is some reimbursement for the things we lost."

"And what, pray tell, will happen if we give you nothing?" huffed Boss while staring straight into his orange counterpart's eyes.

"You get a complimentary set of flowers..." smiled Blue, before both of his eyes emitting teal-colored flames. "...With your choice of _ass kicking_."

Both crimson brothers rose up at the threat and activated their own scarlet magic, while the other pair stood, both in battle stances, ready for the opposing faction.

Paps, being the kind man he was, also got up from his chair but instead of calling out shots, he stood between the fighters. "COME NOW FRIENDS. IT'S NOT GOOD TO FIGHT ONE ANOTHER ESPECIALLY IF WE ONLY SEE EACH OTHER ONCE A YEAR! IN FACT, LET THE GREAT PAPYRUS TELL YOU ABOUT THE SPAGHETTI HE--"

"S _HUT UP PAPYRUS!_ "they all yelled in unison. An eerie silence rolled through the room as a sapphire blaze seemingly became brighter on a slouching skeleton's skull.

**"h e y ."**

"Enough!" you boomed, causing everyone to flinch. "Everyone sit down before I am forced to take extreme measures to make sure this meeting ends on a _peaceful_ note."

Low grumbles echoed the walls before every person(skeleton?) sat down.

"The total damage comes up to 9 million, Brokey. We can't afford to take a hit that big in this economy," sighed Blue. He was normally so happy, so it nipped at your conscience to see him so dejected.

You turned to your left. "Will you be able to pay that much?"

Boss shook his head. "Not in a short time, no. We had to cut back on spending when one of our main bases got compromised."

You nodded, hearing of this before. A certain Hobbes managed to capture one of their men, retrieve info about the safe house, and successfully wipe it out.

After a moment of thinking, you turn to your right. "How about this. You receive half of the 9 million, and get free info from me about a few locations worth double of what you lost," you then turned to your left. "While _you two_ owe me a favor I can cash in at any time I want."

The two groups thought about what you said while you waved Papyrus over to apologize for their actions. He merely gave his million dollar smile,"NO WORRIES, BROKER FRIEND! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS HAPPY TO HELP STOP THE DISPUTE BETWEEN OUR BRETHREN!"

You looked past him to his brother (who looked like he was getting eaten by the chair because he sat so far into it) who mouthed a quiet thanks, bringing a small smile to your covered face.

"Okay Brokey," said Blue, slowly returning to his upbeat attitude. "Throw in a favor we can call in from _you_ , and you've got yourself a deal."

Thinking about it for a second, you were pretty sure what you offered them was more than enough. Hell, your gut was telling you to not take up the proposition. However, you were tired, cranky, and frankly not in the mood to continue the fighting. Plus, you were pretty sure the coffee from earlier wore off already.

You nodded. "I presume neither Boss or Red have any arguments?"

Both of them stayed quiet which was more than enough for you. "Alright. Now that _that_ problem's out of the way, let us return to the reports of the city.

* * *

 

"This meeting is adjourned. May you all have a safe trip back to your homes." You stack the papers on your desk while you heard footsteps exiting the room. Even though you were several stories underground, you were pretty sure the sun was peering through the windows of the building you were in. You decided not to fight against your drooping eyelids and laid your head on the desk.

"—oker..."

You grumble a bit, annoyed about the voice penetrating the sweet darkness of your mind.

"—broker...ake up..."

You claw your desk for, what felt like, a stapler and threw it at the offender.

"Ow! Tch... Dammit Shadow Broker, GET TH' FUCK UP!"

Your head sprung up just in time to smash into whomever disturbed your slumber. Thankfully, you were wearing a helmet, or else you would be mimicking the squirming figure on the floor— whom you realized was actually Red. What was he still doing here?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the weird writing. This is pretty much my first time writing something like this.  
> Hope I can please you guys later on!
> 
> Also, yes indeed UTReader! That was a ME reference ;3


	3. Mustard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's take a quick peek inside the head of lil' ol' Red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send help, the plot bunny is attacking me.  
> Warning: Dark thoughts and trigger warnings of verbal abuse
> 
> I'm so sorry Red.  
> 

God, Red hated these meetings.

He hated the topics that were brought up.

He hated the way the other factions veered away from physical encounters. Come on, wasn't it faster to beat the living shit out of someone rather than listen to them yap?

And he hated everyone there.

...Well,  _almost_ everyone.

You were alright.

Despite the fact that he had no idea who you were, you were surprisingly okay in his book. You knew when to speak up, you knew when to slam down your fist, and you weren't out to kill him the moment you saw him.

At least when he didn't try and steal your chocolate goodies.

How could you blame him? You were the friggen Shadow Broker. You had the best chocolates on you, and things taste better when they're free.

Aw man, he could taste them right now. Rich and creamy... Smooth and firm...

He had no idea if you were human or monster, but he didn't care. He wondered what you tasted like. How much you would squirm under him. What your reaction would be if he--

He broke himself out of his stupor. He should stop thinking like this. Hell, he was pretty sure- from the look Boss was giving him- it was quite obvious what he was thinking of. Red berated himself, he wasn't worth the trouble to deal with, let alone befriend. He couldn't understand how you managed to keep your temper around him. He _himself_ hated him. 

He eyed you in his peripheral vision, watching you nod to something that wimp Papyrus was saying. Despite looking like the bulkiest golem he's ever seen, he can't help but imagine you as a smaller, cuter individual. 

...Cuter... And under him.

Red. Stop yourself.

He sighed and held his head in his hands. He needed to get someone fast before he destroyed something... **again**. Boss wasn't too happy last time.

"I presume neither Boss or Red have any arguments?"

Shit.

He wasn't listening. What happened?

He looked over to his brother who, astonishingly, looked extremely content. What the hell? He needed to make sure to ask him what happened just now.

* * *

 "This meeting is adjourned. May you all have a safe trip back to your homes." 

Red followed his speed-walking brother outside the room and to an elevator that led back to the surface. Just like always, Boss almost left him, smashing the button to the ground floor.

A few minutes passed before Red spoke up. "S-so, uh Boss. About that  _thing_ earlier."

He saw his brother slowly raise an eye-bone. "Which _thing_ , you useless fool. Be more specific."

Fidgeting, Red tried to think up something to make it sound like he paid attention during the meeting. "Y-you know... The aftermath of the thing with the stupid Canaries?"

Boss nodded and a rare smile creepily crept on his face. "Ah yes, the deal. With the Broker's intervention, we no longer have to pay the full cost. Now all we owe is a measly half and... _a favor_ ," he said, the smile increasing to a grin with the last word.

A favor.

Red was pretty sure his brother was saying something else but all he could see were the countless images plaguing his mind.

Oh shit.

At this rate, he was gonna die before the elevator reached the surface. He needed to see you. He needed to see you right now.

"I uh... I think I forgot something back there," he sputtered before teleporting to the room once more.

He looked up, expecting to see you gone; not with your head on the table— causing his non-existent blood to run cold. Thoughts began racing through his head.

You can't be dead. He just saw you a few minutes ago. You can't just go away, you're important to--

He caught himself when he saw your back rise and fall.

You were just sleeping.

Oh.

He laughed to himself before his thoughts caught up with him. Of course you can't die. You're _the_ Shadow Broker. You were important to.. to the city.

Walking up to you, he shook his head at how vulnerable you looked. His earlier flame of lust was getting doused by something he didn't know, but he was unusually okay with it.

"Hey Broker." He chuckled when you merely grumbled.

"Come on Broker, wake up." 

He was so focused on your breathing, he didn't notice a flying stapler until it smacked him in the face.

"OW!" He yelped, smashing the stapler on the ground. "Tch... Dammit Shadow Broker, GET TH' FUCK UP!"

Red was usually fine with pain. He's had torture training from his _brother_ for God's sakes. Hell, somewhere along his sick life, he even began to _like_ the pain.

The sickening crunch that resonated through his skull, however, he did not like.

He fell on the ground clenching his head, screaming every curse word in his urban dictionary. He didn't even notice you kneel down to his level.

You acted so sorry and so flustered, that he would've laughed if it didn't feel like a bomb blew up in his head.

"Gods, are you alright?" you asked, your voice sounding more robotic than that one robot on TV.

"Jesus Christ Broker," grunted Red. "Coulda gave me a _heads up_ first."

He froze.

Whenever something remotely related to humor came out of his mouth, his brother would punish him, saying jesting is for the weak. 

Didn't matter if the pun was was intentional or not.

He'd done it. You were sure to chew him out on his fuck up. He clenched his eyes, steeling himself for the loss of his friend... his _only_ friend.

"...Hrk!"

He looked up, your body shaking, head turned away from him. He couldn't believe it. "Are... you laughing?"

You stiffened and cleared your throat. Red completely forgot the pain in his head and sat up. He wanted to hear that sound again."Hey now, no need ta freeze up. I'm alright, snow joke."

That one was bad and he internally cringed, but he didn't care. You were shaking again. He was willing to beg for a certain funny-guy's joke book if he could hear you laugh.

"I'm glad ya decided to implement elevators down here. Don't trust them stairs because they're always up ta something."

"O-Oh my god, Red."

Almost there. He crawled up to you, mere inches away. He eyed a small piece of the shattered stapler and lifted it up. "Wondered why the stapler was getting bigger," he turned to grin to you. "Then it hit me."

You fell from your crouching position and gave a hearty laugh. A surge of warmth filled his bones. He wanted to rip off that helmet of yours and touch you, kiss you, _anything_. He stood up in a rush, accidentally buckling his knees, and landed right on top of you. "S-shit," he stuttered. "Sorry--"

Naturally, his phone just had to ring at that moment. He quickly got off you, and stared at his phone as if it just insulted his very existence. He accepted the call and placed the phone to the side of his cranium.

"YOU LOUSY. INSIGNIFICANT. BUFFOON! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!? HOW **DARE** YOU LEAVE WHILE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF TALKING!"

Of _course_ it was Boss.

It was _always_ Boss.

When was it _never_ Boss?

"Yeah yeah, 'kay Boss. Comin' up now." Red sighed inwardly and turned off the phone. He turned back to you and stretched out an arm. "Well, I guess that's my cue ta book it."

You gave your thanks as you used his hand as leverage to stand up. "Oh, hold on," you said, walking back to your desk. Meanwhile, he stared his bony hand, clenching and unclenching rapidly. Despite wearing such heavy clothing you were surprisingly light, but what interested him the most was how squishy your hand was. You certainly weren't a skeleton monster, but he wanted to hold it again. Suddenly, he had an epiphany.

He... He liked you....about as much as mustard. Huh.

You returned with, what looked like, an unopened chocolate bar. "Here. As a thank you for the laugh and the fact that you didn't ruin my desk for once."

He watched you return to your desk and then walked out of the room. While going up in an elevator, he spaced out while the bar of chocolate melted in his hand. 

He realized two things:

1\. He couldn't believe it, but he liked you _more_ than mustard.

2\. He was going to steal that blue fucker's joke book even if it killed him in the process.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fufufu.  
> I wonder how others feel about you, dear reader.
> 
> I also hope I wasn't hated on too much about this chapter. ^^;


	4. A Day Out - Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a fun event with Red, you decide to get some fresh air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse the slow chapter~

Content with your organization, you got up from your desk and stretched. The moment with Red was a pleasant distraction from the stress of today, but you were still tired so you went into your little "apartment". Slowly taking off your heavy clothing, you thought about the safety of your identity. It's been at least three years since you had to hop bases every week, and you rather liked where you were.

Sure the building you were in was _abandoned_ , but you made sure it was structurally stable. So what if it takes a couple of _minutes_ to get to the surface? You usually took that time to catch up on the endless files of information flowing in. Still, as much as you loved being an evil monarch in your gloomy castle, you were still human.

That meant you had to eat.

You pet your caffeine-filled stomach and walked to your kitchen before seeing a tree-like figure dig through your fridge. The figure, hearing your footsteps, spun around with a wide smile and a plate at hand.

“Welcome back, Ma'am!”

Dear, sweet Elona. When you first found her, she was (quite literally) rotting in a dark, dusty corner of a nearby park. Taking pity on the girl, you took her under your wing. Now, she happily followed you everywhere, blossoming cute little Jasmine flowers on her mahogany-colored head.

“Here you go, Ma'am! I made this just now!” she giggled.

You looked down at the plate to see some kind of silver lump with a droopy happy face in which you thought was drawn with ketchup. Looking back up, you saw her eyes gleaming with expectation. Steeling yourself, you grab a nearby fork and took a small bite of the goop.

Oh dear God.

“How was it?”

Ignoring the metallic residue in your mouth, you pulled all your strength to give the biggest smile you've ever had.

“You've gotten better. This was absolutely _amazing,_ ” your smile becoming slightly genuine when you saw her hop in glee. You took the plate from her and set it aside on a table, getting a curious look from her. “I have some duties to attend to above ground. Let's go eat somewhere before hand.”

Elona looked at the plate you pushed aside, downheartedly. “Cover that and place it in the fridge,” you reassured her. “I would like to snack on that when we get back.”

Leaving her happily humming, you went to change your attire into something semi-formal.

You never really liked the reports your firms gave you. Business owners have a habit of fudging numbers, so the best way to check is to drop in uninvited. You grab a folder filled with files, and called the driver to your car to tell him that he didn't need to drive you around today. “Are you ready, Elona?”

She came into the room and smiled. “I made sure everything was locked up tight and turned on all the defenses.” You were really happy when you found out that even though she was mediocre in cooking _and_ made your white clothing pink during laundry day, she was positively prodigious when it came to technology.

You nodded a “good job” and both of you stepped into an elevator within your room.

* * *

After a peaceful breakfast, you let Elona drive you to your first destination. You decided that it was best to read up on your “victim's” file. Spring Aromatics Incorporated. Current President: Joseph Holler. You noticed a little note at the bottom.

“Seems like our friend has two strikes on his profile.”

You were generally a lenient proprietor, but what you didn't tolerate were neglectful liars. Mr. Holler decided to splurge a little on his company funds while he overworked his people, blaming the drop in money on the economy... twice. You much preferred his vice president whose name escaped you at that moment. If Holler didn't screw up, you were ready to forge some incriminating evidence to remove his sorry ass off his high chair.

“Ma'am, we're here.”

You looked outside your window to see a sky-high building towering over you. Being one of the major importers of spices and other international seasonings, you were pleased to know that you got a cut of the profit. Still, you swore the building grew a couple of stories higher since your last visit.

Elona followed you through a double-doored entrance, and to the front office where a pretty little receptionist was reading a fashion magazine. Noticing your entrance, she checked her make-up on the computer in  front of her then gave you a smile. “Welcome to Spring Aromatics. How may I assist you?”

“Hello,” you glanced at her name tag. “Sophia. I'm here with my associate for a meeting with Mr. Holler?”

You noticed a flash of a sneer when she looked at Elona, and a condescending look in her eyes when she stared at your clothes.

“Do you have an appointment scheduled?” You shook your head. “Then I'm afraid you will need to schedule an appointment online and come back— ”

“Tell him 'Leliana' has come to visit.”

She gave you an odd look before regaining her customer-friendly smile. “I'm sorry, however, Mr. Holler is currently busy right now. Please come later—”

You stopped her with a chilling smile. “Sophia, please don't make me repeat myself. Call Joseph Holler and tell him a Leliana has come to visit.”

Thankfully, she did so before you had to start threatening her. As an added bonus, you reveled in how her face went from being extremely annoyed to fearful while on the phone.

“He will be with you momentarily,” she said, avoiding your gaze. “Can I help get you anything? Water for you and your colleague maybe?”

You turned to Elona who shook her head.

“No thank you Sophia,” you nodded. “Have a pleasant day.”

You and your companion sat down on a big love-seat by a wall, both with a deep appreciation at how soft the chair was. Despite being a complete a-hole, Holler certainly knew how to pick sofas. You felt your eyes slowly droop from their opened state.

“Goodness me! You were really cool miss!”

Your eyes snapped open when you heard that familiar voice. You felt a bounce on the love-seat. You turn to your right, where Elona sat, and saw her eyes pointing directly to your left.

A _very_   familiar hyper skeleton was looking at you with stars in his eyes, while a taller, laid-back skeleton eyed _you_ with suspicion.

“Miss, are you alright?”

You blink out of your daze to see the smaller skeleton placing a bony hand on your forehead. Meanwhile, Elona was frozen stiff and the taller skeleton had stuck out an arm as if to stop him. From an outsider's prospective, it would have been comical.

For you, it was frightening.

Why was he here? Did he have business at this establishment? Maybe because the company was famous for their spices? Oh no. Did he find out about you? You backtracked your steps since the meeting. You couldn't have let a trail behind for someone to follow. You were also 100% certain you weren't bugged, Elona made sure of that.

“Miiiisss! You're spacing out again!”

You flinched and gave a small smile, remembering that he gave a speech on TV last week. “Sorry about that. I just thought you looked familiar. Weren't you on TV a couple of days ago?”

The tiny skeleton regained the stars in his eyes with full force. “Yes, I was! I'm happy to know the Magnificent Blue has caught your attention! Have you heard of the Canary corporations?”

You nod. “Actually, most of my groceries come from Canary Commodities.”

His smile (somehow) seemed to grow even brighter. “I'm so happy to have met one of my valuable customers!” Realizing that you had an eyebrow raised, he patted his vest until he pulled out a card and gave it to you.

 

_Blue Esqueleto_

_CEO of Canary Corporations_

_(xxx) 867-5309_

_bluebird@cancorps.com_

_www.cancorps.com_

 

You never really thought about his last name. How very original.

You raised your hand to your mouth to mimic shock. “Oh my,” you smiled. “Well, _Mr. Esqueleto_ , I am very pleased to say that I love your stores and that I am honored to have met you.”

You looked up to his face to see the stars gone and thus, immediately felt bad. You weren't really lying. You were very happy to have met someone as sweet as Blue.

Before you could apologize, he gave you a bone-crushing hug. “Oh human! Just call me Blue! Thank you so much! You don't know how much that means to me!”

You laughed, pulling away from him.

“Ms. Leliana, Mr. Holler is ready to see you now.”

You nod a goodbye to the brothers and followed Sophia down a hall.

* * *

 Blue's eyes followed you until you took a right at a corner.

**“I don't like her.”**

He turned to his uncharacteristically aggressive brother who was glaring a hole in the wall that separated you from them.

“Well,  _I_   do! She's a nice girl!”

His brother squinted at him. “The human's hiding something, bro.”

He laughed at this. “When are we _not_ hiding something?”

Though it was pretty clear you were keeping a secret, he liked you. The light from your soul stayed bright and truthful when you said you liked his company— both figuratively and literally.

He saw his brother check his watch. “We still got time before our next stop. You wanna catch a bite, bro?”

“Nope! I'm going to wait for her out here,” he replied, raising a cellphone in his hand. “Besides, I'm pretty sure she'd want _this_ back. Mwehehe...”

Orange sat down on the seat and chuckled. “And you said that _I_   had sticky fingers.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has come to my attention that I have midterms for the rest of the week.  
> That means I won't be able to update the story 'til sometime next week.  
> Sorry guys! I'll see you soon ;D


	5. A Day Out - Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You just finished the meeting with Holler and it went pretty well. 
> 
> Warning: Creeper/Stalker tendencies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *kicks down a metaphorical door*  
> HONEY! I'M HOME!
> 
> Midterms stressed me out but I'm finally finished this week so I decided to write a chapter for fun.  
> I currently have a fever, so please, excuse the lazy writing.  
> Thank you for waiting!

Orange was proud to say that nothing short of hurting his brother would bother him.

However, something about you just rubbed him the wrong way. It didn't help that you were _clearly_ hiding something. But of course, leave it to Blue to run up to you the moment both of them saw you put down that rude receptionist.

He spaced out on the love-seat while his brother tried unlocking your phone. "You need some help there bro?"

He watched the smaller skeleton lay down on the long seat and place the phone on his blue chest. "Maybe in 15 minutes," he sighed. "I locked myself out again."

Chuckling, Orange dug through his pocket and took out a tiny screwdriver. "Let me take a look at it."

He pulled the phone off his younger brother and began to fiddle with the back of it. A few seconds later, he gave a proud huff and turned on the screen.

"Don't tell me you managed to unlock it," said his brother, exasperated. "I've been at it for nearly an hour! How'd you do it!?"

The taller skeleton grinned.

"Well, what can I say?"

"Brother..."

"It was all—"

"Brother **don't**."

"—In the _flick_ of the wrist!" he pronounced while swiping to your home screen. He threw the device back to Blue, laughing at his groan.

"Normally I would be lecturing you on how every time you say a pun, we lose a customer," drawled Blue as he glared at his brother. "  _However_ , there are more important things at hand! Mwehehe..."

Orange laid down on his brother's lap, kicked his feet up on an armrest, and closed his eyes. He didn't really care for you or your electronics, but he liked seeing his brother happy. He fell into a sleepy daze, listening to the shorter skeleton invade the privacy of your phone.

"Ooh, I like her background."

"Oh neat! She has really great taste in music!"

"She doesn't have any pictures. Weird."

". . . What the?"

He lazily opened an eye socket to see why the little one went quiet. He sat up when he noticed the stars in his eyes were gone. "Bro?"

Before he could ask what was on your phone, Blue hid it in his pocket. He was about to take the phone for himself— until he saw you walking back.

* * *

You were so engrossed in your conversation with Elona, you didn't see the brothers until it was too late.

"O-oh! Hello again. What are you two still doing here?" you stuttered, giving a wary smile. You noticed Blue sweating a little and that Orange looked even more hostile than before.

"H-human!" Blue pushed his brother off him, causing him to fall face-first on the ground, and walked over to you. "I waited for you because I wished to ask you something, friend!"

Your cold smile melted a bit. Such a sweet little thing. "Well, I'm sorry I took so long. How can I help you Blue?"

He gave you a stunning grin. "Do you have any plans now that you're done here?"

"I have a few more places to go to," you nod. "Why? What's wrong?"

He shook his head and began fiddling with his fingers. "Nuttin'! I was going to ask if you wanted to dine with my brother and I later tonight..." He looked back up. "I would love to know more about my new friend!"

You thought about it for a second. On one hand, you really didn't want to risk revealing yourself. On the other hand, you also didn't want to break the poor thing's heart by saying no.

"I'd be happy to go to dinner with you."

You gave a calm smile as you watched him jump with joy. "Great! Let's exchange numbers!"

Your calm facade twitched. Being the Shadow Broker, you already had his phone number. But you still had to say something to avoid suspicion, so you told him Elona's number instead.

"What should I call you, miss?" he asked.

"Leliana would be okay." He nodded in reply and you spun around to head towards the exit. However, a few steps later, Elona's phone rang. Before you could tell her not to pick up, she placed it on speaker so that you can listen in. "Hello?"

There was a slight pause before the voice spoke up.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to do, Miss Leliana."

You took a deep breath and turned to a very sad looking blueberry. Behind him was a skeleton who looked ready to maul your face off.

"A-ah, Blue," you scratched your head. "Sorry about that. I don't know my own phone number so I usually... just give... Elona's... and get the caller's afterwards."

Smooth one,  . _Real_ smooth.

You close your eyes to avoid the kicked-puppy look he was giving you. After a few agonizing seconds, you reeled back from a crushing hug.

"You're such a nice person Leliana!"

What?

"You thought so highly of me, you let your friend (sneakily) become friends with me too!" he gave an illustrious laughter.

You let go an awkward laugh while he continued to shower himself with praises.

Meanwhile, Elona pulled on the sleeve of your shirt. "I'm going to get the car ready Ma'am," she whispered. You look over to see her ready to make a run for it.

"Okay let's—"

"Please allow the Magnificent Blue to escort you, Lady Elona!"

You caught your companion's stare. Thankfully, the car you used differed from the one you use while being the Shadow Broker, but still.

You had a choice.

Either walk with Elona back to the car while getting bombarded with a barrage of questions... Or lounge on a long, comfy sofa with a quiet, albeit irritated, tall skeleton.

You gave a sorry nod to the pleading Elona. "Call me when it's ready."

* * *

You walked back to the love-seat and sat down while orange stood by the wall next to you. Even though you were being smothered by the tension in the atmosphere, _he_  took out a cigarette and proceeded to light it. You spied a little sign above his head.

"Non-smoking area, pal."

He raised an eye-bone and took a wisp.

"Hey-"

"Bite me."

You cringed. Orange wasn't normally so aggressive. "Did I do something to offend you?"

He looked at you as if you grew another set of limbs.

"Well, for one, you played a mean trick on my bro," he took another puff. "And that _Leliana_ , in truth, isn't your real name."

Crap.

You turned to him, avoiding his eyes like the plague. "What do you mean?"

He walked in front of you, cigarette idly resting in his mouth. "Your name isn't 'Leliana', is it." He stated more than asked.

No it isn't.

"Yes it is."

He stared, eyes lightly glowing orange. "Not gonna ask you again nicely, lady," he said, voice getting deeper. "What's your _real_ name?"

It's .

"It's Leliana."

"Hmm... Should probably tell you something, sweetheart." He paused before taking a long drag of the cigarette and tossing it into a nearby fountain. As if part of a horror movie, fog-like smoke streamed out of his mouth.

**"I hate liars."**

Oh fuck.

You tried to look for an escape route but, using his arms, Orange boxed you in.

"Come on lady," he smirked, fangs glistening behind the smoke. "Tell me what I wanna know, and we won't have to do this the hard way."

You returned the threatening smile. "How about you get off me, Mr. Orange."

He stood up -spine straight-before grabbing your wrist and pulling you off the chair. " _I never told you my name._ "

Shit. Crap. Fuck.

Before he could do anything, you saw a little blue figure skipping back. You heard a low growl from Orange before he threw you back on the sofa. "Stay **away** from my brother."

Blue, thy name is hero.

You rub your wrist and got up.

"Leliana! Lady Elona was calling you! Why didn't you pick up?" You frantically search your pockets and noticed that the ringer was off. That's strange, you never turn off the ringer. Oh well. You said goodbye to Blue (while ignoring his brother's glare) and went outside.

* * *

"Brother, what were you doing with her when I left?"

Orange looked over to see the little one's eyes devoid of stars. "Nothin' much bro. Just had a small chat with her," he shrugged.

His brother squinted at him. "When I held the phone, the ringer was on."

A small silence passed between them. He rubbed the back of his skull. What else was he going to say?

' _Oh nothing much. I was just about to rip her arms from her shoulders and then give her to Boss as a torture gift afterwards if she didn't tell me what I wanted to hear_ '?

He'd sooner cut off his own legs before exposing his brother to that!

"Hey, Orange?"

He winced. His younger brother never called him that unless it was important. "Blue?"

"We... we never met her before, right?"

He was pretty sure he would remember someone like you, so he shook his head.

_"Then how come her phone had both of our numbers in it?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You were getting too friendly with everyone so let's throw in some animosity ｡⌒☆
> 
> Once again, I caught a fever from being too stressed out so I'm probably going to update a bit slowly for a while.  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Edit: Apologies for the accidental delete


	6. Dinner for...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner time~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SMOKES. 100+ KUDOS AND 1000+ VIEWS.  
> As a thank you, I decided to push and write the story a coupla days early. Here you go ;3

This was a bad idea.

After completing the rest of the errands, you decided to get a phone _explicitly_ for your other persona. On the way back to base, you called Blue to give him the new phone number. He then reminded you about dinner.

Now, you're sitting on your bed with your head in your hands. You heard a knock at the door. “Ma'am, are you okay?”

Elona kneeled down in front of you with a cup of coffee in her hand. She passed it to you, and you take a sip. Huh. Just how you like it.

“This is delicious Elona,” you smiled. “It's exactly how I like it. Thank you.”

You watched a blush light up her wooden face. “N-no problem Ma'am! Anything I can get for you?”

You peered through the crack of the opened door and eyed the kitchen. Ignoring the tornado-sized mess on the floor, you shook your head. She sat next to you on the bed. “Then... Would you like to talk about what happened earlier?”

You sighed and laid down. “I like the little blueberry. I really do. But his brother's _so_ distrustful, I accidentally let go that I knew his name before he introduced himself. He trapped me, Elona. I haven't been in such a compromising position since— “

Since before you were the Shadow Broker.

You shook your head to remove the thoughts raiding your mind. You vowed not to think about **that** anymore.

“Ma'am?”

You looked up to a worried Elona.

“Sorry about that dear.” You patted her hand and drank the rest of the coffee. “I have to get ready for a night out. Are you _sure_ you have everything covered?”

Elona usually covered for you every time you went to the surface. Being the skilled technician that she was, it was relatively easy for her to act as the Shadow Broker. However, you always had this nagging feeling eating at you until she reassured you a million times.

“No worries Ma'am! I have everything all under control,” she giggled. “And as for that... that _infuriating_ Orange. How _dare_ he mess with you! I'll- I'll spam his text box with useless mail!”

Lightly chuckling, you gave her a hug. The dear was as threatening as a tiny poodle. Still, your heart swelled with warmth every time she tried to stand up for you. She may call you her boss, but you treated each other like sisters.

It was the closest thing you've ever had to a family.

She excused herself when you began dressing up. As much as you hated it, it was time for a date with the devil and his younger brother.

 

* * *

 

You followed Blue's directions to a rather high-end Italian restaurant. He said that the place was kinda famous and, judging by the paparazzi outside the establishment, you had to agree with him.

Ignoring the glares, you swam through the crowd to talk with a man at the reception.

“Ciao, signorina. Welcome to Ristorante Sconosciuto di Temmie. Do you have a reservation?”

“Table for four under the name Esqueleto.”

The man behind the counter went through a computer before speaking up. “Oh. Signorina, we marked you down with a table for _six._ ”

You blink. Did he bring guests over?

“No need to worry signorina. Your companions were expecting you so please, follow me.”

You decide to take in the scene as the two of you walked. Even though the restaurant was gigantic, it was certainly filled to the brim. Passing by a few famous movie stars, you began to feel unprepared for whoever Blue decided to bring with him. You were pulled out of your observation when you saw a tiny figure running up to you.

“Leliana!” he squeaked as he hugged you. “I'm so glad you decided to come! Where's Lady Elona?”

You gave a sad smile. “I'm sorry she couldn't come. She had work to do.”

“Awh...Oh well. I'll show her my friends later!”

“Speaking of which, I was told you reserved a table for six?”

“Mhm! Let me introduce you to my buddies!”

You stopped walking when you saw Blue's _friends_ at the table.

“Leliana, this is Sans and Papyrus!”

* * *

 

“HELLO HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT AND MIGHTY PAPYRUS! I—HUMAN. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” asked Papyrus. He turned to his brother. “SANS, WHY DID THE HUMAN STOP MOVING? ARE THEY OKAY?”

The lazy skeleton shrugged.

“hey kid,” he pointed to you. “stop _skulk-_ ing around and have a seat.”

Weird kid.

Lil' Blue was pretty much talking about you and your confrontation with the female receptionist. With the way he described you, he was expecting someone like his friend Undyne—not a tiny, timid human. Or maybe you're one of those people who quietly simmer then BANG— Undyne.

Eh, he didn't care. Anyone who had the guts to stand up to such a mean person was alright... Unless you were one of those bastards who were against his brother.

Sans slowly sat up in his seat when you continued to gawk at Papyrus.

You better not lay a damn finger on his brother, or so help him, he was going to use you as a punching bag.

Ever since it became clear that Paps was going to win the election, the number of people trying to hinder him sky-rocketed. If Sans wasn't sleeping, he was out _persuading_ enemies. Half the time he was in the middle of eating! Okay, sure he was proud of his brother, but Jesus Christ. They were wearing him down to the **bone**.

Heh.

As if the assassinations weren't enough, Sans was now being attacked by _Red_ of all people. The edgy crap-basket would _not_ stop raiding his resting spots for his joke books. He didn't even know that he liked jokes! He thought Red was constantly being punished if so much as a pun left his mouth. Guess he was turning a new leaf.

Good for him.

But it doesn't excuse him for ruining his napping areas. What did he need _his_ books for anyway? Mustard guzzling freak can get his own.

“BROTHER ARE YOU LISTENING?”

Oops.

“sorry paps. what was that?” The taller skeleton gave an exaggerated sigh.

“SANS! YOU NEED TO BECOME A BETTER LISTENER, LIKE YOURS TRULY!”

Good ol' Paps, being an avid listener.

“no can do bro,” he pointed to the sides of his head. “no ears.”

“AGH! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN YOU LAZYBONES!” yelled Papyrus. “THIS IS LELIANA! SHE VOTED FOR ME SANS!”

'kay cool. He didn't need to give you a bad time. Cross out one name from the ever-growing list of assholes.

“nice to meet ya kid,” he extended a hand. An obnoxious farting sound erupted through the room and everyone around them looked at you. His permanently-fixed grin broke into a laugh when your face turned as red as ketchup. While Paps and lil' Blue were groaning, he eyed Orange. He would be throwing a high-five at Sans right about now. Instead, he was glaring daggers at you like there's no tomorrow.

What's his problem?

 

* * *

 

You sat in between Blue and Papyrus, completing a circle with Orange next to Blue and Sans next to his brother. After the embarrassing moment, you felt a merry atmosphere cover the table. All of you (with the exception of Orange) happily talked about everything and nothing until the food came.

You looked around at the others' plates.

Blue ordered a mushroom risotto, Orange got chicken marsala, Papyrus (of course) had something like spaghetti, and Sans ordered... a pizza.

“Who orders a pizza at a place like this?”

He raised an eye-bone before taking a large bite of a slice. “Don't know what you're talkin' about kid,” he lifted his partly-bitten slice to you. “You sure don't want a _pizza_ this?”

You laughed as you heard simultaneous groans from your sides.

“BROTHER, STOP YOUR PUNS BEFORE THE HUMAN RUNS AWAY BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Blue nodded ferociously and swallowed whatever was in his mouth. “Yeah! Don't make Lily leave!”

Lily?

Sans gave a hearty chuckle. “Wow, tough crowd. Fine fine. I'll _leaf_ her alone for now.”

Before he could retrieve his arm, Blue accidentally collided with him when he went to reach something, causing the pizza slice to fall on your chest. You froze, jaw dropped, as the slice slid down to the table. A small silence crept in until—

“My stars! I'm so sorry Lily!”

“SANS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?”

“s-sorry 'bout that kid.”

“Pfft...”

You all turned to a tall skeleton who was clenching their stomach, trying to stop himself from laughing.

“Brother!” pouted Blue. “We haven't heard a single word from you this entire time, and _then_ you decide to laugh?”

“Can't-snrk- help it bro. H-her face was priceless.” he took a deep breath. “No seriously lady, you have such a... a funny-looking face.”

You raised an eyebrow to the underlining insult.

“No need to get _saucy_ with me Orange,” you lift the pizza slice and folded it like a wallet. “We both know who's footing the bill since **I** have all the _dough_.”

“HUMAN/LILY!”

You gave a proud smile as the elder brothers bent over in laughter.

A few minutes passed and, as much as you loved having pizza sauce on your clothes, you wanted to go clean yourself.

“Excuse me, I'm going to be right back. Gonna freshen up a bit.”

You watched Orange stand up.

“Kinda spilled wine on myself too.” He looked at you, his motives unreadable. “Come on. Let's go, mess-buddy.”

You couldn't refuse his offer without a good reason, so you both walked to the other end of the restaurant. Maybe he finally let go of earlier— since he was laughing and all.

“So. You finally gonna tell me your real name, lady?”

_...Nevermind._

You sighed and looked around. The path to the restrooms were completely empty and the only things you could hear were your muffled footsteps on the velvet carpet.

“Look, _Leliana_. I could tell that you don't wanna say anything. That's fine.”

You cocked your head in question.

“I'll stop bugging you if you promise to answer my other question.”

Oh thank god.

“I promise. Ask me anything,” you nod.

“Why did you have me and my brother's phone numbers before we met you?”

Wh-

“What?”

“We took a peek at your phone. I'm pretty sure I would've remembered you if I met you before.”

When did they have your phone?

How did they unlock it? No. Knowing Orange's thieving skills, he probably broke through it in a matter of seconds. How much of your phone did they see? The two other factions were on it too.

You couldn't say that you _were_ the Shadow Broker. As much as you trusted this skeleton, you couldn't risk it.

Hell, it took you _years_ to entrust Elona with the truth, and she's been with you for far longer.

You couldn't tell him. You'd rather risk getting slaughtered by the taller skeleton than risk your identity.

_**You'd sacrifice anything to keep your current lifestyle.** _

You felt something on your head.

“Hey lady. Are you as empty in there as me?”

He was poking your head. You gave a small laugh and he looked at you as if your were crazy. Maybe you could tell him.

Just not the _whole_ truth.

“I... I'm an agent for the Shadow Broker.”

Seeing his relaxed posture freeze, you stopped walking. “I have your numbers because I'm one of the Broker's top agents. I-I usually—“

He held up a hand to stop your stuttering.

“Whoa there. It's okay Leliana. I understand.”

He did?

“You do?”

“Yeah. No need to speak their name. Actually, you working for them makes a whole-lotta sense and answers the rest of my questions,” he gave a soft smile. “Thanks for telling me.”

You nodded in reply and finally reached the restrooms. As you were about to walk in, you felt a tug on your arm.

“Hey, uh... Sorry about earlier today.” He rubbed his neck before extending a hand. “Maybe we could start over?”

Without thinking, you hugged him instead of taking his hand. “My name is Leliana, and it was a pleasure to meet you.”

You gave a toothy grin and ran into the women's restroom.

* * *

Orange spaced out while staring at the door of the women's restroom.

So you were one of Shadow's leading operatives. Explained why you acted so suspicious. Explained why you had their numbers. And explained why you couldn't tell him your real name.

Underneath all that secrecy, you were pretty cute.

He felt his magic rise to his face.

He did not just call you...cute.

What he meant to say was you were a malevolent, horrid creature, hell-bent on turning his own brother against him.

He sighed while entering the men's side.

You were alright. Sure both of you were like water and oil at the beginning, but he slowly learned that you were a pretty nice person. He could see you as a good friend.

Orange passed by a mirror, before pausing and taking a few steps back.

He grinned.

“You little punk...”

You got pizza sauce on his favorite suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. That was a trip and a half.  
> Gonna rest for a bit now.  
> Have a pleasant day~


	7. Tom Foolery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun and games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the smashing reviews of the previous chapter ;D  
> But...I've been making you guys too happy. Hrm...
> 
> Also, there was a reason why the rating started off as M instead of T. Here you go~

Orange finally returned to his pun-slinging antics with Sans, laughing at his brother's dismay. Even though you made up with him, you swore that he was still staring at you—although less maliciously. Whenever you tried asking him what was wrong, his cheeks would flush, then he would change the subject.

Funny enough, the tall spaghetti-loving cinnamon roll was the one who noticed his strange actions. "ORANGE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU SICK?"

The conversations at the table paused, and you all looked at the counterpart who was sipping from a wine glass.

"What? Of course I am Paps. Why? What's wrong?"

Papyrus pointed to his face. "YOUR FACE KEEPS CHANGING COLORS WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE HUMAN."

The other skeleton spit out his wine and starting coughing. While Blue was patting his brother's back, Sans gave an knowing grin. He looked at Orange then to you.

"hey kid," he pointed to his own shirt. "nice outfit."

"Uh, thanks—"

"bet it'd look better on Orange's floor."

This time _you_ spit out your drink and starting coughing. Papyrus started rubbing your back as Orange grabbed the smaller skeleton's collar. "Sans. Shut. Up."

Blue tapped his jaw thoughtfully,"But her clothes would get dirty!"

"Oh my god, bro please. Ignore this idiot—"

"that's fine," he tugged on Orange's shirt. "she could just wear these instea—"

"SANS THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE TABLE MANNERS!"

He laughed at Paps then looked at you straight into your eyes. "hey kid."

Orange shook him. "Sans. I swear-on all that is holy- shut your mouth, before I shut it for you."

"you know what's a pretty good drink?"

** "Sans." **

His devious smile became a full on, shit-eating grin.

_ "Orange juice." _

You watched a screeching skeleton angrily drag the cackling one outside while you froze, face completely red.

"I AM SO SORRY HUMAN! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY BROTHER!"

Your blush cooled down when you saw genuine worry on his face. "No worries Papyrus. I'm pretty sure he was just messing around."

"BUT..."

You pat his back. "Besides, you're still here! That means the night's still great!"

"NYEHEHE! THAT'S CORRECT!"

"What about me, Lily?"

You turned to a puppy-eyed blue skeleton. You felt something stab your metaphorical heart. 

"Oh Blue," you gave him a big hug. You thought he stiffened for a second before he hugged you back.

"Mwehehe!" he grinned, letting go of you. "I'm glad that the Magnificent Blue has not been forgotten!"

You heard a pout on the other side of you. "I WOULD LIKE A HUG TOO HUM—LILEANA!"

** hug **

"Me again, Lily!"  


** hug **

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS CANNOT HAVE A LESSER HUG COUNT THAN THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE!"

You continued to alternatively hug both of them before you heard a voice behind you. "whatcha doin' there kid?"

You looked over your shoulder to see a stubby, grinning monster with a (still) pissed-off skeleton behind him.

"SHE'S HUGGING US, SANS!"

He raised an eye-bone before taking his hands out of his pockets, and opening his arms. "come on kid. come 'ere."

You stood up and embraced the small skeleton, but before you could sit down, he twirled you around to face Orange. "now him. he's the only one left."

What is up with skeletons and their cuddles?

Ignoring the monster's stuttering, you gave him a tight squeeze before you sat down.

"You're going to be the death of me..." you heard him grumble.

 

* * *

 

After a rocky start, the table finally returned back to normal. Even after everybody finished their meals, the conversations kept going. Everyone only got up when a manager apologized that it was half an hour past closing time.  


"WOWIE!" bellowed Paps. "TODAY WAS SO MUCH FUN! WE MUST DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME!"

"Mhm! I'm glad all of you could come!" nodded Blue.

Orange looked at his watch then to his brother. "It's almost 12. Time to head home bro."

You chuckled when the hyper skeletons held each other and whined. "SANS! CAN I STAY OVER AT BLUE'S HOUSE TONIGHT?"

You could _feel_ the lazy skeleton fighting with himself. As you were going to help him, Orange pulled you aside.

"Hey uh..."he rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I'm really sorry about earlier. The thing about Sans I mean."

Ooh that.

You laughed. "Don't worry about it Orange. It was all just fun and games."

He looked slightly downhearted and gave a weak chuckle. "Haha...yeah..."

Confused by his reaction, you were about to apologize, but you paused when you saw Sans walking up to you.

"hey range. lil' blue's callin' you."

As the taller one shuffled away, Sans turned to you. "kid, i know we just ate, but wanna go somewhere with me?"

"What about Papyrus?" you asked.

 "eh, paps is gonna sleep over at their place tonight," he shrugged.

You thought about it for a second. You _really_ didn't want to leave Elona alone. Last time you stayed late outside she ended up working through the whole night, and passing out for the rest of the day.

You saw a sweat-bead drip from his skull. "come on kid. don't leave a skeleton hangin'. it's not halloween yet."

"Oh god," you snorted. "Okay, fine. Just lemme text someone real fast." You took out your alternate phone.

To [elolo17]: I'm going to be out for a while longer. Don't stay up too late, get some sleep!

You saw Paps waving in the corner of your eye, run up to you, and whip out his phone. "HUMAN! WE NEED TO MEET UP LIKE THIS AGAIN SO THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS GOING GRACIOUSLY GIFT YOU HIS NUMBER AND HOPE THAT YOU WOULD DO THE SAME!"

D'awww...

"Of course Papyrus."

He gave you his phone and as did you. When you got it back you had a new contact labeled 'THE GREAT AND MIGHTY AND STUNNING AND...'

You laughed as he strutted away, happily screaming,"THANK YOU HUMAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS MADE ANOTHER FRIEND! NYEHEHE!"

The other group waved goodbye and walked off into the night. You decided to check your phone and, sure enough, you got a message from Papyrus.

[FEEL FREE TO CALL ME PAPS FROM NOW ON HUMAN! ALL MY FRIENDS CALL ME THAT!@!@!!]

You smiled until you noticed that his message was the only text you received. Elona usually replied within seconds of _anything_ you send.

Guess she was busy.

"ready to go, kid?" You nodded in reply and he extended his hand. He looked a bit worried. "i know a shortcut, but i need you to close your eyes."

You stared at him. This must be his infamous teleporting trick that the notes have talked about.

"hey, don't look at me like that. i would never do anything bad to you, i'm a complete gentleman," he huffed arrogantly. "it's in my bones."

Groaning, you grab his skeletal hand. The moment you closed your eyes, you were hit by a wave of heat and light-headedness.

"woah there kid," he let go of your hand to steady you by the waist. "welcome to grillby's."

 

* * *

 

Wow. Humans were soft.

"Where are we? How'd you do that?" He let go of you and stared at your face, eyes shining brightly.

"magic," he said as he shook his jazzy hands. He chuckled when you grumbled away from him and look up ahead.

"Is...Is the bartender on fire?"

Ah, if he got a dollar for every time he's heard that...

He laughed and pushed you towards the bar. Since it was very late, he and you (plus a passed out rabbit in a cubicle) were the only ones there.

"hey grillz. this here's leliana. kid, this is the hot-as-hell owner of this place." He grinned when he felt the heat from behind the counter rise.

"...Grillby," whispered the elemental. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance..."

Sans watched you return the greeting. He eyed Grillby silently sliding him a ketchup bottle while he spoke with you. The conversation between the three went on for a while and Sans sat back for a bit to drink his condiment.

He was glad Blue introduced you to them.

You were a nice kid. You didn't discriminate against his brother. Hell, you liked awful puns as much as he did. No wonder Range had it bad for you.

Ah, speaking of him...

He waited until you finished your conversation with Grillby, with the bartender walking away to clean a few tables.

"so kid." Sans sat up in his seat and mimicked a certain skeleton's voice. "i'm so so sorry, please forgive me for being a god damn, sonova, blah blah blah, numbskull."

He grinned when you giggled.

You had a pretty nice voice.

"No worries," you smiled. "Those lines were _sans_ -sational."

Oh. Hell yes.

"really now?" he smirked. "good thing i brought my library card then— i'd like to check you out."

"Oh my god!" you laughed, clenching your stomach. After a few breaths, you shook your head. "Too bad you're a skeleton."

He tilted his head in question. What was that supposed to mean?

"Because if you were a fruit, you'd be a _fine_ -apple."

Sans doubled over in laughter. "Gods, that was I-I don't even know!"

You chortled when he couldn't stop laughing which, in return, made him laugh even louder. He finally caught his breath and watch you catch yours. While squirming on the bar table, he saw your shirt slowly ride up to your ribs.

"hey kid, nice bones," he pointed to your rising shirt. "want another one in you?"

You froze, hurriedly fixed your outfit, then looked away from him.

Shit.

Was that too much?

"h-hey kid."

He spun you around, expecting a condescending look filled with hatred. Instead, your face was hidden behind your hands, so he pried them free. He was rewarded with the most adorable, flushed look he had ever seen.

He wanted to see you even more embarrassed.

"hey, sleeping with me is killer," he bent towards you. "wanna die happy?"

 _"Saaaaans!"_ You tried turning your face away, but he held it in place.

"broke my bed yesterday, can i sleep in yours tonight?"

"Sans oh my god please—"

"Fine fine. I'm heading outside." He let go of you and jumped off the stool. He then materialized a tongue and stuck it out towards you. "wanna come?"

"FOR GOD'S SAKES!"

Sans bellowed with laughter as he waved goodbye to Grillz and walked with you towards the exit.

"i-i'm," he coughed. "i'm not hearin' a no, kid."

He snickered when you stumbled on a step.

"C-come on. Let's just get back," you growled, grabbing hold of his hand. He teleported both of you back to the restaurant, catching you when you wobbled from nausea.

Good lord, you humans were really soft.

"Well, that was really fun— despite the fact that a certain someone was trying to kill me."

He gave a lazy grin. "no skin off my bones kid. here, gimme your digits so i can take you out again."

He pulled out his phone and looked up to see you shaking your fingers in front of him.

Wh-oh. Har har.

"nice one kid. now give 'em here."

The two of you exchanged numbers and he watched you walk away. When you turned into an alleyway, he let out a long sigh.

You were a nice kid.

You were a friend of his brother.

You were flipping _adorable._

But...

_You were important to Orange.  
_

He felt his soul lurch.

"I need a drink..." he groaned, teleporting away.

 

* * *

 

You silently curse the paparazzi for making you park so far away.

You paused when you heard a sound coming from behind you. Turning your head slightly, you saw a group of people staring at you.

Oh, how wonderful.

You continued walking, although a bit faster. You turned a corner into a tighter alleyway. Looking around, it was completely devoid of life. You sped up when you heard multiple footsteps coming from behind you.

Were they muggers? Were they just a small-time gang out for fresh meat?

Or were they hitme—

You grit your teeth when you heard a loud bang and felt a sudden pain blast through your right thigh. Ignoring the ache, you broke into a sprint.

"She's getting away! Get her!"

You grind your teeth when you felt another burst of pain in your left arm.

You had to hide somewhere. You were just zig-zagging in a straight alley. They were going to kill you if you kept it up. You squinted up ahead.

Dead end.

Shit!

Your eyes rapidly scanned the path. You almost screamed in delight when you saw an opened vent hidden behind a couple of boxes.

You jumped behind the boxes, feeling the head of the bullets whizzing past your face. Ignoring the burning sensation in your arm and leg, you crawled through the vent as if your life depended on it— and boy, it did.

You thank Lady Luck for supplying the vent with multiple routes. You heard yelling echo through the metal. "Damn it you idiots! It's just one woman! _The bullets were poisoned for God's sake!_ "

Are you kidding me?

You felt a crack beneath you.

"No. Nonono—"

You crashed through the rusty metal, landing in a dusty room filled with deteriorating pipes.

You tried getting up, but fell back down, feeling light-headed. You felt something wet and sticky to your right, and so you turned your head. You had a giant gash on the right side of your ribs.

Great! Let's add in Tetanus to the unknown toxins dancing in your body. It's all one big party of death in your body, and life wasn't invited.

You groaned. You were going crazy and blamed it on the poison.

It was pretty clear you couldn't move anymore. You had to call someone.

The first person you thought of was Elona. She could send in a group to save you.

You rustled through your bloody pockets for your main phone and dialed her number.

_"We're sorry. The number you have dialed does not exist."_

What the hell?

You ended the call and dialed again.

_"We're sorry. The num—"_  


Oh no. Was she okay? Damn it! This is why you never stayed out too late!  


"Please be okay, Elona."

That was one person you tried to call. Who could— Sans! He has that teleporting ability. Maybe he can...

You took out your other phone and called him. _"We're sorry. The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable."_

"Are you shitting me?" You just saw him a few minutes ago!

You bit your lip thinking of the next person you could try...

Orange!

You punch in his number on your side phone. Please work.

** ring **

Yes! You cross you fingers.

** ring **

Come on! You grip your side, trying to stop the blood flow.

**r** \-- **click**

_"Heyo, Orange here."_

Oh thank God.

"Orange. I need you to help me. I—"

_ "Ahh, gotcha. Voicemail. Leave a message and I might get back to ya." _

**beep **

.

.

.

_** "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?" ** _

You smash the power button and were about to throw the phone, but your arm fell weakly to your side.

You cussed inwardly. You didn't want to do this, but desperate times call for desperate measures. You pick up your main phone with your other arm and poked a number that was on speed dial.

The phone rang once before a low, grumbling voice spoke up. _"Hello?"_

You grip your bleeding side as hard as you could, hoping the distortion effect on the phone was working.

"Boss, it's me. I need to cash in that favor _now_."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *patiently awaits for angry screaming*


	8. Running Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The attackers are still onto you...!
> 
> [Trigger Warning]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehe ;3 Silly Sansy. Such an awesome reaction from the previous chapter. Thanks guys!  
> And now, the mandatory transition episode.

Boss grumbled into his pillow.

He just spent an entire day yelling at his subordinates. Apparently, there was an unknown faction hell-bent on causing havoc in his territory. From break-ins to out right dusting his fellow crusaders, Boss has had enough with that mystery group.

And his brother wasn't helping.

Every time he turned around, the angsty wrecking ball would disappear somewhere. Next thing you know, Boss gets a passive-aggressive message from Sans saying something about napping areas and his brother.

Was the idiot seriously vanishing mid-battle to sleep behind his back?

That lazy attitude of his is going to get him killed, but he won't let that happen. Boss chided himself for allowing his brother to become lethargic. That wasn't a habit the leader of the gang could fall into.

He gave a long yawn.

But he was going to do that when he wakes up. He felt his eyelids droop— until his phone blared next to his head.

“Who the devil...” he answered the call. “Hello?”

“ _Boss, it's me. I need to cash in that favor **now**.”_

He sat up, rigid. “Broker?”

Why did they sound so out of breath?

“ _I need you to pick someone up and protect them **at all cost**.”_

“Broker, what happened?” He jumped off his bed and hurriedly put on his bullet-proof equipment. “Who are we escorting? Are they injured?”

Boss heard you pause, taking a deep breath. _“A woman who goes by the name 'Leliana' and, as for her injuries, I don't know the extent of it but I think it's pretty bad. Candy won't help.”_

He squinted at the phone. He was getting more and more suspicious of why the Shadow Broker truly called him.

“Broker,” he growled. “ **What happened?** ”

Before he could hear your response, he heard a loud crash from your end. _“Can't talk,”_ you whispered. _“Sending you her coordinates using her phone. **Hurry.** ”_

The line closed before Boss could stop you.

“Fuck!” he yelled, stepping out of his door and taking a left to his brother's.

He was about to kick the door down before he heard something. He placed the side of his head and instantly regretted it.

“RED! YOU DISGUSTING DEGENERATE! I'M GIVING YOU 10 SECONDS TO COME OUT HERE BEFORE I DRAG YOU OUT MYSELF!”

He face palmed as he heard rapid rustling and cussing from behind the door.

Why- in the mother of fuck- was he screaming for the Shadow Broker?

“B-boss! W-whatcha need?”

He peered through his bony hand to see a flushed, fidgeting skeleton.

Oh lordy.

“I just received a call from the Broker—”

He saw his eyes light up.

“— and we have to save someone—”

He saw the light in his eyes die out.

“— and escort them back here.”

He saw his brother's eyes fill with contempt. Boss would have laughed if the situation wasn't so dire.

He felt his phone vibrate and opened it.

Meanwhile, Red was growling. “So you're telling me, you woke me up in the middle of the night to save some sorry guy's ass?”

You were far from sleeping, you fool.

“It's a female, imbecile.”

“I don’t give a rat's ass if they were a friggen’ _unicorn_. I was—”

Boss clenched his brother's skull. **“Red.”**

“S-sorry Boss,” he grumbled. “So, who're we looking for?”

“Someone by the name of 'Leliana',” he looked down on his phone to see a map of the city with a dot blinking in the corner. “Do you know where this is?”

Red squinted at the phone. “I don't know where it is exactly, but I've been somewhere close to that.”

Boss nodded in reply.

Despite being a weak, powerless nitwit, as long as he'd seen a place once, he could teleport to it (with at least one passenger) easily. He also had to admit, his memory was rather exceptional— even going as far as saying it was better than his own.

But it'll be a cold day in hell before he'd say that out loud.

He held the smaller skeleton's shoulders before teleporting to a filthy alleyway. There was trash everywhere and putrid liquids lined the wall like—

Ugh.

“How the hell did you end up _here?_ ” He watched his brother open his mouth before he shut it for him. “Never mind. I don't want to know. Come, we need to find this woman.”

If your injuries were as bad as he thought they were, he should take torture lessons from your attackers.

* * *

" _Broker, what happened?”_

Before you could respond, the door to the room slammed open. You cursed and forced yourself to merge with the shadows of the pipes. However, the light of the phone was going to expose you so you turned on the emergency GPS program on your other phone, told Boss, and ended the call.

You hoped Elona remembered to configure the tall skeleton’s phone to accept your coordinates.

“She has to be in here! I swear I heard something!”

You held your breath when you heard footsteps approaching your hiding spot. You closed your eyes focusing on your hearing, listening to how far they were.

10— no, 12 feet.

5 feet.

3…

You bit your lip when you felt someone looking straight into your direction.

“She’s not here you idiots! Let’s go look somewhere else!”

You inwardly sighed in relief when you opened your right eye and saw that no one was there. You crawled out of the darkness.

However, you were immediately lifted by your neck by something from your left blind spot. You were brought up face to face by someone wearing a balaclava.

“Now that we’re _alone_ ,” you heard him grin, before slamming you to the ground. “You and I can have some fun before we turn you in.”

You flail your hands, ignoring the burning sensation in your arms, for any sort of weapon.

There was no way in hell you were going to take it.

You gasp when you felt an iron pipe with your left arm. With him in the process of bending towards you, you wrapped your legs around his waist and used his own weight to reverse your positions. You then slammed the pipe onto his face.

You. Won’t. Suffer. **AGAIN.**

You caught yourself repeatedly bashing the unmoving man.

Oh no, did you just—

You felt his neck. There was a pulse.

Oh thank god. You must have thought that he was…

You shook your head. Best not to think about the past right now.

You jumped when you heard a pair of footsteps approaching the room again.

Shit. Through sheer willpower, you hid behind some pipes and focused on your hearing once more.

4 feet away.

2…

_Now!_

With the rest of your remaining strength, you swing the iron pipe as hard as you could.

“FUH—!” you saw the iron pipe break on the stubby figure that fell.

Wait. Stubby?

You clamber towards the unconscious figure, cradling his head like a child.

 _“RED!”_ you screamed, as did a voice through the door. You watched a much taller skeleton pretty much slide on his knees to his brother’s side.

“ **HUMAN! I SHOULD KILL YOU FOR THAT!”** He reached out to you.

You slapped away his hand. “Now’s not the time for arguments Boss! I-I might have cracked his skull!”

“You know my name.” You felt his infamous death glare on your face. “Are you ‘Leliana’ by any chance?”

You nod and he turned back to Red. “Normally, I would strip you of your spine, but your assailants are nearby.”

He dug through his pockets, unwrapped a piece of candy, and stuffed it into the smaller one’s mouth. He waited a second before silently throwing you and Red over his shoulders like sacks of potatoes. He was about to take a step, but you stopped him.

You pointed to the unconscious man you knocked out earlier. “Do you think we could take him?”

He raised an eye-bone. “Ally?”

You shook your head— regretting it afterwards. “Info.”

Nodding, his eyes began to glow, raising the semi-corpse towards him and began running.

Your face turned green with every step he took. You never knew he could move so fast.

“If so much as a drop of saliva gets on me, human,” you heard him growl. “I will gut you _very_ slowly.”

Out of pure determination, you held in your dinner from that night.

Boss ran until you were all a few blocks away. Despite carrying two (three if you include the floating piece of garbage) people, the damn monster hardly broke a sweat.

He set you down, and you dizzily chuckled at him slapping Red awake— ‘til you sensed something staring at your group. You looked everywhere then you saw it. A sniper had his aim on—

“Boss!” You jumped up, dove towards him, and felt something get lodged into your chest.

You thought you heard someone yelling and saw a flash of red, but you couldn’t keep your eyes open.

You blacked out.

* * *

 You felt an overwhelming pressure crushing you.

The more you tried to struggle, the tighter the sensation got.

Fighting your tired eyelids, you forced open an eye.

You were face to face with a short, sleeping skeleton. In a panic, you inched back only to get pulled back to him. You groaned.

Looking around, you were in a Spartan-like environment, so it was safe to say you weren’t in Red’s room.

But where was Boss?

_And why the hell were you sleeping in the same bed as Red?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand here comes the fun part.  
> I also decided to open my ask box as a lab experiment to allow you guys to ask the skeletons (or pretty much anyone in this story) a question.  
> Let's do some science guys. *fist pumps*


	9. Chillin' with the Crusade - Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up and feeling like sunshine~  
> Trigger Warning(?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the positive comments o(≧∇≦o)
> 
> Look, look!  
> Someone responded with http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/141662068254/so-i-umm-made-a-response-even-tho-i-suck-at-art  
> to my thing:  
> http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/141633043014/always-blue-always  
> Keep asking me things guys~ ;D

It was getting hot and the skeleton showed no sign of waking up.

“Red, come on. Get up!” you said while pushing him.

Instead of getting some room, he squeezed you even tighter. Being crushed into his ribs, you caught a whiff of mustard and something musky.

He squeezed your waist. “Broker...” he grumbled.

You froze.

Did he know?

You look down at your clothes to see that your outfit had been swapped with something ten times bigger than your actual size. You guess that Boss' clothes were too big. You also thank him for helping with your injuries. But was it really too much to ask for a shirt that _doesn't_ say 'idiot' in bold letters on it?

Wait, your phones were in your clothes!

Since you were being squished between the wall and Red, you tried stretching your neck over him. However, the snoring skeleton inched closer and you felt something hot and sticky on your neck.

“ _Red!”_ you yelled.

You sighed in relief when he woke up. You also cringed when he backed up too far and fell off the bed face-first.

How many times have you hurt the poor thing's head?

“Wuh—“ he sat up and glared at you. “Tha fuck are you doin' in my bed!?”

You sat up and crossed your arms. “This isn't your room, Red.”

Confused, he looked around then paused. “Oh... Thas right I...”

A dark grimace crept onto his face before he looked at you— first with befuddlement then with bitter arrogance.

“So...” he put his elbows on the bed. “Gold digger, huh?”

You blink. “What?”

“I know that Boss issa big shot n' all, but seriously doll?” He pointed at the bed. “You could do much better than that.”

You stared at him, exasperated.

Was he seriously implying—

He stood up and kneeled on the bed. You reeled back in reflex and scooted until your back hit the wall. “I was passed out for God's sakes!”

He held your arms above your head when you tried shoving him away.

“Damn, no need to describe what happened,” he whispered into your ear. “ **You dirty brother fucker.** ”

“ _Red! Let go of her this instant!”_

You both turned to a half-naked skeleton positioned to attack by the door.

Red gave a single “Ha!” before letting you go and walking up to his brother.

“That good, huh?” he winked.

Boss grabbed his brother's collar and brought him up to his face. “Not another word from you. **Leave.** ”

You watched the smaller one glare at you one last time before leaving. Meanwhile, the taller one strutted towards you as if the only thing he _wasn't_ wearing was a towel.

He stood by the bed, arms crossed. “We need to talk.”

 

* * *

 

Red stomped downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. He nearly ripped the fridge door off its hinges, grabbed a few bottles of mustard, then slammed it shut. He chugged one and growled when he finished it.

'Irritated' didn't even come close to what he was feeling.

After you got yourself shot for Boss, his brother went ape-shit with bones and damn-near eviscerated the gunner.

You bleedin' idiot. Didn't you know Boss didn't go anywhere without wearing proper protection like the pompous prick he was?

Red walked over to the living room and laid down on the couch.

He knew his brother could move fast, but damn. He sped like a bullet towards the medical area of his dungeon, holding you like a friggen' child. It was actually pretty fricken' funny to see the leader of the crusade hover over you like a mother hen.

Red took a sip and laughed bitterly. He turned on the TV and let the sounds echo throughout the room while he wallowed in his thoughts.

It was a couple of hours into treating you when they both realized you had somethin' _real_ nasty swimming inside of you. Red was surprised when his brother (very regretfully) confessed that he didn't know what kind of toxin it was.

Even with all the tubes and IVs plugged into you, your condition continued to get worse so Boss sent him to pick up some medical supplies in a nearby storage facility.

When Red came back, however, Boss had a phone up to his head in one hand, and gripping a different one in the other.

Carrying the medical necessities, he noticed that his brother was frozen stiff. When he asked what was wrong, the tall skeleton stuttered. **Stuttered.** Boss _never_ stuttered. Something bad happened.

Red's fear was confirmed and he teleported away when his brother said the Shadow Broker was no longer responding. Upon arriving, he dropped to his knees.

Broken computer screens littered the floor, blood covered the (normally) sparkling walls, and the table you usually sat at was broken in half. Standing up with shaky legs, he trudged through the sea of red and walked up to your desk.

There, he saw your trademark helmet cracked on a pile of dust.

He slowly raised the helmet as if it were more fragile than glass, and held it close to his chest.

You were strong. You were smart.

You gave him chocolate as a thank you for his bad jokes.

_**You. Weren't. Dead.** _

Teleporting back to his room, he threw everything off his table and gingerly placed your helmet down. Ignoring his brother's phone calls, he traveled back to your not-so-secret base for any clues towards your whereabouts.

For three days, he didn't rest and only consumed the occasional condiment for a source of energy.

But he wasn't a detective.

The only thing he could find was a door hidden behind the walls of the Broker's base.

He literally spent hours tryna make a scratch, but nearly passed out from a lack of energy. He reluctantly teleported back home and knocked out. He must have made a mistake in his teleportation because he was so physically and mentally exhausted.

Guess there was a first for everything.

But what he _couldn't_ understand was why the human they brought back was on his brother's bed. What happened while he was gone?

...Boss seriously wasn't boning a human while he was out doin' stuff, was he?

He thought his brother was “above these childish acts of distasteful sexuality”.

Red gripped a mustard bottle and ignored the liquid spilling out.

GOD _DAMMIT!_

 _He_ was the one who's supposed to kick back and relax— not the other way around!

Red jumped when he heard a crash upstairs.

“Tha hell?” He dropped the mustard bottles on the sofa and made his way to the upper level.

He didn't care whoever this _Leliana_ is... But if they did anything bad to their brother...

Red smiled.

He was gonna have a _good time._

 

* * *

 

You tried to look everywhere _except_ at Boss.

However, that was easier said than done when said skeleton was literally towering over you.

God damn, did he have some nice bone structure though.

“What do you need, Boss?” you gulped.

He squinted at you and growled.

"I hope you realize how _stupid_ it was for you to jump at me. Did you really think I wouldn't see the sharpshooter?”

Wh—

You raised an eyebrow. “You know, most people would be a _little_ grateful when someone saves their life.”

“As if I need a broken, pathetic whelp to,” he air quoted. “ _Save me._ ”

Calling you broken struck a nerve deep inside of you. Normally, you'd let it slide but you were too stressed out from the recent events.

Ignoring the ache in your legs, you stood up on the bed to (try to) get to his eye-level.

“Listen here, you damned skeleton,” you pointed a finger at him. “I just had the time of my life. Cut the mean bullshit.”

He laughed and bent towards you. “Aw, is the poor, defective human tired?”

You bite your lip.

Being the Shadow Broker, you know how big of a softy Boss really was. However, you never actually faced his outside persona head-first.

And was it pissing you off.

“And what is _that_ look for human?” he grinned.

“...Shut up.”

He gave a dark chuckle. “Would you look at that! I hurt the feelings of the damaged goods!”

You aimed your arms toward his throat but they were caught quite easily. “You mother fucker! Shut the hell up!”

He approached you, an inch away from your face. “Or what? Are you threatening me, Broker?”

“ **YES!”**

You pause.

Did he just...

You dropped down to the bed as he gave a smirk.

No no no.

He walked to a nearby closet and shuffled through it.

It's okay, it was just a fluke. He doesn't know—

“You know, _Broker_...”

Fuck.

“Quite surprising how you forgot that the easiest way to control someone is through their anger.”

You laid face down on the bed as your heard clothes rustling.

“You give in to rage quite easily, don't you _Broker_?”

“Oh god, kill me now. “ You grumbled into a pillow. You heard footsteps approach and felt a dip in the bed.

“No, that would be counter productive to my goals, _Broker_.”

You felt the hairs on your neck rise. “What do you want,” you stated more than asked.

There was a pause in the conversation before you felt a pat on your back. “To apologize.”

“What?” You look back from the pillow to see a genuinely sad skeleton.

He clasped his hands and looked away.

“Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to use this information for my own needs,” he said. “But I can see that my words have deeply affected you. I just wanted to confirm your title but I suppose I went a bit _too_ far.”

 _There_ was the big marshmallow.

You sat up to face him and sighed. Why were you so weak against all these skeletons' personalities?

You hug him and chuckled when he flinched. “Don't you **dare** touch me human! You'll open your wounds!”

Oh right.

“I suppose we're even since you managed to stitch me up. Thanks for that by the way.” You swore you saw a tinge of red appear on his cheekbones but it disappeared as fast as it appeared. “Speaking of which, I know you gave me some fancy threads, but where did you put my clothes? I need to make some phone calls.

“Your torn rags were unfitting for someone of your stature and, as much as I disapprove of Red's sense of fashion, I must agree with his shirt.” He tossed you both your phones.

 

* * *

 

 

While you waited for your phones to turn on, you asked if Red knew of your identity.

“No, it's... much safer for you if he didn't know who you were,” he said, avoiding your gaze.

Before you could ask what he meant, your side phone started blaring with alerts. With half a smile, you scanned through the senders to see they were mostly from Sans and Orange while you got the occasional questions about your status from Blue and Papyrus.

You check your other phone and tried calling Elona, but the number was still unavailable. You hoped that she was alright.

Sighing, you ignored the other work-related messages on the main phone, and turned on your other phone. You decided to call Orange and Sans to tell them that you were alright.

You dialed Orange's number and turned to Boss while you waited for him to pick up.

The tall skeleton was in the corner, trying to fix a giant sculpture of him into the closet. You didn't even see the damned statue when you woke up. How did that get here?

“Boss, that won't fit inside,” you laughed.

“No, it- it will! I can squeeze it in!” he snarled, trying to shove the thing in.

You walked up to the statue. Despite it being obnoxiously large, it was a marble sculpture of him in his (in)famous black tuxedo. It was extremely detailed, showing even the smallest of lines in his bones.

“Wow, did you make it?” You ask, touching the arms.

“Of course! This... this is a personal hobby of mine that Red does not need to know about.” He huffed arrogantly then shooed you. “Now I'm going to start moving it.”

With one hard push, the giant sculpture's head broke off at the top of the closet door. “Broker!” yelled Boss when he dived for you.

Your phone went flying and the sculpture fell as you rolled with Boss, finally stopping with him ontop of you. “A-apologies Human.”

Before you could reply, you heard the door open from across the room. “Boss, wazzat sou—”

Red paused mid-step. “Oh.” And began to back outside the room.

Boss jumped up and chased after him. “Wait! Red! It isn't what it looks like!”

Well that was fun.

You look at the shattered pieces of the statue and spied your phone under the pieces of rubble. It was off and you sighed.

Gotta wait for it to turn on again. God, you have such a love/hate relationship with technology.

 

* * *

 

“Brother your phone's ringing!”

Orange lifted his head from the sofa, “Who is it?”

He watched his brother look down at the phone. “It's Lily, brother! Here!”

The taller skeleton nearly ran across the room to answer your call. You've been gone for almost four days, and the last thing he heard was you shouting profanities at him. To make matters worse, the Shadow Broker wasn't responding to any of his calls so he's been on edge, constantly trying to contact you.

“Hello? Lilea—“

“ _Boss, that won't fit inside!”_

...What?

“ _No, it-it will! I can squeeze it in!”_

Orange nearly dropped the phone. He was hearing things right?

“ _Wow, did you make it?”_

“ _Of course! This...This is a personal hobby of mine that Red does not need to know about.”_

Were you...

“ _Now , I'm going to start moving.”_

HOLY SHIT! YOU WERE!

Orange slammed the power button. “Brother, what did Lily say? Is she okay?”

Blue jumped when his elder brother grabbed his shoulders and bent down towards him with the darkest glare he'd ever seen.

“ _ **Do you know the location of Boss' house?”**_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord. I rewrote this like 3 times, each time feeling less and less happy with the chapter. Sorry if it isn't up to par.  
> On the brightside, fun times are coming soon, yes?  
> Happy Easter everyone!


	10. Chillin' with the Crusade - Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hangin' out with the edgy bone-skies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMIGOD. I GOT FANART! LOOK! 
> 
> Elona on paper: http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/141802394414/im-so-sorry-i-tried-ive-honestly-never-drawn  
> Elona digitalized: http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/141819349229/ok-so-i-really-didnt-like-how-my-last-drawing
> 
> Fancy Blue + Awesome Extra: http://lyricaljelly.tumblr.com/post/141811651638/i-did-a-fan-aaaaart-its-from-a-ut-fanfic
> 
> Not really fanart BUT CHECK OUT THIS SKELLYMAN: http://8-bit-heart.tumblr.com/post/141863923256/on-a-scale-from-1-to-10-how-much-am-i-into-mafia
> 
> Thank you so much guys ;w; You guys are the best.  
> 

You tried calling Orange again, but were brought to his voice mail so you ended the call.

Half-listening to the edgy brothers' yelling downstairs, you dialed in Sans' phone number. Unlike the other skeleton, he picked up immediately.

“ _sup, sans here. who's this?"_

“Sans?”

You heard something shatter on the other side.

“ _holy— kid, is that you? are you okay? range's been freaking out since we've tried to contact you.”_

You gave a weak chuckle. “I ran across some problems when we split— ”

“ _god damn it... if only I walked you to your car...”_

Oh no, was he blaming himself for what happened?

You gripped the phone next to your ear.

“Sans! Listen to me!” you yelled. “ _Nothing_ is your fault! I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time!”

“ _yeah but...”_

“Besides,” You grin. “Even though the event was pretty _chilling_ , I had an _ice_ time!”

A lull in the conversation crept in before Sans spoke up again.

“ _kid...did you just—”_

“What's wrong Sans?” you chuckled. “Cat got your tongue?”

A smile was plastered on your face when you heard a hearty laugh from the other end of the line.

“ _nahhh, but you know what kid?”_

“What?”

You _heard_ a grin from the other side. _“i can certainly_ _ **give**_ _a little kitty my tongue.”_

You covered your face with your other hand. “Oh my god Sans. Are you serious?”

“ _why of course i am!”_ he snickered. _“i can show you an example if you want.”_

“ **OH MY GOD!”**

The two of you exchanged a few more puns before you heard Paps screaming from Sans' side.

“ _oh. well, that's my cue to get going. before i go, mind tellin' me where you are?”_

You bite your lip. It wouldn't hurt to tell him where you were right? “Well... Things happened so... I'm at Boss' house.”

You heard a pause in his breath. _“huh. okay.”_

'Okay'? That was it?

“You're... not even gonna ask?”

“ _mmm...nope. everyone's got a secret or two right?”_

You sighed in relief. Leave it to Sans to be so relaxed and understanding.

“Human? Are you finished with your phone call?”

Turning around, you were met face to face with a tall skeleton dragging a smaller one by his collar.

“Almost, Boss.” He nodded and stepped back outside the room.

“ _sounds like you got things to do too.”_

“Yeah,” you laughed.

“ _...hey...”_

“Yes Sans?”

You heard an intake of breath. _“nah... nevermind. take care kid.”_

You blink as you heard a click in the call. You look at your phone to see that the skeleton ended the conversation himself.

But why did it feel like he really wanted to say something else?

* * *

 Sans spaced out on the couch, dangling pieces of a broken glass bottle with his magic.

He knew those ruthless assholes could protect you, but he didn't trust them.

Sure Red may have stopped bugging him, but now he's running everywhere trying to look for something.

To make matters worse, Boss (somehow) became even more secretive than before. He also became more jumpy and suspicious.

“SANS! ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME WITH THE GROCERIES OR NOT!?”

He looked over his shoulder to see his brother carrying multiple brown bags in each arm. Seems like they were going to have spaghetti for dinner.

_Again._

He let his magic assist him, ignoring the yells he was receiving.

On a different note, you being at their house explains why Range was fervently tryin' to ask where Boss' home base was.

Sans snickered, trying to imagine the love-struck skeleton's face once he sees you with the brothers.

Aw man, he had to remember to ask you for pictures.

* * *

 You took a deep breath.

The last thing you remember was speaking to Sans on the phone.

“How about this one, miss?” said someone as they thrust a dress in your face.

You eyed the dress critically. “Do you have something that _isn't_ a string bikini with a long skirt attached to it?”

The lady holding the outfit took it away and shrugged. “I'm sorry ma'am, however, our patron strictly suggested outfits like these.”

You peeked your head out of the large dressing stall to see an arrogant Red winking at you.

“You pick somethin' out for our date yet, doll?”

You grumbled as you went through the dresses hanged for you.

Boss pretty much forced you to go on a walk outside with him and his brother to 'assess your strength'. He said that most of the injuries were healed except for your broken arm, hence your cast.

Midway downstairs, the tall skeleton was called into his work. He also vowed to disown Red if he didn't take you to see his 'wonderfully, wicked territory'.

“You ready yet? We gotta meet up with Boss at 9 but I still need ta' show you some spots and it's almost 6pm.”

You grind your teeth. “And what do _skimpy dresses_ and _9-inch heels_ have to do with taking a walk through a park?”

“Well, ya gotta dress _like me_ to walk _with_ me in public, doll.” he chuckled.

“Oh **really** now?” You stick your head out of the dressing room and grinned.

“W-wuzzat look for?”

“You _do_ know that qualifies _you_ as a hooker?”

“ _ **WHAT!?”**_

“Seeing how needle-point heels and see-through skirts qualifies as your fashion,” You smiled as you took off your clothes to try on another one. “I do believe that makes you a _very_ flamboyant stripper, Red.”

The curtains swung open. “SAY THAT TO MY **FACE** YOU LITTLE—”

He froze, staring at your cloth-less body.

You grab whatever was by your feet and (tried) to use it as a shield. “D-do you mind?” you stuttered, trying to shoo him away.

Instead of leaving, he walked further inside, letting the curtains close behind him. You shot him a peeved glare when he laid back on a wall.

“No, not at all,” He motioned you to continue. “Don't let me stop ya from dressin' up.”

Ignoring the cast on your right arm, you grabbed him and threw him outside the dressing room.

You laughed when you heard him string out one profanity after another.

Ah, you loved getting the upper hand.

* * *

 You...

You little _bitch!_

How **dare** you throw him like some kinda ragdoll!

The only person who ever threw him like that was—

Red paused and clenched his hands.

...was the Broker.

He sat down on the nearest chair and stared at the curtains of the dressing room.

You were clearly someone important to the Broker. Why else would they send him and his brother to save your sorry ass?

Red felt an ache in his heart. “T-tha hell was that?”

As much as he hated it, he had to go get a check-up from his brother to find out why his chest felt so wounded lately.

Speaking of which...

You were taking your sweet ass time— which was something they didn't have.

“Hey you done yet— “

He watched you step out from behind the curtains and gaped.

God. _**Damn.**_

Red felt his eyes roam your body. The dress revealed just enough to leave onlookers wanting more, and the outfit hugged your curves so perfectly he hated it.

“Seeing as though you can't keep that jaw up means I chose the right dress,” you said, closing his mouth for him.

He let you speak to the shop owner as he tried to regain his thoughts.

It didn't matter if you were important to the Shadow Broker or not.

If you kept dressing up like that, he was gonna have to take you home himself.

* * *

 Surprisingly enough, your outing with Red was pretty fun. He brought you to a number of bars, each with their own special themes.

You even met a few of his friends: One was a fish lady named Undyne and the other was a dinosaur named Alphys.

After having some drinks with the cute but feisty couple, Red led you to a club named “MTT Showdown”. Apparently there was a special appearance of a multi-armed robot so the club was filled to the brim.

This meant that you were constantly being squished into Red. Despite your disgruntled disposition, the angsty meatball looked like he was having the time of his life.

You couldn't take that away from him, so you let him have his fun.

Hell, you were even (slightly) charmed to see him kick the butt of anyone who dared approach you.

The hours rolled on by and you looped your arm through Red's to a fancy American restaurant.

“This place is famous for their BBQ,” he smiled. “Thought you'd like to _meat_ them.”

You felt him freeze but you laughed. “Guess you could say not coming here would have been a giant _missed steak_.”

He stopped walking so you looked down. “O-oh come on. My joke wasn't that bad. ”

He wrapped his arm around your waist and returned to his sharp-toothed smile. “Nah, t'was perfect doll. Didn't mean to get all up in yer _grill_.”

You snorted as you two approached the receptionist. “Hello, Mr. Red and guest I presume?”

He nodded and a waiter led you to a table with a tall skeleton staring at you and Red.

Boss gave you a stiff grin as you both sat down. “I see you and the human have settled your differences, Red.”

The stubby skeleton shrugged in response and picked up the menu. As if Boss didn't just give his brother the stink eye, he turned to you and gave you a soft smile.

“It's also nice to see you look so very alluring, human.” He gave a sideways look to Red. “Very nice to know that my brother isn't a _complete_ failure.”

Swearing that the sparks at the table were attracting looks from other tables, you grab both their attention by waving in a waiter.

You exchanged a few words with Boss and Red before you were given your drinks.

“So how was my territory, human?” said the tall one while sipping on a bright red liquid. You could only guess that was it either wine or something else expensive.

You gave an honest smile. “It was lovely, Boss. I haven't really explored this area and I'm sad that I hadn't sooner. It was really fun.”

“O-of course it is! It _is_ all under my jurisdiction after all!” he laughed, slowly turning redder.

You heard Red let out a 'pfft' sound.

“Dunno what you mean Boss— all you do is spend your time underground in that hell hole you call a dungeon.” He took a sip from a container that looked like mustard sauce. “And if you weren't torturin' you were actin' like a mom, cleanin' and cookin' like yer some sorta mai—”

Red shut up when Boss shot him his notorious scowl of doom.

Jeez... You knew these two had a strained relationship, but this is getting ridiculous.

You decided to change the subject. “What did you two get for your meals?”

Boss gave an arrogant huff and patted his chest. “I, of course, ordered their finest, prime steak. As much as I hate the grease floating in the atmosphere, I must confess that their choice in meats... is adequate.”

“Self-centered bastard...” grumbled the smaller skeleton.

The taller one's head sharply turned to him. “What was that?”

“I said I ordered a hamburger. Don't knock it 'til you try it Boss.”

“Both of your dinners sound very delicious,” you sighed. “I'm beginning to have second thoughts on mine.”

“Hm? What did you order, human?”

You were about to reply but a waiter came in with three plates in his hands. He placed down a _very_ exquisite-looking steak in front of Boss, a hamburger that had a million and one things stacked in it for Red, and you...

“Y-you got _ribs_?” stuttered Red. You turned to him and pointed to mustard being squished out of the condiment bottle because he was gripping it so tightly.

“Yup. Ribs are one of my favorite things to eat.” You placed the white napkin around your neck to create a makeshift bib. “I do hope it was okay to get some.”

“Uh... Of course human! Y-You may get whatever you wish!” sputtered Boss. You took his action of avoiding your eyes as signal to begin eating.

Half-way through the meal, you felt a small vibration from the table. You look up at Boss and Red to see them as rosy as the wine the taller one was drinking.

You thought maybe it's because they were a bit drunk from their beverages. Boss kept ordering more wine glasses until he said ‘eff it’ and ordered an entire bottle.

Meanwhile, Red abandoned his mustard drinks and began ordering one glass of alcohol after another.

You decided not to say anything until you swore the bottom of the table was glowing red.

You were about to bend down and see what was happening before both of the skeletons yelled, _**“DON'T!”**_

You quickly raise your head to see the brothers reaching out for you. If they were red before, the colors of their faces were multiplied a thousand times.

Boss sat back down, ignoring his brother's amused look. “D-don't you know it's rude to look beneath the table at an establishment like this?”

“Oh! S-sorry about that.” You sat straight up and continued eating. But now, Boss looked even more anxious while Red was grinning like the stupid idiot that he was.

O...kay?

* * *

The three of you finished your meals and stepped outside to head home. Being so late at night, you began to feel chilly.

“Here, human. I am perfectly comfortable with the temperature since I am so powerful!” He said, offering you the coat of his tuxedo.

You tried to contain your giggle as a gust of wind made him shiver a little. “Are you sure Boss?”

Instead of replying, he threw his tunic over you. Your heart became as warm as your body when Red did the same thing.

You turned to the smaller skeleton to ask him if he was cold. He shrugged and gave you a toothy grin. “Nah, tha cold goes right through me.”

“ _RED!”_

You chuckled as Boss was _trying_ to lecture his brother, but was failing because Red kept throwing puns at him. It took you three about 15 minutes to walk back to their house and you saw a figure standing by the door.

“God damn it Sans! I _know_ I can break in, but no one's there! Are you sure this is the right place!?”

Bypassing the skeletons who acted like a fence, you walked up closer to the figure.

“...Orange?”

He spun around, wielding his phone like a weapon, but dropped it when he saw you and ran towards you.

You held out a hand to stop the skeletons behind you from charging in.

He held you, and picked you up in a crushing hug. You ignored the fact that he was crushing the cast on your arm, and instead reveled in how relieved he looked. He put you back down but didn't let you go.

“Leliana, oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for not picking up.”

You smiled and gave him a small kiss on his cheekbone, making him jump in surprise. “No worries Orange, what's done is done.”

“Uh... Y-yeah.” He let go of you when he noticed that you were wearing two jackets and had one hand stopping two skeletons behind you.

He flushed orange when it looked like he remembered something. In fact, he was about to ask you something until he noticed something white on your arm from beneath the jackets.

He nearly tore off both articles of clothing to reveal your beautiful dress— and your arm wrapped in a cast.

You saw a bright flash of orange and heard a sickening _crack_.

You turned around to see Boss crossing his arms and Red wielding a giant bone like a baseball bat. In the corner of your eye, you saw an enormous orange bone embedded into a wall.

Orange pushed you behind him and you heard a chuckle devoid of happiness. “You know, Boss...”

He summoned two bones, one in each hand.

“I always thought you were a pretty cool guy...You know, with all that power and all...”

He spun the bones like a windmill.

_"But I guess I was wrong."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Confrontation! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))  
> Also, apologies if I didn't respond to your comments. It's not because I'm ignoring you, NO NO.  
> I DO read each and every one, each bringing a brighter smile to my day~♫  
> They're actually my motivations to continue to the story! I just get a little overwhelmed when responding. ;w;  
> Please, continue leaving them! You guys are the greatest ♥


	11. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight-o!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fanart~  
> A Broker Imagination:  
> http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/142034632529/the-girl-made-out-of-fandoms-i-finally-did-it
> 
> Okay, so heads up: I can NOT write action scenes for my life.  
> You have been warned.

You tried to yell for Orange to stop but he teleported behind the brothers and slammed his weapons down.

Red deflected the blow and side stepped to let Boss kick him back. You flinched when you heard a loud crunch from Orange's chest area.

You had to stop them before this gets any worse!

“Orange! Stop! Boss didn't do anything! I— ” Your words were cut off when a hand covered your mouth and you flailed when you were pulled back.

“woah there kid. it's okay, it's me.”

Staring with disbelief, you pulled his hand from your mouth. “What the hell are _you_ doing here Sans!?”

He gave you a small smile. “did you really think i was gonna miss the show?”

“Unbelievable!” You tried stepping towards the fight but he pulled you back.

“you're gonna get yourself killed if you go in there, kid.”

He laughed when you were about to yell at him. “do you seriously think he’s in the right mind to listen to an explanation?”

You paused and turned to the battle.

Even though it was two against one, Orange was easily dodging Red’s bashes while focusing on Boss as his main target.

With his left eye eerily glowing orange, he summoned two more bones mid-air to drop onto Boss while blocking Red with his original two.

“Well what the hell do you suppose I do then!?”

You took a step back when an evil grin crept on his face. “you just gotta scream out something else.”

* * *

Orange aimed for the taller skeleton’s head with a down slash but abandoned it to avoid a thrust from his sharp-as-hell weapon.

He knew that this was all one big misunderstanding.

He knew that you were in a relationship (or at least slept) with Boss.

He knew that the tall skeleton wasn’t the one who injured you.

But he didn’t care.

He wanted an excuse to bash his face in.

“God damn it! Let. Me. Hit you!” He yelled, spin kicking Red’s strike away.

He ground his teeth. He shouldn’t be feeling this way.

For years and years it had only been him and his younger brother.

Before becoming the CEO of a famous corporation, they were nothing more than common street rats.

Orange laughed when he parried a punch from Boss and angled it to smack Red away.

He spent every waking moment of his _life_ making sure Blue was fed and happy. Whenever his brother was asleep or out of the house, Orange roamed the streets to gather as much money as he could- forsaking his own health for his younger brother.

He winced when Boss managed to block a hit and then knee him in the sternum.

It wasn’t until ten years ago when he was caught breaking into a safe house belonging to the Shadow Broker. In exchange for his unquestionable servitude, not only was he given freedom, he and his brother were also promised a seat in the high life.

How could he say no to that?

Sure enough, life was as easy and calming as a stroll in a park.

Orange tripped a charging Red, and swung him towards Boss like a giant wrecking ball, knocking both of them down when the tall skeleton tried to catch his flying brother.

But ever since you came in his life, he’s been a complete mess. Sure he may have hated you more than anything at first, but something about you keeps lingering in his mind.

He fell back and barely dodged a slash from Boss when Red jumped up and tried to headbutt him.

He wouldn’t say he… _loves_ you, but he will say that he may care for you just as much as he cared for his brother. To the point of blaming himself for your injuries.

Orange summoned different sized bones from the ground to use as steps. Now’s not the time to think about such things— he had to slam his bones in someone’s face.

On around the 2nd step up, he saw you carry what looked like some kind of wolf-shaped item to your mouth. On 3rd step, he saw you breathe in. On the 4th step, you screamed.

“ **I FUCKED SANS LAST NIGHT!!!”**

Boss and Red froze as Orange fell on his ass. They all turned at the blushing human who had a short skeleton dying of laughter beside her.

“ _ **WHAT THE HELL!?”**_

* * *

 

Oh god… Did you really just say it?

“w-well you got their attention kid,” breathed a chortling monster next to you. “might wanna say something now.”

Deciding not to bash the megaphone he gave you into his thick skull, you began walking to the confused skeletons.

“Orange, this was all one big mistake!” You said. “Boss had nothing to do with these injuries, in fact he healed me!”

You watch the tall, mentioned skeleton stand up with an arrogant huff while his brother tossed his bone around like a toy. Orange, on the other hand, stayed sitting down and continued to stare at you with disbelief.

“Please, Orange. Back away from the both of them and come over here.”

You saw him slowly get up, making the other two skeletons jump back with weapons in their hands. However, he swiped his right hand to the side, causing all the orange bones in the area to evaporate in a magical mist.

Red dropped the blunt weapon he carried, but Boss still held a bone which was as sharp as a sword tightly in his hands. Both of them watch Orange shuffle towards you and place his head in your shoulders.

You look to the edgy brothers and nodded. Both of them made their equipment disappeared and walked into the house, dragging Sans by his clothes behind them.

Turning your attention back to the now laid-back skeleton, you pat his back in comfort.

“Those injuries… What _really_ happened?” he mumbled into your shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly to him. “That doesn’t look like _nothing much_ to me.”

Oh boy, here we go.

“I… I was walking back to my car and I noticed a bunch of people were following me,” you sighed. “Being the idiot that I was, I thought I could lose them if I took a detour through an alleyway.”

You cringed as he gripped you even tighter. “Why do you suppose they were following you? Was your identity found out?”

“I don’t know,” you said, shaking your head. “We _did_ bring back one of those people from the group, and I’m guessing that Boss threw him in his dungeon.”

You felt that his hold loosened a little, so you slipped out of his grip. You held him by his sleeve and tugged. “Come on let’s go inside, Orange. It’s getting cold out here.”

Taking a few steps towards the house, it was all for naught when he pulled you back into his arms. “Orange? What else is the matter?”

“I’m sorry.” You were about to yell at him, but he muffled you when he squeezed you into his chest.

“I know, I know. You’re gonna say it’s not my fault. But I was the one who didn’t pick up,” he muttered. “ Here you were, getting in trouble while _I_ was lounging on a couch with a freakin’ bottle of honey in my hand.”

You gripped his shirt and chuckled. “Well at least one of us had a pretty _sweet_ time.”

He pushed you away at arm’s length and stared at you with an indescribable look on his face.

“O-okay that was in bad taste, my bad—”

Orange pulled you into him and you felt something clank on your lips.

Was he--

You felt something warm trying to push through your lips. Gasping in surprise allowed it entrance and you melted as the heated, slippery muscle entered your mouth. The taste was sublime— it was just like a sweet piece of candy you’ve had when you were younger.

But the way the tongue-like appendage danced…

You felt your legs weaken, causing you to fall. Orange caught you and stared into your eyes, cheeks slightly glowing.

“That joke wasn’t too bad.”

He laughed when you tried to stand up but fell again while stuttering. He picked you up in a princess carry and he walked over to the house entrance.

A few feet from the door, he kissed your forehead. “I may be sorry for a lot of things that happened to you,” he smiled. “But I’m _never_ going to be sorry for that.”

* * *

Red watched what was happening through a second floor window.

Oh _now_ he got it.

The damned smoker had the sweets for you— and by the looks of it, he had it pretty bad.

He laughed when your legs failed you but felt something irritating digging through his soul when he saw you getting picked up.

According to what his brother said, he shouldn’t pay attention to the pain in his chest. In fact, he specifically told him to completely ignore any feeling he felt in his heart.

“It makes you weak. Never listen to it.” He said, strictly.

But why wouldn’t he?

Sure he might feel horrible once in a while, but it felt like he was flying whenever he made you smile. Why _wouldn’t_ he want to feel like that?

His soul dropped a little when he saw Orange give your forehead a small love-tap.

If there was any indication of the damned skeleton’s feelings for you, the look in his eyes was enough.

And it was irritating Red.

Grabbing a mustard bottle, he opened the window and waited for the tall one to try to kiss you again. Aiming as if his life depended on it, he chucked the bottle straight at his head, causing the kiss to turn into painful-looking neck bend.

He chuckled when he caught Orange’s angry line of sight.

That’s right fucker.

_This means war._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well Silly Orange~  
> On the downside, school’s starting up and I may or may not have been slacking in my homework. ((hehe))  
> I’ll see you guys next week <3


	12. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff goes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are seriously spoiling me with all these fanart<3
> 
> B&O's Canary Corporations:  
> http://obliviaong.tumblr.com/post/142281491038/so-this-is-dedicated-to-one-of-the-best
> 
> I'm not even supposed write this week... Oh well~♫  
> I've got a number of questions and comments in regards to Elona.  
> Welp, here you go. C:

It was late into the night and you were still up. Sighing, you laid down on the soft, black bed you were currently at, and thought about the past hours.

The moment Orange opened the door, you were lifted out of his arms and found yourself in the hands of Red. Feeling the angry spark between them, you guessed that the flying bottle that smacked the tall skeleton's head was his doing.

They began arguing but you were too tired to care for what they were saying. Looking over the stubby skeleton's shoulder, you saw Boss and Sans eyeing you with various emotions on their faces. A few you figured out were annoyance, despondency, and... envy?

When they caught you watching them, Sans gave you a lazy smile while Boss turned away and walked upstairs to his room. You felt your body glow blue and the arguing skeletons next to you stopped their fighting to watch you float up then settle on your feet.

You caught a blue skeleton's line of sight and thanked him— that must be his famous “levitation” magic. Sans winked at you before saying something about reading his brother a bed time story then teleporting away. Orange, albeit reluctantly, also left when his brother called him on his phone asking where he was this late at night.

This left you with a rather happy Red until Boss came downstairs and said that even though you _looked_ physically able, it's best not to risk it and should rest for one more day.

He was also the reason why rather on the couch, you are now laying on his bed.

You reached out a hand to grab one of your phones. It was 3 in the freaking morning.

Ugh.

Getting off the bed, you looked closer to your surroundings. The room screamed dark royalty with everything either black or red. Sure you were happy with the décor -and how nice the velvet rug felt under your feet – but what kind of person has no windows in their bedroom?

...Well with the tall skeleton's personality and title, you _guess_ it was understandable.

Still, you wanted to get some fresh air so you stepped outside. You weren't expecting anyone up this late, so you were shocked to see Red staring blankly over the balcony.

Hearing your footsteps he spun around, left eye burning, but calmed down when he saw you.

“What're _you_ doin' up, doll?”

You gave a tired smile and walked over beside him. “Can't sleep,” you said. “I wanted to get a breather but apparently your brother dislikes windows.”

 

* * *

 

He gave an irritated huff while eying you in your outfit. Being as though the only pair of clothes you owned was a torn outfit and an evening dress, his brother had to toss you some pajamas for the night.

Even though the shirt was hanging off your shoulder like a giant dress and your pajama pants were folded roughly ten times, he was amazed to say you looked both ravishing _and_ adorable _._

Wait, you wanted fresh air. An idea struck him harder than his brother ever did.

“Hey, I know a place you can get a breather,” he grinned, wrapping his hands around your waist. “Cover your eyes.”

God damn, you had a nice figure. The moment you closed your eyes, Red teleported to his bed.

“Okay, you can open them now.”

He had to laugh when you stared at his bunk dubiously.

“This is the complete _opposite_ of getting fresh air, Red.” You grumbled.

He pointed to the window next to his desk. “Nah, I wasn’t lying. I got a window right by the desk—”

Wait.

His desk.

**OH SHIT!**

Before he could take back what he said, you were already running up to the table, gripping the only item on it like a lifeline.

“Red…” you growled, holding the helmet to your chest. “ _Where did you get this?_ ”

Aw come on now… Don’t look at him like that.

“When you got yourself poisoned an’ all, Boss didn’t know what the venom was so he told me to get some stuff for ‘im.” He scratched his skull. “Long story short, I ended up at tha Broker’s place and everythin’ was trashed.”

Explanations weren’t his strong point— there was a reason he’d rather head-butt everything.

He flinched when your gaze turned menacing. “And where did you find this helmet?”

Huh… So you _were_ the Broker’s secret lover.

“…It was on a pile of dust—”

He froze when you dashed towards him and gripped his collar. “Take me there, Red.”

 

* * *

 

You didn’t care how much you scared Red. You had to go back to your base, ignoring the fact that the attackers might still be there. How could you let it slip your mind that something happened to Elona!?

“Come on, doll,” he said, patting your hand on his shirt. “I-It ain’t safe to go there now. We’ll go there tomorrow.”

You slammed him towards the wall, locking him in place. “Red. Bring me there _now_.”

You couldn’t even decipher what was on his face. Anger with a mix of lust and fear? Was there even a word for that?

“Listen, _doll_ ,” he said, letting go of his sharp grin and turning it into a snarl. “We’ll head there with Boss when he’s up.”

You shook your head. It’s been days since you’ve been out. Who knows what clues still remained at the scene? “God damn it Red…” you pleaded. “ _Please_.”

He stayed quiet for a bit so you thought maybe you went too far and maybe he was right. Maybe it _was_ better to wait and go there safely. However, when you looked at his face, it was glowing brighter than a stoplight.

“W-well…” he lulled, breathing a bit heavily. “Maybe if you ask a bit nicer…”

Uh...

You took your hands back and kneeled in front of him. “Red… Please let me—”

He covered your eyes the moment something red was erupting from him. “ _ **OKAY.**_ THAS ENOUGH. DON’T OPEN YOUR EYES.”

You nod and close your eyes, letting a familiar nauseated feeling overtake you. “You can open yer eyes now, doll.”

You opened your eyes to see him turned around sitting (whilst glowing) very, _very_ far away. You were going to ask why but your voice got caught in your throat when you saw the surrounding area.

The floor was dry with blood, expensive computers littered the ground like trash, and your favorite table was split in half life a twig.

Running over to the desk, you spied dust scattered behind it. You felt tears fighting to come out.

“Elona…” you whispered, bending down to the dust, gripping the helmet to your heart.

You weren’t sure how long you were in that position but you figured it had been for quite some time if Red had to tap on your shoulder. “C’mon doll, time to go back.”

You shook your head. “I have things to do here, Red. Leave me.”

He grabbed your shoulder and turned you towards him. “Don’t be like that. Ya know Boss’ll kill me if I just _left_ you here.”

You laughed, startling him.

“Boss will understand, Red.” You placed on your Shadow Broker personality and pierced him with a glare. “ _ **Leave.”**_

You felt a tinge of regret when he flinched in response— but you had to see if the assailants left any evidence. He slowly nodded before disappearing from your sight.

Whoever decided to attack your family was sure to regret ever being born.

 

* * *

 

You spent a few good minutes in the general vicinity of the desk before you found a little cassette tape under pieces of the broken desk. You bit your lip when you saw that the tape had a label that said “For the Shadow Broker”.

Ripping a piece of the long pajama pants off, you used the cloth as a makeshift glove to pick up the tape. Maybe whoever left this here also left fingerprints on it.

You made your way towards the secret door in a wall and noticed that someone certainly _tried_ to break through. You chuckled when you swiped at the wall in a star-like motion and entered a few digits when a number pad appeared. “I guess it was a good thing I had Elona implement these walls,” you smiled.

Making sure the door was locked, you made your way over to a tiny TV in the corner of the living room. Dusting off a VCR machine, you turned it on and popped it the tape. You squinted as the screen was covered with scattered static. A few seconds later, you felt your breath hitch to what was shown.

It looked like the video was recorded through an outdated camera. The room shown on the screen was dark, gloomy, and the only light source was a swinging light bulb above a _very_ familiar figure on a chair. Wearing a brown potato sack on their head, you could tell they tried to fight back the way they were chained to the chair.

You heard a distorted voice behind the camera.

"You have one week, Shadow Broker. Reveal yourself and she will be returned to you. Do not even _try_ to find me, for every day you stall, **_she_ ** will be punished."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I heard you guys like cliff hangers.  
> [[enter angelic smile here]]
> 
> Come say hello at [bittersweetorange.tumblr.com](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/)  
> ~♥


	13. Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hrm... What's should your next course of action be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SQUEEAAAAAAL! ((Translation: OMFGFANART))  
> SOMEONE DREW RED ♥  
> http://wesinningflowers.tumblr.com/post/142437098929/bittersweetorange-wesinningflowers-yo
> 
> You guys didn't think I'd leave you hanging for that long, did ya? C;  
> ((Oh who am I kidding. I'm sadistic. I would.))

You slumped down on the couch while staring at the blank TV screen.

How _dare_ they try to use Elona like some kind of blackmail material. You were the Shadow Broker for God's sake — finding things out was second nature to you.

Still... They were pretty good if they managed to slip under your nose long enough to actually strike.

You sat up when you started hearing a clicking noise from the TV. "What the heck?"

Inching closer, you managed to pinpoint the sound coming from the VCR machine. Immediately afterwards, the sound of whirring began echoing through the room.

Crap! Was the tape erasing itself!?

You reached for the eject button but paused when you smelled something burning. OH SHI—

You jump behind the couch right before an explosion roared throughout your home. With flames licking the top of your head, you peeked over the side of the couch to see the damage. The TV no longer sat at its place, but rather scattered its pieces all over the area and the decorations near the TV were alive with fire.

Wait! The majority of your files were at the coffee table by the TV!

You couldn't believe you were saying this, but you were _glad_ Elona was quite inadequate in the cooking department. Half the time she touched the stove, the kitchen would burst into flames so you decided to leave the fire extinguisher there.

Grabbing the device, you unleashed the coolant on the raging flames. You also forgot that you still had a broken arm, cringing as the blast from the fire extinguisher nearly sent your weak arm flying.

You sighed, staring at the white mess and the broken VCR device in the other side of the room.

This night can't get any worse than this... right?

Not only did half of your paper files just disappear up into smoke (quite literally), you couldn't study the video tape anymore. That left you to actually go out and _physically_ search for Elona using your memory.

How long have you been asleep? If you remember correctly, it's been at _least_ 3 days and that today must be the fourth day. If the video said you had a week before you lose your only family member, that left you with ... **JUST 3 DAYS.**

Your heart sunk at the time restraint. How could you leave the poor little tree to suffer for so long? You had to save her!

...However, before you could do that, you had to leave this place.

As much as you hated leaving your home of 3 years, you needed a spot safe enough to begin your search... But where—

You jumped, eyeing the phone in your pocket. OF COURSE!

* * *

Sans closed the book and sighed back into the chair he sat on. Paps was really hard to put into bed today. Maybe it was because he was going back into office in about a few weeks, but still.

He stared at his brother's bed and put his head on the blanket. Today... was interesting.

When Sans was called by a raging Range, he couldn't keep in the surge of laughter. He _had_ to see the fight. Teleporting over and watching you scream out his name became his new guilty pleasure.

He grabbed the sides of his head and pushed further into the blanket. "oh my god. i am **not** red."

The blue haze emitting from his face died down when he remembered the aftermath of the fight. It was pretty clear that Range was no longer afraid to tell you how he felt. That left Sans with a jealous emotion in his soul when he saw you being carried by him.

The begrudging emotion intensified when his best friend took your lips.

Thankfully, the envious feeling quickly turned into annoyance when he watched Red carry you instead.

What he _didn't_ expect was to actually pick you up with his magic and place you down. He NEVER messed with the soul of another living being except when either killing them or...

Sans could barely hold in his screaming. Oh god, he had to get out of here before he woke up Paps—

He jumped when his little brother's phone started ringing from beside his head.

Oh wonderful. Now he had to re-read that story for him.

He watched his brother groggily sit up and answer the phone. "Nyehhhhllo? The Great Papyrus here..."

The small skeleton snickered. He always loved seeing his brother so groggy because his usual sense of volume was actually like a regular person's.

He sat up when the stature of the tall skeleton went rigid. "...HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT HUMAN?"

Sans motioned a few hand signals towards his brother, trying to ask him who it was. Paps answered with single letters, one at a time.

**S-H-A-D-O-W-B-R-O-K-E-R**

"what the heck are they calling for this late at night?" he grumbled.

"OKAY THEN. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO ERASE HER OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!"

Sans jumped in his chair. Woah, woah. Wait what? His brother didn't kill people. That was _his_ job.

"NYEHEHEHE! OF COURSE I AM!" laughed the taller skeleton. "I COULD DO IT RIGHT AWAY! I'LL HAVE SANS PICK HER UP! WHERE IS SHE?"

Sans got off his chair and threw his brother a sorry look. Of course Paps didn't kill people, he _hid_ them. But who was this girl they were hiding this time?

"OKAY! SENDING HIM NOW!" Paps turned to him and gave him a bright smile. "SANS! I NEED YOU TO PICK UP THE LELIANA-HUMAN IN THE BROKER'S BASE!"

Sans turned around to teleport but froze when his thoughts caught up to him. "wait a sec," he turned around. "what relationship does the kid have with the broker?"

Papyrus shrugged, got off the bed, and walked over to a closet. "I WAS TOLD THAT THEY WERE FRIENDS!" He swung open the closet door. "GO PICK HER UP IMMEDIATELY!"

Huh. So not only did you know Boss, but you were also buddies with the most infamous information broker in the city. When he said everyone had secrets, he didn't know you had some that were _that_ large.

Throwing his slippers behind his back, he put on a pair of boots and teleported to the target area. Now... Where was—

What. The. **HELL!?**

Sans began running around the office, surveying the damage in the area.

He knew that the Broker wasn't responding to any calls, but he thought that maybe it was because they were flooded with requests due to the influx of crime in the city.

The last time he came here was during the annual meeting about a week ago! Seeing as though the Shadow Broker managed to call his brother, then _maybe_ they were safe in another hide out.

But wait. What was the  _kid_ doing here?

He hoped that he didn't just partake in the largest love triangle (square with Red? Pentagon if you count the Broker? Is Boss included? Dear god how many people had feelings for you?) of the year with the most dangerous person on earth.

"who _**are**_ you, kid..." he whispered.

* * *

You tapped your foot as the phone rang and smiled when you heard a click. _"Nyehhhhllo? The Great Papyrus here..."_

Aw... You immediately felt bad for waking up the poor cinnamon roll. "Paps, it's me. I need you to hide someone named Leliana."

You heard the skeleton wake up when he asked you how you knew her.  "I can't answer that but she's... a personal friend of mine. Paps, please."

 _"...OKAY THEN!"_ You fist pumped in glee. _"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO ERASE HER OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!"_

"That sounds a bit menacing Paps," you chuckled. "But thank you. You're the greatest."

A genuine smile floated onto your face when you heard his trademark laugh. "How soon can you do it?"

_"I COULD DO IT RIGHT AWAY! I'LL HAVE SANS PICK HER UP! WHERE IS SHE?"_

"Oh uh... tell him to pick her up at my office. Just make sure—"

_"OKAY! SENDING HIM NOW!"_

"—to tell him that the base has been compromised."

Well shit.

You rushed to your bedroom to grab a briefcase and pushed a change of clothes into the bag. Afterwards, you ran into the living room to squeeze as much files as you could into the case.

Making sure that everything was turned off, you took one last look at your "apartment" and sighed. You were going to miss the peaceful days here.

You unlocked the door and peeked through the crack, eyeing a tiny skeleton running back and forth in the other side of the room. You stepped out as quietly as possible and thanked the gods for allowing the walls to silently return to their hidden status.

Immediately after taking a step towards the skeleton, he spun around, left eye eerily glowing in the darkness of the room. You blinked to see him in front of you.

"holy shit, kid. you scared me." he said, sighing into your chest. You smiled and softly pet the top of his head.

He looked up at you with a slight blue tinge on his face.

Whoops, were you not supposed to do that?

"i should be asking how the heck you know everyone you're _not_ supposed to know... but hey, paps' is waitin' for you." He smiled and grabbed hold of your waist. "remember the deal with movin' between places, kid."

You nod and closed your eyes, swearing the grip on your waist was tighter than before but ignored it.

* * *

Opening your eyes, you saw a tall skeleton dressed in a white tuxedo suspiciously staring at the shorter one before grinning brightly at you.

Wait a second... Paps didn't sleep in that, did he?

"HELLO HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE TASK OF HIDING YOU FROM EVERYONE" He posed dramatically. "AND WHAT BETTER PLACE TO HIDE SOMEONE THAN IN YOUR OWN HOUSE!"

"What?" you gaped, as did Sans. You glanced at the smaller skeleton to see the lights of his pupils gone.

As much as you loved Paps, you couldn't search for Elona while you were at his **house.**

You had to reason with him. "Uh... I don't think that would be a very good idea."

You had to keep in a giggle to see Sans furiously nod with you. "yeah paps. i think we should hide her somewhere else."

"NONSENSE!" Beamed the taller skeleton. "IT HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BEST IDEAS I'VE EVER THOUGHT OF, AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE THOUGHT OF A LOT OF GREAT IDEAS!"

Sans walked up to his brother, face showing frustration whilst slowly glowing blue . "paps, please. can we just use your usual methods? throw her in a bunker or something?"

"Hey! Don't treat me like an object!"

He nodded you an apology as Paps bore a skeptical look through the smaller skeleton. "NO SANS, THE HUMAN IS MY FRIEND THEREFORE WE MUST HIDE THEM AT THE BEST POSSIBLE PLACE: OUR HOUSE!"

Oh god, you can't change his mind.

"I SEE YOU ALREADY PREPARED FOR OUR SLEEPOVER, HUMAN!" He laughed. "WOWIE! YOU MUST REALLY HAVE WANTED TO STAY WITH US FOR A WHILE NOW!"

You gaped as Sans tried to explain how bad of an idea this was. Ignoring his brother, Paps laughed as he posed for a non-existent camera.

"YOU MAY SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOR THE LENGTH OF YOUR STAY!" He gave a bright, glowing smile, further complimenting his slightly orange-tinged face. "I WON'T NEED ANOTHER STORY TO FALL ASLEEP, SANS. GOOD NIGHT BROTHER! GOOD NIGHT HUM- LELIANA!"

After the loud skeleton ran upstairs and slam the door behind him, you took a gander at the smaller skeleton to catch him with his head in his hands. "Uh... I guess I'm staying here."

You watch him peek through his hands, and noticed him pause then saw his face glow brighter than you've ever seen before. A small lull crept in your conversation before he let his hands fall down beside him.

"huh. when i asked to sleep over at your place last time, you said no." His regular smile became a lecherous grin. "never expected that you wanted to be boned so **badly** that _you'd_ be the one sleepin' at mine."

"Oh my _**GOD.**_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wait. Was that a cliffhanger as well?  
> Oops!  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	14. Shenanigans - Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The home of the classics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [BWAHAHAHAHA! SOMEONE DREW THE RESTAURANT SCENE WITH THE CRIMSON BROTHERS!](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/142960938124/best-scene-in-the-storyomfg-helpi-caint-stop)  
>  So I re-read the comments.  
> Ya’ll are theorists and I love it ♫♥♫

 

You stood around, jaw dropped at the circumstance thrown at you. Sure, their home might be safe, but how could you roam around without letting the brothers get suspicious?

While you were spacing out, Papyrus came back and gave you a blanket, pillow, and a hug before vanishing into his room once more. Sans also left when you threw the pillow at him when he winked, “wanna come with me?”

Soon enough, all the lights in the house became dark, and your only light source was the luminescent glow of the moon that was pouring through the window.

Making sure that no one was round you or in the upper balcony, you took out a phone to substitute as a flashlight, and opened your briefcase.

“Maps… Building Schematics… Deeds…” you sighed, reading through each file.

You knew nothing about the enemy yet they somehow knew you, or at least your Shadow Broker persona. Sifting through the files was getting you nowhere— you had to lay down what _you_ knew:

  1. The room depicted in the video was dark, damp, and not a place for such a sweet tree.

  2. . . .




Crap.

That was all you had.

The thought of scattering the papers in anger was tempting, but you really didn’t want to have the brothers questioning both your identity _and_ mentality.

You sigh, taking out your main phone. Perhaps there were a few favors you could cash in?

Before you could even take it out, the device started buzzing from a call. You raised an eyebrow when you checked that it was from an unknown caller.

You were sure you blocked every number on your phone except for the bone brothers and Elona. “Hello?”

“Ma…am…”

“Elona!” You nearly shouted. “Oh my god. Are you alright? Are you safe?”

You jumped off the couch, scanning the room for a safe to speak since leaving the house would cause too much noise. All the doors were too creaky and heavy to move, so you wandered into the open kitchen, hoping the marble walls wouldn’t echo whatever you said.

 

* * *

 

“god damn it,” grumbled the small skeleton as he tossed and turned on the bed.

Not being able to sleep was the norm. Since he always had to watch his brother’s back, his sleep schedule had never been steady.

Normally, he would blame his insomnia, but this time, it was _your_ fault.

You were just downstairs. In pajamas. Probably spread out on the—

“aaaaagh!” he yelled into his pillow.

Sans shivered and crawled deeper into his comforter when a light breeze blew through his window.

Speaking of which, it was pretty chilly this time of the year. Was the blanket his brother gave you enough? He knew humans had a weaker tolerance to the temperature in comparison to monsters.

He still felt kinda bad for leaving you hanging when he was out drinking his problems away. “won’t do her any good if her wounds started aching from the temperature…” he grumbled.

Clawing out of the comfy prison, he trudged through his mess of a room towards his closet. He cursed when he opened the door and an instrument dropped from above and smacked him on the head. He gave the black box a dirty look, slid it to the side, and began digging through the cluttered space he called a closet.

Suits…Books…In—“why the hell do I have an inner tube in here?”

He should really stop procrastinating and do some spring cleaning… Yeah, he’ll do that later.

After a few more minutes of digging, Sans spied a tiny, tattered jacket peeking through his trashy belongings.

“huh…” he mumbled, picking up the clothing. “i thought i threw this thing away.”

He let the blue snow jacket dangle from his fingertips as memories slowly flooded his mind.

Sans was originally one of the leading researchers in the world of science. The pay wasn’t that great, but he was fascinated at how almost everything could be explained through a series of letters and numbers.

And then the economy crashed.

Papyrus was still in the middle of his education, on track to become a leader who could fix this dump of a city they called home. As much as Sans loved to question everything, his brother was important to him than his own life. This meant he needed money to support the naïve skeleton’s schooling.

Being as though they lived in a rather corrupted area, people were willing to pay to see their enemies vanish.

He chuckled, gripping the jacket harder.

_That was when he started killing for a living._

Huh… He threw the jacket back and forth between his hands.

How long has it been since his first assassination? 10? 15 years?

He still remembered the feeling of taking a life, but he stopped paying attention to the numbers by the time his brother reached college.

Now that he thought about it, it was around that time when he caught the Shadow Broker’s eye.

In exchange for a protected home and Paps’ route towards a seat in the government, Sans became the Broker’s secret knife.

God, was the Broker a _prick_ in the beginning. When they _didn’t_ have a stick up their ass, he was pretty sure they were beating people up with it.

It was only a couple of years ago when they finally became someone whom he liked spending time with. As a friend. **Nothing more.**

Their puns were okay. Their robotic laugh was alright. The way they moved their hands was—

The kid also talked a lot with their hands. Huh.

He must really gravitate towards people who are active.

Sans chuckled, blaming his brother for that. He threw the jacket back into the closet and dug through to finally find a clean-enough blanket.

Heaving the thick blanket over his shoulder, he stepped out of his room and looked over the railing to see the lack of humans on a couch.

He teleported downstairs, threw the blanket on the couch, and looked around until he heard a quiet, yet frantic voice in the kitchen.

Though your back was turned, it was pretty obvious that you were on the phone. But it was dead into the night.

With an apprehensive mind, he blended into the shadows to listen in.  
You weren’t actually someone out to ruin his brother.

You were a good kid with no skeletons in your closet.

He didn’t have to give you a bad time _…_ _ **right?**_

 

* * *

 

 

“Ma’am… I knocked out a guard and stole his phone so I have very little time before I’m caught.”

Your heart sunk at how breathless, raspy, and dry the once-active tree’s voice has become. “Where are you?”

“I’m still in the city because I would have recalled a plane trip. I think I’m in a storage house somewhere,” she whispered, as you heard footsteps echo through some kind of hall. “I think I also hear the sounds of ships and the ocean from here.”

You bit your lip in bittersweet joy at the information. “Okay okay… You must be at one of the ports then. Do you have any more info?”

You heard her breathe in before she paused.

“Elona?”

“Ma’am, please. Don’t come here, you _know_ it’s a trap and that they want to kill you.”

“What!?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Ma’am, _please._ I can escape by myself! You know me, I’m a techie!”

“No!” You yelled, cursing at how your voice echoed off the walls.

“Ma’am.” You shivered at her voice devoid of both joy and tiredness— just plain monotone. “It’s alright if they kill me. My life has been yours ever since you found me.”

No no **no!** She’ll die if she starts losing hope!

“You’re not some kind of disposable object!” you pleaded. “You’re important to me! You’re _family_ to me!”

You stood, breathless in anticipation of what she was going to say next.

“. . . Thank you, Ma’am.”

**beep**

“Hello?” You checked the phone screen to see that the call has been dropped. “God _**damn it!**_ ”

You grip the kitchen counter in hopes to keep yourself up. You can't lose her, she was more than your secretary, agent, _whatever_.  
She was your only source of joy for _**those**_ years.

“you okay there kid?”

You involuntarily jumped, ready to throw the phone at the person behind you.

“who there. It's just me.” said the skeleton, raising both his hands in defeat. “sounds like you're kinda in a pickle there, kid.”

Shit. He heard you didn't he...

“You were supposed to be sleeping, “ you sighed, forcing a tired smile. “Come for a midnight snack?”

His normal grin stiffened. “no use tryin' to change the subject kid. i heard _all_ of it.”

You stare at him skeptically. Was he bluffing?

“so who's 'elona'?” he asked, the lights in his eyes dimming a bit.

“My...”

 _What_ _ **could**_ _you say?_ Co-worker would make him question your career. Friend wouldn't work because you told Paps that 'Leliana' was the Shadow Broker's 'friend' as well.

As if sensing your internal struggle, he reached to put a hand on your shoulder. “it's fine kid. just tell me one thing.”

You felt a chill run down your spine as his left eye began radiating a blue flame. “you won't hurt _**my**_ family right?”

You smacked his hand off your shoulder in anger, causing him to teleport a few steps back in reflex. “I could never hurt Paps!” How could he even _think_ that you would hurt his brother!?

“sorry bout that,” he mumbled, the blue blaze dying out. The lights in his eyes, however, stayed dim. “sounds like you need some help.”

His teleporting skill would certainly help you travel from one storage house to another much faster than a car. You nod in response.

Sans smirked, his pupils glowing brighter. “what do i get if i _do_ help you, kid?”

“One favor for another huh?” you smiled. “I can pull a few favors from the Broker to get you some free stuff.”

His smirk dropped a little and he took a step back when you said the last part. “with that much hold on that person, it makes me wonder who you _really_ are, kid.”

A soft, genuine smile appeared on your face before it morphed into a naughty grin.

You walked over to him, tilted his head up to you with a finger, bent down, and whispered. _“I don't kiss and tell.”_

 

* * *

 

 

 **WHOA.** _**HOLD UP.** _

Sans felt his soul do back flips at your sultry voice.

“ho-holy,” he gulped, trying to calm down his stuttering. “holy shit kid. seriously?”

Were you seriously sleeping with the _**Broker**_?

He felt his whole face light up when he began imagining various scenarios inside that little office of the information broker.

“ _Pfft...”_

Wh—  
He stopped his train of thought when he heard you burst into laughter.

“O-Oh my god!” you guffawed. “You should have seen your **face!** ”

Oh you little... Two can play at that game.

With the dexterity of a cat, he took your hand and pulled you down to him. “well, lucky for you, _i_ can keep a secret then.”

Sans smirked when you began blushing in his arms. “N-nice. That's good to know.”

He held you even tighter when you tried to escape. Oh no, you're not getting out of this that easily.

“i _was_ coming down here to grab a meal, “ he said, staring at the fridge nearby. “wanna know what's on the menu?”

He watched you raise an eyebrow in question.

He tilted your head so you faced away from him as he wrapped your hair behind your ear, and let a malicious grin grow on his face.

“ _you,_ ” he whispered, lightly biting your ear.

“SANS!”

He jumped, dropping you on the ceramic flooring of the kitchen.

Oops.

“p-paps, what're _you_ doing up?”

Gods, please don't tell him that the tall skeleton just saw him do that.

“I THOUGHT I HEARD YELLING SO I CAME DOWN TO CHECK ON THE HUMAN!” Sans watched his brother strut over and raise you to your feet. “I NEVER WOULD HAVE EXPECTED MY LAZY BROTHER TO DO SOMETHING _BEFORE_ ME!”

“well—”

“Unless...” The tall skeleton went into a thinking pose before his metaphorical light bulb ‘dinged’. “WOWIEE IS THIS WHAT PEOPLE CALL A SECRET RENDEZVOUS?”

“wh- paps no! i was just—“

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WOULD BE HONORED TO MAKE THIS SECRET SLEEPOVER A MÉNAGE A TROIS!”

The smaller skeleton's jaw dropped before flailing like mad. “do you even know what that word **means**!?”

He took a quick glance to his side to see you redder than ever, but also laughing without a care in the world.

“WHY, **YES!** UNDYNE TOLD ME THAT IT'S A FUN SLEEPOVER WITH 3 PEOPLE!”

Oh my god. He was going to kill Undyne.

“i—“

“Well, he's not wrong!” you laughed.

“COME! LET US TAKE THIS TO MY ROOM!”

Sans nearly fell over in response. “papyrus **no!** ”

“PAPYRUS.” The tall skeleton boomed, grinning as if he won an award. _**“YES!”**_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Pappy, you silly cinnamon roll you (￣ω￣;)


	15. Shenanigans - Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy sleepovers \\(. w.)/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **I DID A THING!**  
>     
>    
> [OH MY GOD LOOK AT THESE DRAWINGS. LIKE AHHH ](http://thehashslingingslasherwastaken.tumblr.com/post/143644688683/hey-hey-read-this)  
> Someone wrote a story inspired by mine ♥  
> [Silver Hearts ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6657577) by [Lilac Fox](http://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacFox/pseuds/LilacFox)
> 
> ((Speaking of fanfics, you should totally check out [ The Smallest Sans ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6052072/chapters/13874842) by [ BitterSweetDeath ♥](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterSweetDeath/pseuds/BitterSweetDeath) ))

 

"Papyrus, I am _**not**_ taking your bed," you huff, crossing your arms.

"WHAT A SILLY IDEA, HUMAN!" smiled the tall skeleton. "YOU ARE MY GUEST IN THIS MÉNAGE A TROIS , SO ON THE BED YOU GO!"

You heard a loud smack from the smaller skeleton beside you.

"for the last time...paps that doesn't mean what you _think_ it means," grumbled the skeleton into his hands.

As if he never heard his brother, Paps walked over to his bedroom door and closed it— sealing the fates of the ones inside.

You turn to your side to see the tiny skeleton no longer there, but rather sneaking over to the door.

"SANS," said Paps as he walked over to his closet door. "I WILL BE _VERY_ DISAPPOINTED IF YOU DECIDE TO RUN AWAY."

He froze mid-step and gave a defeated shrug. "welp, i guess i'm sleepin' in here tonight."

Returning with a pair of spaghetti pajamas, Papyrus picked you up as if you weighed nothing and carried over to his bed.

"Dang Paps, at least buy me dinner first." you laughed.

You felt a chill run down your spine when Sans smiled at you with the lights in his eyes non-existent.

 _Don't say stuff like that around him please_ \- is what you felt he was saying.

"WHY WOULD I BUY YOU DINNER WHEN YOU COULD EAT MY FOOD INSTEAD?" he beamed, dropping you on the comfy, race car bed.

You felt a slight pain in your heart. This guy is too damn innocent.

He climbed over you, taking the space towards the wall. "I DO HOPE MY BED IS AS MAGNIFICENT AS I, HUMAN!"

"It's the comfiest I've been in a while," you smiled. "Thank you Paps."

"NYEHEHE! BUT OF COURSE! I'M ALWAYS THE GREATEST IN EVERYTHING!" he laughed, slowly glowing orange.

You turned to a shuffling sound behind you, watching sans lay down on the floor. "kay, goodnight folks."

You heard Paps give a small huff beside you. " . . . GET ON THE BED SANS."

He caught your line of sight and winked. " if I was the carpet, i'd wanna get laid."

You snorted when Paps made a confused sound.

Really Sans?

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT, BUT YOU'RE GETTING ON THIS BED!" Yelled the tall skeleton.

You sat up to allow him past you, but you collided with his arm the moment you rose up— causing him to land on your chest, and you making a rather _feminine_ sound.

Oh god. Did you just-

You covered your mouth as Paps front-flipped off the bed to apologize. "I'M SO SORRY HUMAN! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? I DIDN'T HURT YOU, DID I?"

You grabbed the blanket to cover your ever-glowing face. "I- I'm fine. I just-- "

"SANS, WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE THE ROOM?"

You put down the blanket to see an intense blue light glowing from underneath the bedroom door.

"nothing i-i thought i heard something," stuttered the muffled voice. "it's all clear now."

"WELL? WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING OUTSIDE? COME BACK IN!"

You heard a grunt and the rustling of clothes outside the door. Is he okay?

"i-i um... gotta **settle** somethi _-ngh-_ **down**." chuckled the small skeleton darkly. "go to bed paps."

Oh.

While Papyrus stood around confused, you groaned into the blanket. So that's why Boss and Red—

_"Ohhhhhh. . ."_

Once everything is all done and over with, you seriously needed to do more research on the skeletons as MONSTERS.

"HUMAN, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOUR FACE IS SO RED I CAN SEE IT IN THE DARK WITH MY MAGNIFICENT EYESIGHT."

While avoiding his line of sight, you stood up to pat his shoulder. "Let's just head to bed Paps."

You pulled him by his arm, pushed him on the bed, and laid down beside him. "GOOD NIGHT THEN HUMAN!"

"Sweet dreams~" you yawned. Hopefully you'll be able to forget that scene ever happened.

.

.

.

Your eyelids whipped open when the bed dipped at your side. You spun around face-to-face with a small skeleton in a rather wet t-shirt and black pajama pants.

"whoa, sorry about that kid. didn't mean to scare you." he said, as you scooted over to give him room.

You weren't supposed to say anything, but damned if you let this moment to get revenge pass.

"So..." you drawled, sleepily. "Did you _finish_ with whatever you were doing?"

You had to hold in your laughter when he froze with one knee on the bed. "w-well... i guess i did?"

"What'd you do to get like _that_?" you smiled, pointing to his shirt. Your grin increased when he flushed blue.

"uh..." he laid down, still facing you. "i went out for a run?"

"Sans, you never run," you chuckled. "What made you disappear in this ungodly hour?"

He looked like he was about to say another excuse before staring at you aghast, jaw dropped. "you know what i did... don't you."

Quiet laughter was your response.

You reached for the blanket to muffle your laughter, but sans pushed it away and pulled your face towards his. "if you really need something to cover your mouth, i can provide you with something _much_ better."

"W-whaaaa???" you stuttered.

"yeah, kid." he whispered, inching closer to you. "it's a much more ful- _filling_ piece of equipment."

Oh my god.

"S-sans quit it!" you whispered, torn between anger and embarrassment. "Your brother's right _there_."

"even better, " he chuckled darkly. "i've always wanted an audience."

" **HOLY FUCK!** " you yelled- causing him to smother you into his chest to quiet you.

"Nyehh...." grumbled the tall skeleton behind you.

You and sans held your breath as the tall skeleton rolled around for a bit, before settling down once more.

Both of you sighed, and you tried wiggling out of his grip, but he held you tighter the more you struggled. "dang kid, i knew you made some nice sounds, but you never told me that you were noisy in bed as well."

Oh my _goooooood._

You felt a chuckle rattle through his bones before you felt a pat on your head. "g'night kid."

You tried slipping out of his grip, only to find yourself having a choice between getting free or bumping into the tall cinnamon roll.

... At least it was comfy in the stubby skeleton's arms.

 

* * *

 

"Sans please . . . Just a little bit more."

He grinned, holding a pair of legs on his shoulders. "i gotchu ki—"

**smack**

"wha--"

Sans blinked a couple of times to find his younger brother's arm on his face. He gave a tired grin before looking down at what was being squished towards him.

His strained smile became brighter when you grumbled into his chest. He stroked your hair while his mind tried to stay away from his lecherous dream.

He wasn't supposed to be feeling this way.

Hell, he _saw_ his **BEST FRIEND** kiss you.

He sighed, before scooting down towards you.

"sorry range." he whispered, before bumping his teeth to your lips.

He unraveled his arms from you and was about to get up before _you_ wrapped your arms around him. "k-kid?"

Oh god he didn't do that while you were awake, did he?

He felt his soul jump when you inched towards his neck.

"Thank you for the food..." you mumbled, sleepily, before biting his neck.

_**NGH!?!?!?** _

He jumped, pushing you away from him, and fell off the bed.

 

* * *

 

You woke up with a shock, as did the skeleton who you found yourself pushed into.

You heard a small 'thunk' and both of you look off the bed to a blushing skeleton.

"Brother, are you alright?" asked the sleepy skeleton.

Sans grew a comically bright shade of blue when you made eye contact with him.

"yeah uh, i had a funny dream. " he said, covering his neck. "m-me and the kid have somewhere to go today so... gottagogetready."

He stood up, stumbled on his baggy pajamas, and, rather than teleport away, ran out the door.

You and Paps look at each other.

"THAT... WAS THE FASTEST I HAVE EVER SEEN MY BROTHER MOVE." You nod as you wipe a little saliva from your chin.

He didn't run away because you drooled on him right?

"GOODNESS ME! IT'S ALREADY 9 AM!" projected the skeleton. "EXCUSE ME HUMAN, WOULD YOU KINDLY LET ME PASS?"

You rolled off the bed to allow Paps to slide by and walk over to his closet.

"HUMAN," he said, opening the door. "DID YOU BRING YOUR OWN WEAR, OR WOULD YOU LIKE TO WEAR ONE OF MINE?"

You left a change of clothes in the briefcase downstairs, but you were curious of what the skeleton had. "Why do you have female clothes Paps?"

"OH! WELL, MY FRIEND UNDYNE SOMETIMES COMES OVER AND TRAINS WITH ME." he replied, taking off his shirt and putting it in the closet. "SHE USUALLY RIPS HER OUTFIT SO I ALWAYS END UP KEEPING SPARES WITH ME!"

You nod while staring at his bones.

He was so different yet similar to Boss' bone structure. While Boss' towards pointy and feminine, his was more defined and muscular.

"HU-LILEANA, DO MY BONES FASCINATE YOU?" he asked, spinning around with a gallant pose.

"You're amazing Paps," you laughed. "Humans have skeletons too, it's deep inside of us."

You watched him glow a quiet shade of orange.

"THAT... SOUNDS VERY LEWD, LILEANA." he exclaimed, avoiding your line of sight.

OH JESUS.

You felt _your_ blush climbing up your neck.

"I-I didn't mean to say it like that!" you stuttered. You jumped off the bed and walked towards him..

"Here, look!" you raised your hand towards him. "See how my knuckles protrude if I make a fist? That's the skeleton inside of me saying hello."

"WOWIEE!" he jumped, grabbing your hand. "I KNEW HUMANS DESCENDED FROM SKELETONS, BUT I NEVER KNEW YOU COULD SPEAK IT TOO."

What?

"CAN THE SKELETON SAY HELLO IN OTHER PLACES OF YOUR BODY?" he asked, eyes shining brightly.

You point to your wrist, elbow, then stretched the neck of your shirt to reveal your clavicle. "OOH! CAN I TOUCH THEM?"

"Um... Sure!" you smiled, eyebrow raised.

Stretching your arm up to him, you watched him feel your wrist and elbow. When he reached your clavicle, he stroked it with a touch lighter than a feather— causing you to giggle from the ticklish feeling.

"APOLOGIES LILEANA!" he smiled, making the touch a bit rougher. "SANS WOULD ALWAYS SAY TO NEVER TOUCH THIS PART OF A SKELETON UNLESS YOU DO IT LIGHTLY AND IN A BEDROOM!"

WH—

"H-hold on..." you bit your cheek to prevent yourself from laughing from embarrassment. "HE told you that?"

"WHY, YES!" he shouted, posing magnificently. "MY BROTHER MIGHT BE LAZY, BUT HE HAS TAUGHT ME LOTS OF THINGS!"

"Uh... Did he mention what those _things_ are used for?"

He stroked his metaphorical beard. "I VAGUELY RECALL HIM SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT MAKING THE OTHER PARTY FEELING BETTER."

You took a few steps away from the hyper skeleton. "I don't think it's a good idea to follow what your brother said."

"NONSENSE! OF COURSE I'D WANT MY GUEST TO FEEL THEIR BEST!" he laughed, looking ready to pounce you.

"OH GOD, WAIT PAPS!" you yelled, before getting pushed onto the carpet with him on top.

"Yes Lileana?" he whispered, sultry into your ear.

You felt your sins (as well as goosebumps) crawl on your your back.

**OH MY LORD. THIS SKELETON SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE QUIET.**

"PEOPLE ONLY DO THIS TO PEOPLE THEY LIKE!" you yelled, hoping the skeleton would get the hint.

You watched him tilt his head with a wide smile. "But I _do_ like you, Lileana!"

HOW NAIVE CAN AN ADULT MONSTER BE?

"...paps, what are you doing?"

You both look towards the door where a tiny skeleton was holding your briefcase in one hand, and a ketchup bottle in the other.

"I WANT TO MAKE THE HUMAN FEEL BETTER, SO I'M DOING WHAT YOU TOLD ME LONG TIME AGO!" replied the tall skeleton.

"hey uh... when i said it made the other person feel better, i didn't mean just anyone. people can really take advantage of you, paps."

You heard the tall skeleton pout as he got off and set you on your feet. "BUT THE HUMAN IS A FRIEND WHO WE JUST HAD A SLEEPOVER WITH!"

"yeah but that doesn't mean you got HER permission to do that kinda stuff with." You caught Sans' line of sight as he walked over to you two. "did you?"

You felt kind of bad when the hyper skeleton hung his head. "Aww, it's okay Paps. Come on, get dressed and we'll have breakfast downstairs okay?"

His happy demeanor returned full-force. "NYEHEHE! AND YOU CAN FINALLY TRY MY SPAGHETTI, HUMAN!"

As you and sans left his brother to his antics, he crept up to you and whispered, "besides, kid. wouldn't you rather have someone like _me_ do what paps was doing?"

**FOR FUCK'S SAKES SANS.**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dayum Sans, you thirsty.


	16. Saving . . .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makin' your way downtown. Movin' fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALIIIIIVE (sorta).
> 
> [What would happen during the yearly meetings~♫](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/144049889639/so-my-friend-and-i-were-discussing-your-fanfic-and)  
> [Not in Charge](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6792478/chapters/15516691) \- A NSFW Fic of Red/Leliana/Broker by [AmbroseRivers](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbroseRivers/pseuds/AmbroseRivers) (hhhhh)

After your eventful moment with Papyrus, Sans tossed you your briefcase to let you change inside a nearby bathroom.

"alright kid, what do we have?" the small skeleton asked when you stepped outside the bathroom door.

You smiled at him while stuffing Boss' pajamas into the briefcase then pointed at their large, living room sofa.

Both you and Sans settled down before you started digging through your bag once more.

You pulled out a map and pointed to the coast. "Apparently she's located in one of the storage houses along the port."

He slowly raised an eyebrow as you pointed back and forth along the coast of the city. "... is that seriously all you have?"

Ow. Your info-gathering pride.

He shrugged as you cleared your throat. "well, it's a start I suppose."

You roll up the map and sigh.

2 days left.

Things probably got worse ever since she took that phone from the guard.

You blinked as sans lifted your face to him by pushing a finger under your chin. "don't worry kid," he smiled. "we'll save your sister."

You sat up and gave him a hug. "Thanks Sans."

"THE PASTA'S READY!" yelled a rambunctious voice from the kitchen.

You untangled yourself from Sans and gave him a peck on top of his head, laughing at his blush. "Come on lazy bones, let's go eat."

 

* * *

 

You and sans sat down around a small, round dinner table.

"HERE YOU GO HUMAN," smiled Papyrus as he placed a sparkling plate in front of you. "BONE APPETITE!"

You chuckled when the tall skeleton threw his apron at his grinning brother. "come on paps," he laughed. "that was a good one."

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SANS!" he responded, sitting down and sliding his brother a ketchup bottle.

Nodding his thanks, you watch the small skeleton tilt the ketchup bottle...

"On your _food_?" you exclaimed, exasperated. "Why would you do that Sans!?"

Papyrus gave an indignant huff when Sans emptied half the bottle on the plate of spaghetti and placed the rest beside him. "there's already tomatoes in the spaghetti, what's wrong with adding a few more to the mix?"

"SANS I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU KEEP THINKING I USE JUST TOMATOES FOR THE SAUCE!" yelled Paps as he took a bite from his own plate. "IT'S VERY GOOD ON ITS OWN!"

You turned to the tall skeleton and tilted your head in question. "What else do you put in here Paps?"

"I'M VERY HAPPY YOU ASKED, HUMAN!" he clapped, pulling out a long roll of paper out of his pocket. "CILANTRO, CHEESE, ONIONS..."

You nod as he continued the list.

"...COCONUTS, STRAWBERRIES, APPLES..."

Wait _what_?

"CHOCOLATE, JALAPENOS, GLITTER—"

You raised your hand to stop the barrage of questionable ingredients. You glanced at Sans to see his pupils gone, and (somehow) mouthing the words 'I'm sorry'.

Turning back to the confused cinnamon roll, you point to the food. "Maybe we should hurry up and eat. The food's getting cold."

The skeleton rolled the long list back into his pocket as you slowly rolled your fork through the spaghetti. Eying the little glitter sparkles, now you know why the pasta was so shiny...

Holding your breath, you took a small bite of the pasta.

**! ! !**

"HOW IS IT HUMAN?"he asked, eyes bright with expectation.

"Wonderful." you chuckled, forcing a grin and a few more bites. You'd have to thank Elona for your 'immunity' towards... specialized cooking— their skills were about the same.

Meanwhile, you could feel Sans' unbelieving stare on your back. "WHY DO YOU KEEP STARING AT THE HUMAN, SANS?"

"n-nothin' paps," he stuttered, chowing down. "thanks for the food."

Instead of dropping the subject, the skeleton leaned back into his chair and stroked his invisible beard. "IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL FEELING THE EFFECTS OF YOUR CANOODLING ON THE SOFA?"

Both you and Sans choked on a strand and looked up at the smiling skeleton. _**"WHAT?"**_

"BUT I DON'T SEE HOW YOU COULD TOUCH HER SKELETON WITH ALL THAT PAPER AROUND YOU TWO."

"p-paps," coughed the elder brother. "i wasn't doing **anything** with her."

"OH?"

You watched the tall skeleton get up from his seat to stand in between you and sans.

"WELL MAYBE BECAUSE SPREADING SHEETS OF PAPER AROUND WAS THE WRONG WAY TO DO IT!" he yelled, posing for an invisible camera. "LET THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE!"

"bro wait a sec—"

"HUMAN, AS MUCH IT PAINS ME TO SAY IT, PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR FORK, PAUSE YOUR PASTING EATING, AND STAND UP!"

You complied with a raised eyebrow.

Almost immediately, Paps slid onto your chair and plucked you off your feet to place you on his lap. "YOU SEE BROTHER, FIRST YOU MUST MAKE SURE THE HUMAN IS PROPERLY SEATED!"

You tried to jump off, but you felt an abnormally strong pressure holding you still. "NEXT, YOU WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS TO THE TARGET'S EAR!"

Wha—

" _Lileana,_ " he whispered quietly. _"Please allow me to offer you a_ _ **good time.**_ _"_

You felt a chill down your spine when he blew the last words into your ear.

" **welp, we're running late. see you later paps!** "" yelled Sans as he yanked you off his brother and dragged you out of the kitchen.

"WAIT SANS! YOU HAVE TO ASK BEFORE YOU STROKE HER SKELETON!"

You had to contain your laugh when the small skeleton completely flushed blue and tripped on his own feet. You also realized the pressure holding you still was no longer there.

"don't you _dare_ laugh kid," he grumbled, bringing your face to him. **"do you really want me to bone that skeleton of yours?"**

"GOD DAMNIT SANS!" You shouted after the laughing skeleton.

 

* * *

 

Sans took a deep breath as you crossed off an area of the map.

You were seriously wearing him down to the bone with how quickly you chose the teleportation points.

But he wasn't the only one getting tired.

You were getting noticeably more and more distressed as you crossed off one area after another.

He held up a hand when he saw you open your mouth. "maybe we should take a breather kid."

"No." you replied, rolling up the map. "We've only been at this for a few hours."

He sighed.

Boy, were you hard headed when stressed out.

"we searched through too places way too fast kid. i'm too tired to even move."

He watched you nod in acknowledgement. Thank god you were still reasonable—

"That's fine," you said while pulling out your phone. "We can just take a cab and you can just sleep in it."

He snatched your phone from your hands, placing it in his pocket. "kid, no. we're taking a short break."

" _You’re_ taking a short break," you huffed, spinning away. " _I’m_ going ahead."

Oh _come on_.

He grabbed your arm, pulling you towards him. "kid. 5 minutes." he pleaded, staring into your eyes. "that's all i ask for."

Sans jumped when you whipped your arm away and pointed a finger at his face.

"Last time I talked to her, she stole a phone from a guard," you growled. "Heavens know what they did to punish her for doing that. We need to find her **now**."

Okay, this was news to him. If she really did contact you and got caught, were you seriously going to barge into a storage house full of people with weapons?

"and what will you do once you find her surrounded by enemies, “he laughed, staring in your eyes. " _yell_ them to death?"

He watched you give an arrogant huff and aim a finger gun to his skull. " **Or** a bullet to the head, smart ass."

A dark chuckle rose from him as he got angrier at how snarky you became. "well, do you even _have_ a gun kid?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" you snorted.

 _ **Damn**_ , did _you_ get an **attitude** when you were stressed!

Having enough of your bullshit, he grabbed your shoulders and teleported both of you to a nearby park.

"What the hell Sans!?" you yelled, shoving him away from you. "I gave you **no permission** to teleport us here!"

Oh now he had to laugh.

"since when did you ever give me _permission_ to teleport kid."

You sighed in defeat. "I thought you said you were too tired to even move."

"wouldn't _you_ like to know." he grinned, his irritation from earlier dissipating when you groaned into your hands.

A quick survey of the area told him that it was around the time school ended, with the amount of parents and kids wandering about. He also took notice of a nice, wooden bench from across the park, and a nice cream cart from the other side of the park. 

"hey kid, sit down over there,” he smiled, pointing at the bench. “i'll be right back."

"Not like I can do anything else... "you grumbled.

Sans took a step forward and teleported to a rabbit lazily laying an elbow on the nice cream cart.

The cart owner looked at the skeleton, then at you, letting a mischievous grin grow on his face. "Out on a date with the missus, huh?"

The skeleton turned blue and gave a nervous chuckle. "haha no." he said, taking out his wallet. "how much for two pops?"

"What's wrong pal?" asked the rabbit. "Got feelings for her but ain't got the heart for them?"

Sans froze.

_Well..._

"Sorry 'bout that bud." chuckled the rabbit. "Here. Just take these. They're on the house."

He looked up with an eyebrow raised. "aren't you gonna get in trouble for giving me free nice cream buddy?"

The rabbit laughed and pat the small skeleton's back sympathetically.

" Nah, it's okay. My boss'll understand. Here, take 'em already!" He smiled, handing the skeleton two wrapped popsicles— one pink, and the other one blue.

"Make sure to give her this blue one." winked the rabbit. "I heard the ladies dig the blue stick."

Sans flushed completely blue, stuttering while grabbing both of the popsicles.

While the rabbit broke into a gut wrenching laughter, Sans slipped a few coins into the shop keeper's pocket and ran away.

"damned rabbit..." he grumbled, walking up to the bench you were sitting at.

The skeleton watched you look up from your seat, eyes glossed over with defeat.

"cheer up kid, we'll save her." he said, handing you the popsicle with the pink wrapper.

Sans sat down beside you and smiled when you finally took the popsicle from his hands. "eat it to get some of your 'oompf' back," he sighed, ripping the blue wrapper of his pink popsicle.

Wait.

What?

His head whipped to his left and he felt his magic rise up to his face when you stuck a blue popsicle into your mouth.

He turned his head back to the right to see a rabbit wink and give him a thumbs up.

**YOU GOD DAMNED—**

"This is actually pretty good," you commented, pulling out the ice cream from your mouth— a little droplet of blue sweetness dribbling down your chin. "Oops."

He tossed you his napkin while he stared straight ahead.

_**Don'tThinkAboutItDon'tThinkAboutItDon'tThinkAboutIt.** _

"glad you like it kid," he grinned, popping the pink popsicle inside his mouth. "nice cream's a nice way to cool off."

He saw you glance at him with the lights in your eyes returning. "...Good one."

Sans debated whether or not to throw another pun, but you looked satisfied with just that one. Stuffing the nice cream back into his mouth, the two of you sat in awkward silence as people started to leave the park.

"...Hey."

The skeleton turned to you licking the tip of the popsicle.

He covered his face with his hand, barely holding back his groan.

"...Thanks for the ice cream Sans," you smiled, catching a bit of the melted ice cream with your tongue.

_**HOW CAN ANYONE BE THAT OBLIVIOUS WHILE THEY'RE EATING.** _

"And...Sorry for being an ass."

He crossed his legs to try to prevent his magic from erupting during the serious conversation.

"yeah well... sorry we couldn't find anything," he grinned, closing his eyes to try to think of something else. "so don't worry about it kid."

He opened an eye socket when he heard something fall from your side. Looking down, your nice cream was the source of the sound; and when he looked up, he saw you gripping the wrapper of the nice cream.

You grabbed his collar, causing him to jump and nearly drop his own popsicle.

 **"WHERE DID YOU GET THIS NICE CREAM SANS."** you asked, eyes alight with determination.

Raising an eyebrow, he pointed a thumb to his right. "over there at th—" his hand fell when he saw that both the cart and bunny was no longer there. "what the hell?"

"Sans, look at this.” you said while shoving the wrapper to his face.

Pushing your hand a few inches away, he noticed a few words scribbled neatly on the plastic: "Save The Girl" and underneath was an address.

"kid..." he sighed, biting the rest of the ice cream off his stick. "that's clearly a trap."

"Trap or not, it's closest thing we had to a lead this whole day." You huffed, whipping out the map from your briefcase. "Do you have any other ideas?"

While you searched for the address on the map, he picked up your popsicle and threw both of the sticks in the trash. Afterwards, he looked over your shoulder and pointed to the red circle you barely drew on the map.

"i've been to that storage house before..." he mumbled. "... i think."

You jumped in glee and stuffed the wrapper into your pocket. "Take us there Sans."

Were you seriously thinking of walking into a place, _knowing_ it was a trap?

"and what are you gonna do once you get there?" he sighed, hoping he could reason with you. "if she knocked out a guard last time you talked to her, i'm pretty sure there's gonna be a hell ton more people since they were alerted."

You raised an eyebrow. "Of course I know that. That's why we're scouting them out first."

He quickly scanned your body, trying to force out the lecherous thoughts invading his mind.

"kid, you may _look_ good, but i doubt you can hide from people that well," he chuckled pantomiming your hips with his hands. "besides, you're uh... a bit squishy, kid"

You laughed in response, causing him to blush a little. "Why do you think _you’re_ around?"

Oh.

 

* * *

 

Arriving a few streets away from the destination, you let Sans go ahead of you to do a quick investigation of the safe house. You sat down and began loading the revolver from your bag. You weren't even through half of the barrel when you saw the skeleton teleporting back with a dark look on his face.

"What's wrong Sans?" you asked, wrapping a gun holster around your waist.

He shook his head and helped you on your feet. "it'd be faster if i showed you."

"Lead the way," you replied, letting him teleport you to an empty warehouse.

You shook off the nauseated feeling and leaned on a tall, metal shelf. "What the hell?"

"i couldn't feel any presence of a living being around here so it should be safe to search." he yelled from a different aisle.

...You didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

A few minutes later, you came across an unlocked door, motioning Sans to come to you. Making sure he was prepared, you placed your hand on your holster and slowly opened the door— to a room with a single chair in the middle and an old T.V. on the side. After a quick sweep of the room to make sure nothing was trapped, you and Sans found a remote with a note attached to it saying "Watch the Video."

Being even more cautious of the electronics, you ushered Sans out of the room, turning on the TV and clicking play from outside the door.

 

[[ Date: 01/15 ]]

"Sans, today's 12/19 right?" He nodded in response.

The first thing you noticed after the video static disappeared was—

"broker?" gasped Sans.

The video was somehow being recorded in your office, in a corner of some sort. An easily identifiable Shadow Broker was at their desk, writing a few things down, typing on a computer, and doing pretty much everything an information broker would do.

A few seconds later, a blurred out man with two other people behind them walked up to the desk.

You did a quick search through your memory if you ever met these people, but no... so the one at the desk must be Elona.

It was a bit hard hear what they were saying, so whoever recorded this video knew someone was going to watch it and placed glowing, yellow subtitles on the screen. _"I'm here for the info, Elona."_

Who... Who was this? Why did they know who was Elona?

You and her made a secret contract to make sure no one knew who was at that desk when the two of you switched.

"so this 'elona's' the broker huh?"

You stayed quiet as more subtitles appeared on the screen.

_"Here's your next target. The original Shadow Broker's off topside for a few appointments."_

"'original shadow broker'?" asked Sans. You saw him eyeing you in your peripheral vision. You decided to not say anything.

 _"Thanks,"_ laughed the man, taking a piece of paper off the table. _"And don't worry, I'll help you with the_ _coup d'état_ _."_

"What are they talking about?" you demanded, gripping the remote. The skeleton merely shrugged as the video faded into another static screen.

 

[[ Date: 03/22 ]]

 _"Honey, I'm home!"_ said the man strutting in like he owned your office.

Elona, unlike the energetic intruder, stayed quiet at the desk. _"When are you going to help me take over? It's been 5 years."_

Take over? **5 years?** No, it can't be...

The man laughed in response. _"Come now 'Shadow Broker', did you seriously think you would be able to gain control that easily?"_

_"I've given you money. I've given you weapons. I've given you EVERYTHING you could ever NEED to completely wipe out the three factions."_

"was the broker seriously gunning for US!?" growled the skeleton beside you.

 _"I don't think you understand, sweetheart-who's-face-i've-yet-to-see."_ replied the man. _"This kind of thing takes planning."_

 _"Whatever,"_ replied Elona, throwing an envelope at the man. _"That contains your next few hits. Don't contact me for a while, the original has been getting busy with the rising crime rate."_

You watched the man wave the envelope around. _"That may have been my fault."_

 _"What do you mean?"_ asked Elona.

_"What better way to cause some mayhem and reap the rewards by letting a few grunts go wild with weapons?"_

You watched subtitles turn red when Elona stood up. _**"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING THE PEACE!"**_

 _"Everything's under control,"_ waved the man. _"Besides, you've been a part of this since the beginning. Don't you_ _ **dare**_ _lecture me about keeping the peace when you're the one planned this whole thing up."_

Elona seemed to sink back into her chair as the man walked away, laughing.

You and Sans held your breath as the recording seemed to continue.

_"... Was this really for the best...?"_

 

[[Date: 12/14]]

"oh hey kid, look. this was 5 days ago!" pointed the skeleton.

 _"Hey there smoochums!"_ waved a man, who was followed by his two body guards. _"I just finished screwin' around with the Crimson Crusade! Where am I going next—"_

_"I'm not doing this anymore."_

The man seemed to freeze for a moment before regaining his posture. _"I seem to still have some water in my ears from swimming in my giant pool earlier. What did you say?"_

You saw Elona sit up and look at him straight in the eyes (through the helmet). _"I-I said I'm not doing this anymore!"_

 _"What are you talking about?"_ He replied, slamming his hands on the desk. _"You've done this for_ _ **years**_ _already. You can't just opt out whenever you want to."_

The tree seemed to shrink a little. _"Yes I can! I-I can't betray them. They're..._ _ **She**_ _is my sister."_

The man seemed to double over in laughter as he turned to his body guards. _"Are you two hearing this?"_ he chortled. _"This bitch thinks the original thinks of her as family."_

He turned back Elona, causing her to flinch.

 _"You_ _ **IDIOT**_ _."_ he yelled, pointing at her. _"The moment the original finds out that you've been back stabbing her for years is the moment you're going to return to that hell hole she brought you out of."_

_"No she won't she'll understand!"_

_"Yes she will,"_ he huffed, taking a step back from the table. _"And besides, if you opt out now..."_

He raised a gun to her face.

_**"I'm afraid I'll have to kill you."** _

You held your breath as Elona stood up from her seat. _"You wouldn't_ _ **dare**_ _."_

The man merely shrugged and carefully aimed for her head.

 _"I'm warning you,"_ she replied as roots start breaking through the table. _“_ _ **Don’t**_ _.”_

You had to hold back from screaming 'behind you' as the two body guards surround her.

Suddenly, the screen went static and you a loud bang echoed throughout the room.

"No!" you screamed, running inside the room and gripping the T.V. "She can't be dead! I need answers!"

You were about to punch the T.V. until the static disappeared to show a body guard on his knees. _"S-sir... Why--"_

**BANG.**

**BANG.**

**BANG.**

You watch as Elona turned to watch the poor body guard dissipate into dust.

 _"Now, see what you've done?"_ shrugged the man. _"You made me kill one of my fellas."_

_"WHY WOULD YOU—"_

You flinch as the second body guard stabbed Elona with what looked like a syringe. Quite immediately, the poor girl smacked the body guard away with a root.

 _"W-what did you..."_ she stuttered, pulling out the needle and crushing it under her foot.

 _"Just a little present to make this a little bit easier on us, sweetie."_ said the gunman, aiming his weapon at her once more.

 _ **"GET. OUT!"**_ she yelled, aiming spiked roots at the man— which were cut by some kind of magic that was radiating from the second bodyguard.

 _"Such a shame I'm not leaving without you."_ shrugged the man as he took out a phone. _"Team Alpha, move in as rehearsed."_

And then the screen went black.

"THAT CAN'T BE IT. THERE HAS TO BE MORE!" you yelled, about to break the remote in half.

Sans walked up to you and held your shoulder. "hold on kid, i don't think it's over."

You felt your heart sink when the black screen disappeared.

Surrounded by broken computers, glass, and blood, Elona was laying face down on the floor. You bit your lip when the man, who looked like he didn't participate in the fight, kneeled down in front of her and took off her helmet.

 _"If I knew you were such a cutie, I wouldn't have hurt you this badly."_ he laughed. _"But since you won't help me anymore, I guess it's up to me to finish that coup d’etat and become the new Shadow Broker, hmm?"_

**This. Mother. Fucker.**

He motioned for the (heavily injured) bodyguard from earlier to pick up Elona's lifeless body. The man then tossed the helmet on the pile of dust he created by shooting his ally.

 _"We're leaving."_ he announced, patting his hands of dust. _"I'm going to send the original a message, and I want you to place it here once I'm done."_

Then the screen went static.

.

.

.

"...kid... are you okay there?" asked the skeleton. "you... you're this 'original' broker they're talking about, huh?"

You laughed.

No need to hide it from **this** guy anymore.

You watch him scratch his skull in your peripheral view. "... you still gonna save her?"

Your breath hitched in response. "I—"

**RING.**

Both you and Sans jumped in response to your main phone ringing. You took a peek at the unknown number then put the device next to you ear. "Hello—"

_"-nything else you wanna say?"_

What?

You pull the phone off your ear to see a video being recorded live— **OF ELONA BLINDFOLDED ON A CHAIR.**

"kid snap out of it! look over there in that window behind her! “pointed out Sans as your mind blanked out. " that ship is the same ship we can see from here! **they're in this warehouse somewhere!** "

You shook off the shock while Sans pushed you out the door. "SANS, WE NEED TO SAVE HER!" you pleaded.

"come on kid," he yelled while running. "whatever you do, _**don’t turn off your phone**_!"

You nod, half of your brain following him through an aisle of tall shelves and down a long cross-shaped hall filled with multiple doors. "they have to be in here!" breathed out the skeleton. "these are the only doors with rooms pointing to that ship!"

You begin breaking open doors as the video continued.

 _"I... I wanted to say sorry to her..."_ cried Elona. You refused to look at the video, focusing on kicking down the door you were facing. _"I'm sorry for ever trying to do this. I was... I was stupid to think power was everything."_

You heard a distorted, male laughter break through the video. _"Well you're half right! You_ _ **are**_ _stupid."_

"these rooms over here aren't it!" yelled the skeleton in one of the rooms far from you. Your heart got caught in your throat when the door to the room you broke down contained nothing but dusty books.

“… _And I want to apologize for not telling you the truth.”_

Come on Elona stay with me, you can tell me everything from your perspective after I save you.

"Not here either!" you yelled, watching the skeleton slip into multiple rooms in quick succession.

You would have been impressed enough to comment about his skill if it were a different situation.

 _"Are you done yet? Recording things aren't cheap you know."_ said the distorted voice disdainfully.

You glared at the phone screen. You were going to tear this man apart, **limb from limb.**

 _"You know what? I think I'm ending this here. "_ he huffed, pointing a gun to Elona.

"NO!" you screamed.

"kid! none of these doors over here are the one! it has to be the one next to you!" Sans shouted.

You quickly turned to a rather modern-looking door, fiddling with the lock. "Open open **OPEN**!"

_"Any last words?"_

_**"move!"**_ bellowed the skeleton behind you— blasting a hole through the door with some kind of laser.

You held your breath, squinting through the dust and debris of the blasted door— dropping to your knees when the room was empty.

 _"I guess I can’t cook for you anymore...”_ you heard her tearfully chuckle. “ _Take care, sis."_

**BANG**

Your head whipped to your phone just in time to see Elona's head whip back and her body slowly dissolving into dust, starting from her feet.

Meanwhile, a distorted laughter echoed throughout the room, happy at the deed he has done.

_"Who's next?"_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. RIP Elona ♥


	17. Transportation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the tree rotted away, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much love from the previous chapter <3
> 
> Fanart:  
> [The Canary Brothers ♥](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/144505631549/iiiiiiiiiim-gonna-submit-this-too-but-its-also)  
> ["Sorry"](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/144533089869/filledepluie-sorry-bittersweetorange)  
> [A Badass Shadow Broker Snippet](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/144765798049/you-hate-getting-your-hair-and-helmet-dirty-but)  
> [Cute Elona— Oh jesus my heart](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/144523262969/jukovon-bittersweetorange-jukovon)  
> [A Kickass Shadow Broker + Elona Cuties](http://cookiesandkayleee.tumblr.com/post/144696734634/i-decided-to-post-this-on-my-tumblr-as-well-its#notes)  
> [... This effing thing.](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/144507321479/a-present-you-monster%0A)  
> 

Sans ground his teeth as the menacing laugh echoed throughout the building. “that bastard.”

 

He couldn't bear to look at your slumped, defeated figure, so he turned around.

 

You had the right to blame him for Elona's death. He was the one who said to take a break, he was the one who… He sighed.

 

Picking up your briefcase, he walked over to hand it to you but, seeing as though you weren't responding to his motions, he merely bent down to place it next to you.

 

What the heck is he supposed to say at a time like this?

 

“hey kid, you alright?” He mentally slapped himself for stating the obvious.

 

“...Yeah,” you replied, voice heavy with animosity.

 

Whoa whoa.

 

He shivered when he took a quick peek at your face. Though your your features showed indifference, the spark in your eyes was dark and malificent. If there was one thing the small skeleton had learned from his experience hunting down people, it would be that there wasn’t anyone more dangerous than someone with that look in their eyes.

 

His eyes followed yours to your phone when the distorted voice finally stopped its maniac-like laughter.

 

 _“Oh wait, I know,”_ continued the man behind the camera. _“How about I wipe out the Crusade once and for all.”_

 

The small skeleton chuckled. As much as he disliked that faction's ways, he knew those bloody brothers wouldn't go down without a fight.

 

_“Hmm...nah, what about those high-rise bird brothers? Hiding their black market dealings under the guise of a company built on lies and deceit, they deserve to be shot down.”_

 

Sans perked up and glared at the phone in your hand. The Esqueletos weren't just his associates, they were one of his closest friends.

 

 _“No, wait. I got it!”_ laughed the man. _“I'll just kill that fool who's been in the government for far too long!”_

 

“he wouldn't **d a r e** ,” growled Sans as he stood up from his position.

 

_“Remember Broker. I may not have Elona anymore, but I do have eyes on your 'friends'.”_

 

 _“I will have your seat. Try to stop me, and my eyes will turn into weapons.”_ he laughed, before covering the lens of the camera. _“Toodles.”_

 

Sans hurriedly pulled out his phone to call his brother, but was met with his answering machine instead. He tried to ring his brother again, but it was all for naught.

 

Shit shit shit.

 

“sorry kid,” he said before teleporting to his front door.

 

If that bastard did something to his brother, he's going to have to worry about more than just the Shadow Broker herself.

 

His stiff grin turned downwards as a blue glow began emanating from his left socket.

 

He was gonna have to worry about **him**.

 

* * *

 

You gradually rose from your kneeled position while dusting off your shoulders and hair.

 

_“Ma'am!”_

 

It's okay, you could work without Elona.

 

Picking up your briefcase, you stepped through the broken door and into a hallway with countless opened doors.

 

_“Here you go, I made this for you!”_

 

It's okay, you won't cry. Elona wouldn't want you to cry for her.

 

You finally reached the door of the warehouse and placed your hand on the knob— only to pause and put your forehead on the door.

 

You bit your lip as you fought the tears itching to come out.

 

_“Ma'am, did you fall asleep again?”_

 

You shook your head.

 

You weren't sleeping. Damned if you were going to let that man steal your seat from right under your nose. Of course you were going to stop him.

 

But you were also going to get revenge.

 

Wiping your eyes of the few stray tears that managed to escape, you opened the door to see that the sun was setting. Your free hand reaching for your gun, when you eyed a figure sneaking into a nearby warehouse, then exit with boxes in one hand and a crowbar in the other.

 

Wait a second.

 

You squinted as your eyes adjusted to the light. "...Orange?"

 

"WHO THE HELL—" he jumped, spinning to you with a glowing eye. "L-Leliana?"

 

You watch him look at his hands and felt a slight smile on your lips when he stuffed the crowbar into his pocket, causing you to hear a rip and a curse.

 

He approached you while keeping the boxes he carried behind him. "Uh...What are you doing here?"

 

"That should be my line, Orange."

 

"Um...Just out shopping. You know. Groceries?" he babbled, whispering the last words. _"What the hell dude."_

 

You let out a small chuckle and raised your hands in defeat. "Relax Orange, I know."

 

The tall skeleton sighed in relief and brought the boxes back in front of him. "So," he said, eying your slightly-dusted appearance but not saying anything. "What're YOU doing here, lady?"

 

"Mmm nothing. Just..."

 

Out to get retribution.

 

"Yo, you okay there?" he waved a bony palm in front of your face. Lowering his hand, you pointed a thumb behind you.

 

"Oh uh, yeah. I'm gonna just head home." you sighed, until realization struck you.

 

Sans was your method of transportation. To make matters worse, you weren't familiar with the area, so you couldn't just find a vehicle and 'borrow' it for your own needs.

 

"What's wrong, your ride left you?" you heard him chuckle.

 

Shrugging unresponsively, you took out the map from your briefcase and took a step into a random direction. "Hold up!"  Cranking your head to the side, you were slightly impressed at how fast he grabbed your arm while balancing the boxes with his other hand. He flinched when your eyes moved from your arm to his face.

 

"Why not come with me?" he said, releasing you. "I have a car a few blocks away. You can stay over tonight."

 

You raised an eyebrow when he mentioned the car. You suppose the rumors of him only being able to teleport short distances was true. He rubbed the back of his neck with a free hand.

 

"I-uh... I didn't mean anything like that. I mean, Blue's there too..." He said, before a light appeared in his eyes and he mumbled the rest of the sentence under his breath.

 

Ignoring the rest of his grumblings, you balanced your options. Either you walked around for god knows how long and paid for a taxi to bring you back to your base, OR you could go with Orange while planning your revenge in the safe confinements of his home. You felt kinda bad for treating him like this, but **no one** messes with your life and gets away Scott free.

 

"Lead the way," you nod. Replying with a smile as if he was reprieved from some kind of burden, he walked in front of you to his car.

 

A small smile cracked the cold exterior of your face when you saw him walking awkwardly due to the crowbar in his pants.

 

* * *

 

"Well, here she is," beamed the tall skeleton as he set the boxes on the trunk of his car and patted his leggings for his keys. Despite his brother's complaints, Orange was proud of the old silver-colored sedan. He huffed at how stupid someone could be to just abandoned a perfectly good car in a land dump. _Sure_ it may have taken him a couple of days to get it working again, and _sure_ his brother forbid him from entering the house unless he was decontaminated with countless showers first, but it was _all_ worth it to hear the engine roar once more.

 

He became concerned when he patted everywhere and couldn't find his keys— until he felt the bottom of the crowbar through his pants.

 

Shit.

 

"Uh... I might need you to..." he flailed his hands in hopes of trying to not sound like an idiot. "Turn around."

 

Great. Good one big boy.

 

It's been days since you've seen her and the first thing you do is rip your pants in front of her. _Now_ you gotta pull off your pants _WITH HER_ **_METERS AWAY_ ** , to pull out your goddamn keys.

 

After making sure no one else was in the vicinity, he shuffled into the shadows between his car and a building, and proceeded to take off his belt. He laughed bitterly. "I didn't expect to take off my pants in front of her this quickly."

 

"I'm sorry, what was that Orange?" he heard you call from the other side of the car.

 

He cursed when he nearly tipped over by your response. Good lord you had really sharp ears.

 

"Nothing! Nothing! Just uh-- _God damn it, fucking shoes_ \--" he grumbled, sitting down to toss his sneakers to the side. "J-just don't turn around please!"

 

His irritation was elevated a little bit when he heard a soft chuckle coming from your side. His mind wandered as he wrestled his pants off his pelvis— almost biting his non-existent tongue when the crowbar hit a soft spot in his pelvis.

 

No one would approach this side of the port unless they had... unlawful dealings. I mean, he himself was there to steal- er... obtain certain goods some customers wanted. But of all the time he's come here, he's never seen _you_ here. Okay, so maybe being the Broker's top agent meant that sometimes you had to do a grunt's work, but cut him some slack. He didn't want to mark you as a murderer, with all that dust you clearly tried to wipe off. You were just a really cute girl who had dealings with one of the most dangerous people in the city.

 

You yourself weren't a dangerous being, right?

 

Orange nearly cheered when he finally managed to unhook the crowbar from his pants and retrieve his keys— ignoring the fact that through his actions, his pants were nothing more than rags. Looking down at his briefs, he just had to wear the ones with the yellow duckies saying 'quack'. There's no way in hell you're seeing him like this. With a sigh, he picked up the tattered scraps of clothing and walked to the trunk of his car to grab some spare pants.

 

After making sure the boxes he... acquired were safely hidden in a secret compartment of his car, he looked through his a small bag for those extra leggings. None.

 

"F--" He slammed the trunk, locked it, then opened the door to the back seats of his car in hopes to find what he was looking for. Pens, cigarette boxes, flashlights, rope, more cigarette boxes...

 

"Shit."

 

With a deep breath, he yanked open the door to the passenger seat to be met with flying ashes of a fallen cigarette tray. "SONOVA—"

 

"Orange are you oka--"

 

"YEAH. I'M OKAY. JUST PLEASE STAY TURN--"

 

"Are those... ducks?"

 

He slammed his head on the hood of his car.

 

You really **_are_ ** going to be the death of him.

 

* * *

 

You took another glance to your left.

 

Here you are, in the passenger seat in a skeleton's car who had a small cardboard box on his lap. You pointed at the brown package. "Are you seriously going to drive while that's there?"

 

Avoiding your eyes, he nodded- glowing slightly orange you might add.

 

"You _do_ know how dangerous it is to drive with something on your lap."

 

To this, he gave a confident grin- "Don't worry, I got this" - And started the car.

 

* * *

 

Rolling down the windows, you let the cool evening air caress your tired face and closed your eyes when the street lights began appearing erratically.

 

The ride so far had been awkward to say the least.

 

Many times did Orange try to strike up a conversation with you, only to be replied with extremely short answers or mere grunts. No offense to the skeleton, but you weren't in the mood to talk. Still, you felt kinda bad when he sighed and began lighting a cigarette in response to your attitude.

 

Craning your head in a way that you could see the skeleton whilst still pretending to enjoy the wind from outside, you observed his features. His jaw wasn't as pronounced as Paps' was, but it certainly was not as 'feminine' as Boss'. It was a mixture of both.

 

Your eyes traveled to his neck, then to his shoulders, then you analyzed his entire being (minus everything below the cute ducks). Though he was wearing a shirt that looked like it was hastily buttoned on, you could see his clavicles from your position, and his ribs- thanks to the light peering through the opened windows. You knew what bones looked like-obviously, since you yourself had broken a few of them- but his were marginally thicker- if not a bit longer as well. It was... fascinating.

 

Despite the fact that he was just a skeleton— in which you found out could produce certain appendages, courtesy of Sans— you wouldn't _immediately_  deny Orange if he wanted something more than a kiss from you. They say that lovemaking’s a huge stress relief.

 

And boy, were you stressed.

 

You shook your head of the lecherous thoughts trying to creep into your mind.

 

No. He was a friend. You weren't going to use him for that.

 

Your head jerked forward and you nearly hit the edge of the window, only to be pulled back to your seat by a skeleton hand. "ASSHOLE!" you heard him yell.

 

Rubbing the kink in your neck, you saw that you were in an intersection and a car was speeding through a red light perpendicular from where you were sitting. You saw him turn to you with a worried look on his face. "Sorry about that, are you okay?" He said, raising a hand to your cheek.

 

You twisted your neck around one last time before nodding. "It wasn't your fault. He ran a red light."

 

"Yeah..." he sighed, putting both hands to the wheel again. You turned back towards the window as he entered the freeway, and this time, keeping your head off the sill. A few seconds later, you heard him whisper: "What the--"

 

Looking back at the skeleton, you noticed him trying to grab something from near his feet. "Orange, that's dangerous." Your view constantly bouncing between in front of the car and the driver.

 

"The box fell and I'm--" both of you cursed as he slightly veered into the next lane, causing a car to blast its horn. "Shit-- I can't--"

 

Making sure there wasn't a cop in sight, you unbuckled your seatbelt and reached down his legs. "WHAT ARE Y—"

 

"Shoosh you," you mumbled. " _You_  focus on driving. I'll get the stupid box."

 

"No-- I-I'll just park I can get it myself!" He stuttered as you balanced your head on his lap to try to reach the offending box. Curse this skeleton for having such long legs.

 

"Just shut up and drive." you growled, irritably, ignoring how much he was fidgeting. "And keep still, I can't reach the box if you keep moving."

 

You heard a string of quiet curses escape from his mouth the longer it took you to reach the box. At last, you felt it touch your middle finger, and soon enough you manage to grab hold of it. "Got it!" you exclaimed, slowly raising your head.

 

You were immediately pressed down onto a certain pair of duck shorts, causing you to slightly panic. "S-shh. Don't move." He whispered.

 

You felt the car slow down and saw a faint flash of red and blue lights from above your head.

 

You heard a pair of footsteps approach the car and an authoritative voice speak up. "Sorry to bother you sir, but we need to check your plate number."

 

As if you weren't head-first into his pelvic area, you heard him respond with a "Go ahead."

 

With how steady his grip on the back of your head was, you'd swear he was some kind of boxer. You patted his leg hoping he could stop crushing your face and allow you to breathe.

 

"J-just wait a tick, he's almost done." He said, with a rough breath at the end.

 

You... Were going to ignore the fact that the ducks on his shorts were faintly glowing.

 

After what you swore was years, Orange finally sped away and let you go from his... suggestive hold. You glared at him while putting on your seat belt and throwing the box into the back seat. "What did I say about the box, Orange?"

 

Watching him withdraw a little bit and whispering a "You were right", you nodded. "That's what I thought."

 

A few more minutes of driving, he got off the freeway and entered a rather quaint street with two-storied houses. Stopping at one that had a small pergola in the yard, he turned to you with a flushed face and a wink. "Can't say I was sorry for keeping you there though."

 

You gaped. "You're almost as bad as Sans!" You said, exasperated as he exited the vehicle and opened the door to your side.

 

You swore you felt him freeze and raise an eye-bone before smirking. He approached your seat and whispered "Oh I can be much worse than him." And kissed your cheek.

 

Your jaw dropped as he laughed and walked up to open the tiny gate in front of the house.

 

… You should’ve taken a taxi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this right here kids is why you don’t have things on your lap while you drive.


	18. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Esqueletos' home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AHHH ORANGE ♥](http://battz.tumblr.com/post/146022269313/underswappapyrus-has-stolen-my-heart-3-drawn)   
> 

Orange walked over to the gate, chuckling as you followed behind him.

He took a small breath and strained himself to look at you without turning his head.

Good, you were still flustered.

Still though, he sighed. He couldn’t believe he just did that.

And what did you mean by “worse than Sans”? There was no way he was into you too right?

Yeah, no. He’s probably just teasing you, like always.

After reaching over the gate to unhinge the door, he turned towards the lady standing behind him and urged her forward. “After you,” he bowed.

He watched you shake off his remark and stride forward whilst wearing your cold mask once again. He almost bumped into you when he notices you staring at a little pergola with bench that was surrounded by a rose garden.

“Like the thing I made?”

He smiled when you turned around and raised an eyebrow that pretty much said  ‘you made that?’

“Yup,” he chuckled. “Blue won’t let me smoke inside the house so I’d always step outside to do my deed. Sometimes though, I’d like to sit down and relax while I light one, so I decided to build that. My brother was the one who placed those rose bushes around.”

You merely nodded in reply and continued walking down the stone path.

The tall skeleton rubbed his neck at your indifference and sighed as he put out his cigarette with his foot.

Jesus effing Christ, you are so _quiet_. The only time you actually seemed like the same person from the dinner event a few nights back was when he teased you.

Orange frowned as you turned around to face him.

He didn’t like that look. A smile suited you much better.

And if teasing was the only way he could make you smile, then so be it. He’ll scream _after_ he’s done making you laugh.

“What’s wrong Orange?”

His mind raced trying to remember Sans’ failed failed pick-up lines. _Ah_.

“Oh nothing,” he smirked, making a show of his eyes moving down your body. “Just admiring the view.”

 **_“YOU!!!”_ ** you blushed as you stomped towards the door.

Ahh jeez. It’s gonna be a _long_ night.

 

* * *

 

Fricken Orange.

You watched him jog in front of you and knock on the door first. Said door swung open and the first thing you see was a tiny skeleton wearing a blue apron whilst wielding a wooden spoon like a sword.

“Brother! You’re late again!” cried the little one as he readies the spoon against the taller skeleton’s head. “What did I say about staying—”

You saw him freeze mid-sentence when his starry-eyes landed upon your visage. “Lily? What are _you_ doing here?”

“She’s gonna stay over for a couple a days with us, bro.” replied the taller skeleton he then turned to you while rubbing his neck. “I also kinda told him about your relationship with the Broker.”

You shrugged at Orange telling his brother your “job” but raised an eyebrow at his earlier statement. You thought you were going to crash at their place for only a night. What’s this about a few days?

You decided not to say anything when you saw him swiping a hidden hand left and right.

“You should have told me that she was coming over!” pouted the small skeleton as he smacked the taller skeleton’s arm with the spoon. Blue looked down at his apron, tore it off, then wrapped it around his neck as a light breeze coincidentally blew through the three of you.

“COME IN! COME IN LILLY!” he laughed, as he majestically took long strides towards the kitchen (well, as majestic as a tiny skeleton could stretch his tiny little legs). “I, THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE, JUST FINISHED COOKING!”

You thought you heard Orange groan as he took off his shoes to put on a pair of slippers nearby. “I’LL SET UP THE TABLE, SO PLEASE LEAD LILY OVER HERE, BROTHER!”

You watched Orange grab, what looked like, a pair of fluffy, pink slippers and hand them to you. “Whatever you do,” he whispered, “If we’re about to eat tacos, _don’t eat his pico de gallo.”_

Oh God.

 

* * *

 

You took in your surroundings as you followed Orange to the kitchen area.

Structurally, the house was nearly identical to Sans’ and Papyrus’ house, but the inner design was different. Walking on your tiptoes, you noticed the rooms of the brothers have been flipped, and you could see whose bedroom was who’s with one name plate being etched with the word “BLUE”. Turning your gaze to down to the first floor once more, you noticed that rather than a couch, a red loveseat was stationed in front of a giant, flat-screen TV. Squinting, you think you also spied a few game consoles that have yet to come out in stores below TV.

Being the CEOs of a large chain of markets means that you have some nice perks when it comes to certain items, you suppose.

As you got closer to the kitchen, a sensational smell began to permeate the air. By sensational, you meant that it was nothing like you’ve ever smelled before; the scent of meat was being covered by this… _unique_ smell of burnt tomatoes and onions.

“ _That,_ ” whispered Orange as he pulled a chair for you. “Is the pico de gallo.”

You managed to **not** make a sour face as Orange sat diagonal from you on the round dinner table. After getting settled, the tall skeleton turned on a tiny T.V. that was embedded in a nearby wall and a small chef began placing empty, ceramic plates onto the table.

A few seconds later, a colorful arrangement of taco shells and wraps appeared in front of you, as well as some questionable side dishes. Blue sat diagonal of you and stared with bright, gleaming eyes. “I hope you like my cooking, Lily!”

In response, you reached out to fill a taco with the mystery meat and—

“Here you go Lily! Try my pico de gallo!” he smiled, shoving a giant bowl of black goop in your face. You turned to plead assistance from his younger brother, but all you saw was a tall skeleton being oddly focused with the television.

Orange, how **dare** you betray me.

“Lily?” squeaked the tiny one. “You took too long so I just placed my salsa into your taco!”

You heard a tall skeleton choke on his drink, but ignored him.  
  
“Thank you Blue,” you gave him a strained smile and took your taco from him.

‘Well, bone apetit’ you thought, as you bit into the taco.

 

* * *

 

You wanted to assist Blue with the dishes but he refused to let you go near the sink and told you to sit down. You still felt kinda bad for your reaction towards the food, but you shrugged and began sipping on a glass of water. Meanwhile, Orange laid back (uncomfortably) in his chair and spaced out.

Your mind was wandering on how to start on your road of revenge when something on the TV caught you off guard.

The news channel was on, and a reporter was standing in front of an old building, that looked _very_ similar to yours, that had police wrapping the surroundings with police tape.

“What the—”

All three of you stopped what you were doing, and looked at each other with a raised eyebrow whilst staring at the TV.

 _“... that’s right Debra, due to an anonymous tip from the public, we have reason to believe that_ **_the_ ** _Shadow Broker is actually residing in this very same building,”_ smiled a man who looked like the police chief.

 _“I need you to evacuate as me and my team,”_ he waved an arm around at a large group who looked like a SWAT team. _“Go in and apprehend this fiend.”_

“This is so silly. Of course Brokey would escape before they could attack due to the news streaming this…” stated Blue as he turned to his brother with a worried look. “Right, Orange?”

The tall skeleton caught your line-of-sight in response. You merely closed your eyes and shrug.

That son-ova-bitch must have tipped off the police. This is really going to set you back.

All three of you jumped when your main phone rang from your pocket. Taking it out, you looked down at the caller.

It was Boss.

You bit your lip, thinking about what he has to say. “I have to take this, sorry.”

You got up and exited the front door, leaving the door cracked so you could get back in.

 

* * *

 

“Hello?”

_“BROKER! ARE YOU SAFE!? ARE YOU STILL THERE!? DID YOU MANAGE TO ESCAPE!? I TOLD MY USELESS BROTHER TO WATCH OVER YOU NOT—”_

**Ow.**

“Boss it’s okay, I’m okay. Relax.” you sighed, bringing the phone to your other ear because the other one’s ear drum felt like it exploded. “I’m safe.”

You heard him release a small breath and regain his poise attitude. _“Where are you right now?”_

“I’m at the Canary’s home.”

 _“Hmm… I suppose that’s better than staying out in the open._ ” There was a small break in the call before he spoke up again. _“Would you rather I pick you up and protect you at my home?”_

“Thank you for the offer, but I believe I’m safe here,” you chuckled.

You heard him hum a little bit then sigh. _“As you wish. Oh, and don’t forget that since you’ve_ **_publicly_ ** _lost your base of operations, all your connections have been cut off.”_

Wha— **OH SHIT.** ****  
**  
** While still in the call, you went through your contacts and tried messaging them— all to be given the “number not found” error.

_Fffffffffuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkk_

_“Broker? Are you still there?”_

You walked over to the bench under the pergola Orange built and sighed into your hand when you sat down. “Yeah… I am…”

 _“Listen,”_ he said, voice heavy with sympathy. _“I may have my hands full right now, but I’ll dig up what I can about your attacker— your sister killer.”_

You jumped at your seat when he said the last part of the sentence. “How did you know about that?” you growled.

 _“I have my own ways about gathering information, Broker.”_ he said arrogantly smug. _“But don’t worry. I will assist you with the best of my abilities.”_

You were debating on whether or not to be picked up by Boss just to slap that smugness off his face.

You heard a door slam and someone yelling at the other end. _“I have to take my leave.”_

“Okay, I’ll speak to you later.” You waited for the tall, edgy skeleton to hang up due to your habit of being the one to never end the call first just incase a customer wanted some last minute information. “Boss?”

 _“... Stay safe.”_ he whispered before ending the call.

 _What was that?_  you thought to yourself before closing your phone and placing your head on the back of the bench.

So.

Not only did you lose your home, but you also lost a lot, if not _all,_ of your contacts.

That meant you had to either hope that the most important ones in your briefcase are still available, _or_ wait for Boss and his intel.

God. Today’s just getting better and better.

 

* * *

 

You watched Orange exit the front door and go to his car, looking at your defeated position in the corner of his eye. A few seconds passed and you heard said car drive away.

You weren’t sure how long you spaced out, but next thing you know you were staring into the stars of a tiny, blue skeleton. You didn’t even jump in surprise due to your lack of energy.

“Are you okay Lily?” asked the tiny skeleton with a worried look on his face.

Well, you kind of just lost your only family member _and_ your home in which you lived with said sister. Oh, and you may/may not have just lost your footing as the most powerful information gatherer in the city.

“Yeah.”

“Now that’s a lie if I’ve ever saw one!” pouted Blue as you allowed him to climb on your lap.

You don’t know if it was because he was small or if he was a skeleton, but he was rather light.

“You know whenever someone gets hurt, they say a kiss will help a pain disappear!” he smiled, pointing to your chest. “I think _you_ are in pain therefore it is my duty to help you!”

You felt a small smile rise on your face. “Really now?”

“Mwah!”

You felt a small tap on your forehead as he spun a finger away. “Pain pain fly away!”

Your minuscule smile grew a little more at how cute the little one was acting. “Thank you, Blue.”

You thought he was going to get off, but instead he placed both his hands on his cheeks.

“Oh no! I can still feel pain emanating from your soul!”

This time, he kissed _your_ cheek.

“Pain pain, fly away~”

You raised an eyebrow when he didn’t get off yet.

He tilted his head at your confused gesture. “Still not pain-free?”

“Hmm…” he hummed, before you swore you saw a light bulbs pop in place of the stars in his eyes. “I know!”

Still facing you but now on his knees while on your thighs, he placed his head on your shoulder.

“Blue,” you said cautiously. “What are you doing?”

You felt a familiar clank on your neck— then immediately a sucking effect. _“Pain pain fly away.”_ he whispered in your ear.

You gasp and move your head away from him, slap a hand over your neck, look at the hand that was on your neck, then stare at the tiny blueberry with wide-eyes.

“Di-Did you just—”

“Hmm?” he smiled innocently whilst tilting his head.

“You don’t even have lips! How-- Why—”

“What’s wrong Lily?”

He gave you a hooded smile. _“Would you like me to even it out_ **_on both sides of your neck?_ ** _”_

“WHOA WHAT.”

“Bro, what’re you doing?”

Standing a bit further away was Orange who stood in the shade of the house with his arms crossed. The sun had set, and the only source of light was the moon so the look in his eyes was obscured by the darkness. The only thing you can see is the light from his cigarette.

“I was just welcoming her to our home!” smiled the tiny skeleton as he wrapped his arms around you.

“That’s not how you do that,” you replied— barely catching that Orange said the same exact thing.

Both you and Blue blinked. “What?”

Crushing his cigarette under his foot, Orange strode over a rose bush and pulled a fully-grown one off it’s place, ignoring his brother’s groan. He then walked up to you casually and placed the rose in your hair whilst staring straight into your eyes.

He tilted your face up to him. “ **This** is how you do it.”

The tall skeleton bent down to the side of your neck where Blue didn’t touch, then—

**Chomp**

You flinch back and cover your neck while Blue nearly fell off your lap from your reaction. “Brother! Why did you do that!?” he flailed.

You felt supreme heat rising up to your face when the perpetrator gave a low, hearty laugh and met your eyes. Said skeleton patted his brother’s head then smirked at you.

“Welcome to our house.”

 

* * *

 

The three of you ended up talking about anything and everything; it wasn’t until Orange heard the small skeleton’s light breathing did he send his brother in to go sleep.

This ended up with him sitting next to you while he watched you look up at the stars.

Seeing as though you were at least _physically_ smiling, the tall skeleton supposed that now’s the best time to ask what happened.

“So…” he drawled, hoping that he wouldn’t sound like an idiot. “What were you doing at the port earlier?”

He saw you scoot a little further away— very minuscule, but the distance was still noticeable.

Damn.

“I was out on a walk,” you murmured

Orange squinted at your weak response. “Really now.”

You merely shrug and avoided eye-contact by staring back up at the stars.

“Hey now, I’m only asking because you’re so high strung.” he sighed while scooting over to close the distance between the two of you. “I’m just worried that you’re gonna fall sick if you stress yourself too much.”

“No worries,” you gave him a weak smile. “I got myself.”

Yeah sure. Anyone would believe someone with that look on their face.

The tall skeleton pretended not to hear your reply as his mind raced to bring up your moral.

Maybe a story would work.

“I used to get into fights a lot.”

You nodded your head as you whispered, “Well that explained why you had such a strong grip.”

“What?”

“Nothing, please continue.”

He took one last glance at you before laying back into the bench and looking up at the stars.

“Everyday I would come home and Blue would always greet me with his regular self.” He cleared his throat and began (failing) to mimic his brother’s voice.

 _“Where were you!? Why are you covered in bruises!? I’m the one who has to sew your clothes because you always rip them—”_ the tall skeleton started to cough because his voice went too high and resulted in his voice cracking. He noticed you try to contain your chuckles as you inched closer to pat him on the back.

He winked a thank you.

“Funny enough, every time I fought there was always some sorta referee and a crowd would come out of nowhere.”

Yeah. People would always come bet and he’d get part of the profit.

“I remember this one time. “ he coughed, regretting bringing up _this_ part of the story. “Me and this chick did **not** get along, so -being us- we decided to duke it out.”

You smirked. “Lemme guess. You got your ass handed to you.”

Orange gave a hearty laugh and shook his head. “Actually, me and her were the top in hand-to-hand combat during that time. I had reach and she had flexibility. “

“8 rounds,” he sighed. “8 excruciatingly long rounds. The referee ended up calling it a tie.”

“The people were _sooo_ pissed,” he laughed. “Hell, we were still stressed from all the fighting.”

The tall skeleton rubbed his neck when he paused the story and saw you tilt your head at him.

“We uh… ended up having a tie breaker at her house. I had reach, and she had flexibility,” he coughed, dragging his eyes away from yours. “More than one way to relieve stress I suppose.”

Orange felt a slight blush appear on his face when he finally took in the fact that he told you about one of his… escapades. He managed to build enough confidence to look back at you; he watched you place your chin between your thumb and your index finger and go silent.

Oh God. Why did he tell you that story.

“H-hey uh—”

“Hey Orange,” you said, still facing away from him.

He perked up in response. “Yeah?”

“Do you want to test your reach against _my_ flexibility?”

. . .

What?

 

* * *

 

You watched Orange open his mouth once, twice. Pretty much until he said “What?”

“I could use some stress relief,” you stretched your neck, cracking a few bones in the process.

The tall skeleton stood up and began stuttering like crazy. “I-I-I was, I mean, you and me uh---”

Why was he— **OH.** ****  
**  
** You jumped off your seat and raised both of your hands to calm him down. “That wasn’t what I meant. I mean maybe we could try sparring a little.”

Orange exhaled in response and fell back into the seat, laughing. “Right, that’s what you meant.”

As quickly as he landed into his seat, he jumped back up and held out a hand. “Here, come with me. I have a perfect place to do this.”

“Now?” you asked, eyeing his outstretched hand.

“Yes _now_ , “ he grinned, opening and closing his hand that was in front of your face. “What better way to burn off the calories that my brother shoved into you earlier, than to pop a few bones on the floor? I mean, I myself love to savor the moment until the last minute until I pop a few—”

“ _Wait_ ...” You had to bite your cheek to contain your laughter when he paused. “That just went somewhere _horrible_.”

You broke into a gut-wrenching laugh at Orange’s expense, causing him to turn away and hide his face behind his hands. After a few moments, you wiped the tears from your eyes and grab hold of his hand that was still floating mid-air and heard him whisper “Finally.”

 

* * *

 

You followed the skeleton to the back of the house to a giant shed. Deftly unlocking the shed with a key hidden in a nearby pot, he walked inside and said to close your eyes before turning on a light that would have blinded you until next week.

Blinking a few times, you were astounded to see the inner walls of the shed decorated with stars and planets. Walking up to the nearest wall, you placed your hand on one of the stars to see it faintly glowing despite the lights above your head.

You heard a chuckle from the middle of the room and turned around to see the tall skeleton laying down a ginormous, navy blue mat on the ground. “My bro has this weird affinity to anything sci-fi related, so go figure he’d make the inside of our gym look like the universe.”

“Well then, this is a beautiful gym, Orange.” you smiled as he, too, smiled at your compliment.

You asked if you could help him with the placement of the mat but he shook his head and smiled. “You can go change in that little corner over there,” he pointed to a corner of the building where a little box was standing, covered by a blanket, and had a cardboard sign saying ‘Drezzing Room’.

Looking down at your clothes, you were half-way prepared for strenuous activities— seeing how you’re already wearing stretch pants. Rather than walking over to the corner, you merely stood where you were and took off your jacket and then shirt, leaving you with your sports bra.

To this, the tall skeleton froze at his musings and stared at your chest. “Y-you uh… Are you sure that’s okay with you?” he asked, cheeks slightly glowing orange. “I mean, you can always go back in the house to change into something less...uh… _less?”_

You laughed at the blushing skeleton and patted your chest. “This is fine,” you smiled. “I can move better like this.”

You thought you heard him mumble “Well I don’t” before finishing up with the mat, patting his hands, then standing up.

 

* * *

 

The two of you walked over to the center of the mat, standing a few feet apart from each other. “Ah, before we start, I’d like to tell you something,” said the tall skeleton.

“What is it?”

In the blink of an eye, he teleported in front of you and flicked your forehead. “What the hell Orange!?” you yelled, staring up at his smug smile.

“Expect the unexpected,” he laughed, patting the top of your head.

Oh, _oh._ Two can play at _this_ game, you damned skeleton.

“Hey Orange, how many bones do you skeletons have?”

He blinked and tilted his head. “We have 206 bones just like you hum—AGH!”

A grin erupted from your face when you tackled him and ended up straddling his lap.

“Ow…” he glared at you, failing to suppress a smile that was taking over his scowl. “That wasn’t fair, lady. We didn’t even start yet.”

You raised an eyebrow as you prevented him from getting up. “Wasn’t it you who said to, and I quote, _‘expect the unexpected’_?”

He managed to sit up, but you merely pushed him down. If he were really trying to get up he could easily send you flying, but you guessed that he’s just lazy.

“Okay, okay. Very funny, use my own words against me.” he chuckled, patting your hands from his chest. “Now get off me and we’ll do this for real.”

You responded by dragging your hands back to your person— but stopped when you accidently flicked the exposed ribs of the skeleton, causing him to squeak.

“Wh-” you blinked. “What was _that_?”

He covered his face with his hands in a flustered panic.

You felt something click within you, when you heard him mumble something close to “nothing nothing oh god.”

“Sorry I couldn’t hear you Orange,” you smirked, staring at his ribs that were in your view. “What did you say?”

“N-nothing just get off me.” you swallowed a chuckle as he lamely tried to push you off with a hand as he hid a glow from his face with his other hand. You lightly slid a finger on his bottom-most rib, causing him to jump.

“I never knew skeletons were ticklish,” you said whilst biting your bottom lip to prevent your grin from growing any further.

You saw him peek through his hand when he gripped your left wrist with his other one. “Not funny lady,” he took a breath. “Don’t you know that I’m as sensitive as my feelings?”

“Even here?” you stroked his spine, feeling a shiver reverberate through him— causing the same vibrations to go through you.

“Oh my g-god, quit it,” he whined, trying to grab both of your wrists with his one free hand. You began laughing at this.

“I’m just curious, Orange,” you replied, slowly trailing your palm up and down his spine. A sunset-colored glow that was seeping through his hand on his face.

“If… don’t….it”

You began caressing the top of his pelvis that was peeking from his shorts whilst bending over towards his face. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

He moved the hand on his face to his side, revealing a very, _very_ flushed skeleton. “I said, if you don’t stop, you’ll regret it.” he whispered.

“Oh really?” you smirked, positioning yourself on his femurs and staring at his midsection.

“W-what are you doing?” he lifted his head trying to see what you were looking at.

With cat-like grace, you gripped his spine with your free hand and began pumping up and down. In the corner of your eye, you saw his head bounce back down to the mat and cursed. A wicked grin slid onto your face when you bent down to the top of his pelvis, and licked.

Then all of a sudden, the whole world was flipped upside-down, and you felt the mat on your back.

It took you a second to re-orientate yourself and piece together the fact that _you_ were now the one being straddled by the skeleton. You noticed his blush was now blazing, and you saw a warm light radiating from his shorts.

“I warned you, Leliana.” he whispered, inching close to your face while keeping your arms over your head. “You shouldn’t tease.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so ticklish,” you retorted, defiantly.

He raised an eye-bone that yelled ‘is that so’ before looking straight into your eyes, fangs in his mouth glistening— and licked his bite mark from earlier, causing you to jump.

A dark chuckle echoed from his throat. “Seems like I’m not the only one who’s ticklish.”

You felt your face explode with heat as you tried to replying with something witty. “I—”

**BANG BANG**

Orange looked up from his muses. “What was that?”

You heard high-pitched yelling from behind the door to the gym. “No wait! Don’t!”

Quite immediately after (who you supposed was) Blue said that, the door was sent flying to the other side of the room, and a stubby, edgy meatball holding a giant bone appeared from the dust of the broken entrance.

His head whipped to the person who was sitting on top of you and froze. The red light emanating from the small, red skeleton erupted into a fiery blaze when he saw you in the compromising position that you were in.

His spiky grin turned into a malicious snarl, golden fangs gleaming from behind his red fog.

  
_“You son of a bitch.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess Orange’ll stay thirsty forever. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	19. The Emporium Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything became a blur when the news lady started talking about the Broker’s building.
> 
> Or maybe that’s because he felt flat on his face when he tried to get up from the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The Whole Shebang](http://bittersweetorange.tumblr.com/post/148104152029/here-you-go-i-hope-you-like-it-oh-my#notes)  
>  by [CrimsonCrimes](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonCrimes/pseuds/CrimsonCrimess)  
> 4 scores and 4 months ago, I had a regular update schedule.
> 
> [TW] Mentions of abuse

Red kicked off his shoes and relaxed on his favorite sofa, letting out a low sigh once he felt his back hit a pillow.

 

Ever since he dropped you at the Broker’s place, his brother’s been mighty… angsty for reasons he didn’t know. Like you said, his brother didn’t rip him a new asshole when Red said that it was _you_ who wanted to stay back there. Still, it didn’t stop boss from being a broody asswipe who locked himself in his room for the rest of that night.

 

Digging through his pocket, he took out a handful of mustard packets and bit one open, only _slightly_ caring of the sauce that splattered onto the couch.

 

The small skeleton was quite surprised about what happened the morning after.

 

He woke up **late** _._

 

Being the “perfect leader” that Boss is, he _never_ lets his lethargic brother do his business quietly. Everyday, he would come in and haul his lazy ass to work.

 

Red growled as he threw a few more mustard packets into his mouth. He wouldn’t mind if his damned brother left him alone for a few mornings. Granted he’d use all that time to sleep in, but still.

 

Crawling out of bed, he trudged through the room to put on a pair of semi-clean clothes and then teleported into the kitchen— just in time to see Boss coming out of the door to his dungeon.

 

The small skeleton wasn’t sure what Boss was doing but Red wasn’t able to think for more than 5 seconds before his brother held his shirt in a vice grip and dragged him upstairs into his room and locked the door.

 

Red turned on the T.V. and let the sounds of the news wash over his mustard-filled head.

 

Ignoring how his brother was peeling off blood-covered gloves, Red felt apprehensive due to the fact that said skeleton would not look at him in the eyes.

 

“I need you to do some things for me, as quietly as you can,” he said softly, aggravating Red’s already nervous nature.

 

His brother always _yelled_ orders at him, just like the head of the gang should. The last time he heard him talk like that was when . . .

 

Red shook his head, took out a few more packets, then cursed when they slipped out of his shaking hands.

 

Boss then slowly listed each task the small skeleton was supposed to do, which was relatively simple— stake out a number of warehouses and covertly protect them using more _subtle_ units than Red was accustomed to.

 

Oh.

 

And to keep an eye out for a rabbit handling a nicecream cart.

 

Red gave a low chuckle as he bit into the last of his packets.

 

The buildings he could understand because they were near the places that recently got hit. But a rabbit? _A god damn bunny?_

 

If it weren’t for his boss telling him to search for the monster, Red wouldn’t carrot all.

 

He snorted and turned to face the television— just in time to see a cop burst into a door of a _very_ familiar building.

 

Everything became a blur when the news lady started talking about the Broker’s building.

 

Or maybe that’s because he felt flat on his face when he tried to get up from the couch.

 

Ignoring how he managed to bring down a nearby lamp along with him - and how said lamp caused a chain reaction of other falling items - he needed to see if the Broker was okay.

 

Unluckily for him, Boss forbid him to ever get the information broker’s number. _Okay so maybe I’d be cat-calling the broker every day, but this is an emergency!_

 

He stomped upstairs, cursing at his brother’s innate ability and timing to lock himself behind his bedroom door.

 

 **_“Boss!”_ ** he yelled, breaking through the lock of the taller skeleton’s door, barely registering the fact that the skeleton was on the phone.

 

“I have to take my leave,” he frowned, staring at the now-splintered entrance of his room.

 

Normally, Red would prepare himself for the yelling he was about to receive, but the adrenaline he got from the news about his information broker was still tingling his bones. However, he still felt the judging gaze of his brother wash over him.

 

“...Stay safe,” he heard him whisper, before shutting off his phone and crossing his arms.

 

“Boss!” he yelled, flailing his arms at his studious brother. “Have you seen the news!? Was that tha Broker!? Are they okay!? Are—”

 

As if pacifying a crying child, Boss stuffed a bottle of mustard into the smaller one’s mouth to combat his wailing.

 

“Yes that _was_ them before you decided to break down my door,” he paused, placing his chin between his fingers as if thinking about something. “But something else came up.”

 

The smaller skeleton left the bottle in his mouth but still managed to speak coherent words. “Whatcha mean by that?”

 

“Remember the human we had to take care of like a pet?”

 

“Human we had to— you mean Leliana?” he replied, gnawing on the opening of the bottle.

 

Boss nodded while giving Red a scrutinizing look— before the edge of his mouth raised into a smirk.

 

 _What’s_ **_his_ ** _problem?_

 

“I was told by the Broker that she’d been captured by the canary brothers while traveling to a rendezvous area.”

 

**_“WHAT!?”_ **

 

“Indeed,” scowled the taller skeleton. “She was kidnapped a few hours ago, and the broker beseeched us to find her—”

 

The taller skeleton cleared his throat and stared into the eyes of his brother.

 

“Actually, the broker wanted to ask _you_ to search for her.”

 

+++

 

Boss watched as the gears turned in his stupidly-easy-to-read brother’s head.

 

As much the canaries’ home was a somewhat safe place for you to . . . _bunker down_ at, he would think otherwise when it comes to the canaries themselves.

 

Though Blue was a wild card at the moment, Boss was relatively certain that no harm would come to you there… his brother was the one who’s bothering him the most. Whether you decided to ignore his sickeningly-sweet infatuation with you or that you are just _that_ **_dense_ ** , Boss didn’t care.

 

He was pretty sure _Orange_ wouldn’t care and go after you like the stray dog that he is.

 

And of course, since it’s Boss’ job is to make sure nothing happened to his very important employer, he must retrieve you from the canaries’ lair.  He will **not** fail and let the sniper event repeat ever again. Nothing less, nothing more.

 

Or his brother can do that for him.

 

_...Speaking of which…_

 

The taller skeleton tilted his head in curiosity when taking into consideration that this was the first time he called the human by name— usually resorting to childish nicknames like “doll” or “babe”.

 

Seems like not only was your persona affecting him, your “true” personality was as well.

 

**_“BOSS!”_ **

 

He blinked twice then frowned at the exasperated skeleton below him. “What is it now?”

 

“Are you alright in the noggin?” growled the smaller one, before laxing in his tone and a slightly worried look grew on his face. “I’ve been yelling at you this whole time.”

 

Boss huffed and shook his head. “I chose to ignore you because of your obnoxious attitude.”

 

“ _Right_ ,” slurred the smaller skeleton as he placed the mustard bottle in his pockets. “I wanted to ask you _why_ they kidnapped Leliana.”

 

 _There it is again. He said your_ **_name_** _._

 

“I suspect it had to deal with her relationship with the Broker,” shrugged the taller skeleton. “If they really do have a soft spot for the human, capturing her would be an ideal bargaining chip when it comes to getting things from the Broker.”

 

Boss didn’t feel bad as he watched his brother build up rage in his tiny, mustard-filled body.

 

Boss wasn’t protective of you— it was just more logical for you to stay with the leaders of the largest brute force in the city.

 

The brute force that _you_ allowed them to take over.

 

 _You_ were the one to find them as mere… _grunts_ but made a rash decision and began pushing them higher and higher in the chain of command by supplying them intel the leader, at that time, did not have.

 

 _You_ were the one who let him and his brother kill the previous leader and take their spot.

 

 _You_ were the one who solidified his position as the underlings went ballistic from the rapid change in leadership.

 

And _you_ were the one they swore their lives to and protect— and they **failed** you.

 

Pushing aside the fact that they could not prevent the loss of your headquarters, the sniper event a few days ago was the reason why Boss felt _off_ lately.

 

Those days of trying to heal your injuries were hell.

 

The poison that affected your body suddenly disappeared after a few days; even the samples that he retrieved evaporated into a black mist, dissipating to his dismay. He didn’t know if it left lasting effects, but you were feeling better so he decided to focus on your more _external_ injuries.

 

While dressing your wounds during the aftermath of the sniper event, he wasn’t alarmed at the _amount_ of wounds peppering your soft, human body— but the location of of a number of them.

 

He felt an odd mix of anger and pity rush through him. **No one** should have been allowed to harm your skin, let alone in such… _distaste._

 

 _“Helloooooooo?”_ waved the tiny one. “You’re spacin’ out again Boss.”

 

He shook his head.

 

_I need to analyze these thoughts of mine later._

 

“I was formulating a plan of sorts,” he stated, watching Red unfolding a map from his jacket. “Do you still remember where they lived?”

 

_A foolish question. His memory is impeccable._

 

“Yeah,” nodded the smaller one, pointing to a lavish area on the map. “Do _you_ need anything before I go ever there ‘n kick their asses?”

 

Boss said no then watched as a red light flash where his brother once stood.

 

With a small sigh, he crossed his arms as he laid back on a nearby table, and let the edge of his mouth lift up in a smirk.

 

“I suppose I should get ready for our new guest.”

 

+++

 

You get up from under Orange and stood between him and a raging Red.

 

“What are you doing here, Red?” you demanded, your eyes trying to travel to the weapon in his hands.

 

He pointed said weapon at the skeleton behind you and snarled. “Saving you from **them**.”

 

“Save?” you sputtered. ”Who said I needed _saving_?”

 

You fought the instinct to move over as Red positioned himself into a charging stance. There was no way in _hell_ you were going to let this meatball mess with the bones of your associate.

 

_That’s your job._

 

Alas, the skeleton _did_ charge, but midway, he teleported behind you and tried to slam the giant bone onto Orange—who teleported back a few meters away and huffed when Red took out the bone from the ground.

 

“Hey, that was my favorite mat,” commented his target.

 

The smaller skeleton raised an eye-bone before letting out a dark chuckle. “Is it now?” he mocked, before chucking the bone at your sparring buddy, only to let the weapon crash into the ground next to him— absolutely destroying that area of the mat in the process.

 

“You did that one purpose,” snarled the taller skeleton as he summoned two smaller bones in each hand.” _Asshole._ ”

 

“I dunno,” laughed the smaller skeleton as the giant bone reappeared in his hands. _“Did I?”_

 

This was getting out of hand, you needed to stop them.

 

“No!” squeaked Blue as he held your arm back. ”You’ll hurt yourself if you get between them!”

 

You tried ignore the blueberry and rush forward, but the little thing had a surprisingly strong grip. “Well then, what do you expect me to do, yell at them again?” you snapped, feeling a little bit of guilt when he flinched from your yelling. “I don’t exactly have Sans’ megaphone to amplify my voice and I need something as loud as—”

 

Your eyes travel to your discarded clothes, causing a metaphorical lightbulb to turn on above your head.

 

“Lily! Where are you going!?”

 

“Trust me!” you yelled back as you dug through the pile to find your gun holster.

  
  
_Eureka._

 

Positioning yourself so that you could fight the recoil, yet still looked like as prideful as Boss, you aimed the gun down at the mat beside you, and shot— alarming the two skeletons in the middle of a fight.

 

“Both of you **shut up** and **stay still** ,” you roared in your Broker voice, demanding obedience from your colleagues while stepping closer. “Next one to move _will_ get pistol whipped to the **moon**.”

 

As if he didn’t hear you, Red took a step towards the other skeleton, resulting in you shooting the spot on the mat right centimeters in front of him.

 

You growled in irritation. _“Red.”_

 

The small skeleton let out a “tch” before letting the big bone fade away into nothingness— as did Orange’s weapon.

 

“Thanks lady,” nodded the taller skeleton, before cocking his waist and let a snarky grin appear on his face. “I’ve always wanted a bullet on my mat. Two’s perfect. Love even numbers.”

 

You rolled your eyes in disbelief whilst putting the safety back on the gun, all while walking back to your clothing pile.

 

Bending over to pick up your stuff, you spun around to see Orange blushing while extremely _fascinated_ with the wall and Red smirking while staring straight at you.

 

“What?”

 

“Oh nuthin’ doll,” he purred. “I don’t wanna be an _ass_ , _butt_ I’m kinda _behind_ the news of the reason why you’re livin’ with the canaries.”

 

You frowned in distaste as Orange gave a sidelong glance at Red. . . then granted a smirk of his own when he turned away. “ _Tush-é”_

 

**_“Oh god damn it, both of you.”_ **

 

+++

 

The four of you ended up meeting in the living room of the Canaries’ home. Not taking notice of the pin-point glares Red was giving Blue (who was on your lap), you asked why he thought _you_ needed to be _saved_.

 

Your jaw slackened as Red told you what exactly Boss told him.

 

 _Why would Boss lie? What would that person even gain by smearing the Canaries’ reputation? The relationship between the two factions is spotty at best, but why would he treat_ **_me_ ** _as blackmail material for, well,_ **_me_ ** _?_

 

You gave a weak smile at Blue as he looked up at you with worried eyes. “As you can see, Red,“ you sighed, patting the blueberry on your lap on the head. “I am as safe as I could be.You didn’t need to come here.”

 

“But he said tha Broker said—”

 

“It doesn’t matter what the Broker said,” you snapped. “I’m pretty damn sure no harm will come to me while I’m at a faction’s _home_.”

 

You hear a hum emanating from Orange, and, by the looks of it, he was pleased at what you said.

 

“Well if you aren’t coming _with_ me, _I_ ain’t leaving you here with them.”

 

Normally, you’d be irritated at how stubborn the meatball could be and would kick him out immediately, but it wasn’t _your_ house. You looked down at the skeleton sitting on your lap in response.

 

“That’s fine!” chirped Blue, much to his brother’s dismay. “The more the merrier! We can all protect Lily!”

 

And with that, the four of you scattered.

 

You weren’t sure how much time passed while you were dozing off on the sofa, but who could blame you? You were out of breath of what just happened, but as your mind wandered, a certain memory popped up causing a welcomed distraction but not-welcomed heat to rise in your nether regions.

 

_Damn Orange. Damn his stories, and damn his sparring._

 

“Lily are you okay?”

 

You jolted and felt a mix of shocked fear and supreme embarrassment hit your face.

 

_Aaaaand this is what it feels like to be caught doing the deed by your children._

 

“Lily?” he repeated once more— and this time you noticed him on your lap. Again.

 

Ignoring a harsh glare coming from the bottom of the stairs, you patted the hands of the blueberry and smiled. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired is all.”

 

As if he was expecting those exact words to come from your mouth, he let out a small giggle and rustled through the pockets of his baby blue vest. “I have just the thing for you!”

 

With an “aha”, he showed you a small candy wrapped in a red plastic. Unraveling it, it revealed a square-shaped block with a little canary engraved in it.

 

“We’re funding the creation of a candy that’s supposed to change tastes the longer it stays in your mouth!” he smiled, bringing the candy closer to his face, and then placed it in your hand. “It’s supposed to also give humans a little bit of energy when they’re tired.”

 

“That’s quite interesting,” you remarked, as you felt the texture in your hand. It was as smooth as caramel block, but left a powdery residue when you picked it up with your other hand.

 

“It’s still in development,” shrugged the tiny one. “But I’ve tasted it and it really does change flavors!”

 

Well, only one way to experience such a thing.

 

You popped the candy into your mouth.

 

At first, you didn’t taste _anything_ and was about to ask Blue if monsters had different taste buds, but that’s when it hit you.

 

Apple. As if the sweetest apple landed on your tongue, you were appalled at how realistic it tasted.

 

Then came nothing but a cool feeling on your tongue.

 

You turned to the small skeleton giggling, and gave raised an eyebrow before salivating over something like citrus.

 

This time, the taste lingered before disappearing into cool nothingness, much like before.

 

“This is astounding,” you commented.

 

“Isn’t it amazing?” he jumped. “The little breaks between each flavor supposedly ‘erases’ all other previous tastes in your mouth so that the next taste will be amplified two-fold.”

 

You were so distracted by the little one, you didn’t see Red strutting over from the stairs and said,”Lemme have a taste.”

 

“Sorry~” sang Blue. “I don’t have anymore~”

 

Red snorted before lifting your head towards him. “Not a problem.”

 

You were about to ask him what he was going to do before you heard a familiar clank between your face and his.

 

Shocked, you released a gasp that allowed something slippery and heated to slip into your mouth to steal your candy— though not before leaving you with the heavy taste of cinnamon and breathless from the dexterity of the muscle as it slid in and out your mouth.

 

“Mm… not bad,” he grinned, staring straight into your startled eyes as he breathed the last words. _”Tastes pretty good.”_

 

Your mind sluggishly registered Orange ripping Red from his feet by his collar with a vice-grip. _“You son of a bitch.”_

 

Red laughed in response and stuck out his tongue, the red appendage that stole your breath. “Sorry pal, I ate it all.”

 

You pinched the bridge of your nose as you felt a headache growing. “You two…”

 

Before you could stop the skeletons from fighting once more, your _main_ phone rang. Surprised and suspicious of who would call _you_ after your base was taken you look at the caller I.D.

 

**Caller: Sans [ 8 (675) 309-XXX ]**

 

“Sans?”

 

 _“broker, leliana, kid, whatever your name is please, you gotta help me,”_ he replied, breathless and voice cracking. By the sounds of it, he was running.

 

“Sans? Is everything alright?” you demanded, receiving wary looks from the skeletons around you. “What’s wrong?”

 

 _“it’s—_ **_damn it!_ ** _fuck, sorry, almost got caught,”_ he coughed then continued running. _“it was my fault. i got complacent with security around him. please, i need help to get him back.”_

 

You felt as if someone punched you right in the gut. Stuttering, you closed your eyes to try to calm yourself. “ **Who** is ‘he’?”

 

You heard Sans stop and take a deep breath.

 

“it’s papyrus,” he whispered.

 

**_“they got papyrus.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 Poor Paps.


	20. The Emporium Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This would have never happened if you just revealed yourself. You’d sooner kill yourself than reveal your identity to Elona’s murderers but due to your stubborn decision, Papyrus is suffering in your place.
> 
> Just like Elona.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Determination!](https://nekonekodemon.tumblr.com/post/151004555004/bittersweetorange-heya-oh-gosh-ive-had-this)  
>  Warning: Very "Tasteful" Material & Vivid Descriptions of Violence

You gently urged Blue off you and gripped your phone closer to your ear.

“What do you need me to do?” you shook your head at the mindless question you spouted out. You needed information on whether or not he was in a position where you  _ could _ help him. ”Or for a better question,  **where the hell are you?** ”

_ “I’m still where they’re keeping paps. i can’t get close enough to see him, but i got that he’s at least alive according to the guards,”  _ he whispered back between gasps.

In the corner of your eye, you noticed Orange dropping Red and motioning you for some sort of explanation. You responded with bits and pieces of the current problem before you heard Sans call out your name rather than whisper it. 

At least it sounds like he’s in a spot safe enough to warrant him to change the volume of his voice.

_ “where are you right now. i’ll head there. this place’s too dangerous for me to stay still at.” _

“I’m at the Canary’s Nest,” you replied, catching too late that it was an easy mark for some kind of  joke.

Instead of hearing some sort of inappropriate one-liner, you felt a tired smirk through the phone.

_ “i see…” _ he paused, before exhaling sharply.  _ ”shoulda figured  _ **_he’d_ ** _ be there for you.”  _

You blinked twice in confusion. “What?”

_ “nothing kid. i’ll see you soon.” _

Despite raising an eyebrow at the sudden end of the call you placed the phone back into your pocket then raised your head to meet with the gazes of the other skeletons around you.

“Well?” drawled the meatball, urging for more information in regards to what happened.

You stood up and proceeded to bend backwards and stretch your bones. “Sans will be here shortly,” you replied, eying how Orange and Red watched you stretch fervently. 

“Oh!” Blue jumped off the couch and clapped his hands. “I have to prepare for his arrival then!” 

“I’ll be happy to assist you, Blue.” you smiled, then glared at the other skeletons who were gawking for some awful reason. “I’m pretty sure the others will too.”

“Wonderful! To the kitchen we go then!”

 

* * *

Every second that ticked by was about as agonizing as someone slowly dragging a knife over your chest, twisting the handle ever so slowly— enough to make you scream for the torturer to just end your misery. 

Not only were you getting worried about how long Sans is taking to get here, you started to see parallelism between the event that erased Elona and Paps’ current situation. 

You eyed the ground with a broken heart. 

This would have never happened if you just revealed yourself. You’d sooner kill yourself than reveal your identity to Elona’s murderers but due to your stubborn decision, Papyrus is suffering in your place.

_ Just like Elona. _

Suddenly, you felt someone squeeze your left shoulder. 

Looking up, you noticed Sans giving you a tired grin— you could see that it was forced, though still a smile. He knew exactly what you were thinking about but instead of making you feel better, his sad smile stung.

You saw Orange’s stiff shoulders visibly relax. “Sans! You made it!” 

“yeah sorry it took so long. i couldn’t really fast travel,” he replied, before pointing to the back of the brown trench coat he was wearing— which was riddled with singed bullet holes. “ **and** i had to hide from a few _enthusiastic_ fans.”

You tuned out the conversation between the skeletons and inspected Sans to see if he was injured. You could see some bullets managed to get to him but it looked like he healed nicely. Other than bruises here and there, you couldn’t see any other injuries— and if he  _ was _ injured, he was really good at hiding them.

“Hey!” you heard someone yell, breaking you out of your stupor. “Maybe we should call Brokey and bring them into this.”

_ Oh no. _

“nah, already called him,” replied Sans as he patted your shoulder and chuckling at your confused gaze. “they told me we could trust the kid here.”

_ Thank you Sans. _

You watched him shove off his bullet-ridden coat and trudge forward, leaving muddy footsteps behind him. “sorry ‘bout the carpet lil’ blue, and thanks for setting up a table.”

“Not a problem Sans!” grinned the blueberry; his bright smile slowly faded into something darker, to the point of him frowning and rubbing his hands anxiously. “I’m sorry for what happened to Paps…”

It hurt when you noticed Sans pause and avoid looking into your direction as he responded with a nod. Still, you walked over next to the grieving skeleton and cleared your throat to try to lift the dark atmosphere around Sans. “What’s the sit rep*, Sans?” 

You heard him chuckle gravely, “about as bad as red’s fashion sense.”

_ ”Hey!” _

“Speaking of which…” Orange mumbled while eying Red. “I thought you guys were protecting him.”

You nod and furrowed your brow. Since Sans can’t be everywhere at one time, he employed the Crimson Crusade to send a few people to watch over Paps 24/7. 

If they were there, they would have alerted their higher-ups about an attacker.

“How did this even happen?” you asked Red. “I thought you had people watching his house.”

“Yeah we do,” he growled. “Well,  _ did  _ I guess _.  _ I never got a message saying that our guys in that area got dusted. Maybe Boss might know more.”

_ It might be a good idea to bring him here. _

You faced the small meatball and gripped his shoulders.“Red, I need you—”  you ignored how he suddenly perked up. “— to go pick up Boss and bring him here. Tell him it’s an emergency.”

You turned away as a red flash engulfed the room and faced the table once more.

After a few moments, Blue spoke up. “Well, pushing aside whatever happened to the brutes surrounding your home, I doubt Paps went with them quietly.”

You felt a chill go through your spine as Sans stayed quiet, whipped out his phone, and began going through it.

“Sans?” asked Orange.

“here,” he replied, tight-lipped as a skeleton could be. “watch this.”

 

* * *

It took a bit of squinting but through the static covering the screen, you could see that it was a recording from the upper level of his home.

“whoever decided to pay a visit was at least smart enough to disable all my alarms and cameras,” commented Sans as he placed the phone on the table so that everyone could see better. “i managed to scavenge something through a camera i embedded on my bedroom door.”   
Sans paused as if he was going to saw something else but he shook his head and pointed at his phone. You all stayed quiet as Paps slowly came into view. He was sitting down on the sofa while reading what looked like speech papers.

There was no audio recording, but you could tell he was reading (and acting it out) with enthusiasm.

Papyrus then looked up at the door as if someone was there, and then looked at his phone and time.

The recording then skips to Papyrus looking through a peephole on the door and saying something. You noticed his hands devoid of papers, and instead he wielded a long, staff-like bone in one hand and the door knob with the other.

You watched as he slowly opened the door in a fighting stance then desummon the bone and relax. You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Paps began talking with whoever was at the door, but you began to notice him getting steadily suspicious to the point of backing up as a brown foot stepped into his home.

Sans stiffened next to you when Paps re-summoned his weapon and point it at the individual at his door step.

You then saw how Paps jumped back the exact moment a black scorch mark appeared at his feet, which you assumed was a bullet. It was then you let out a wordless cry as a blurry figure dressed in black suddenly appeared behind Paps and slammed what looked like a cane behind the knees of the tall skeleton as if they swung a bat, destabilizing the skeleton.

You froze as the blur on the figure lifted.

They were wearing a motorcycle helmet that looked identical to yours.

Before you could even contemplate why they would wear something like that, you watched Paps fall down like a rag doll and look up at the person behind him in a daze.

By the looks of it, the being said something to Paps which made the skeleton’s eyes widen in reaction before the being stabbed something in the back of the skeleton’s head. You stared in horror as Paps’ normally-energetic-body fell like a lifeless puppet whose strings were cut. 

As if adding salt to an injury, the being’s head suddenly whipped to the camera and you felt a smirk being thrown at you.

**_That son of a bitch._ **

The video ended and you stood still, glaring at the table, thinking about what happened. A barrage of questions as well as pseudo answers ran through your mind.

_ Why did they go for Paps in the first place? Was it due to the whim of the person who killed Elona? Where were the guards that were surrounding his home? Were they all assassinated? _

_ Why did Paps open the door in the first place? Did he think the person was the Broker because of the helmet?  If the person under the helmet was smart enough to get rid of the other cameras, why did they leave this one? Did they  _ **_want_ ** _ us to hunt them down?  _

**_They didn’t set a trap… did they?_ **

 

* * *

  
“I see.”

It was the only thing said after a prolonged silence filled the table. You don’t know who said it, as you were still reeling from the questions running through your head. 

You saw Orange pat his sniffling brother’s back then turn to Sans.

“Rabid fans aside,” began Orange as he crossed his arms, “I’m guessing you found out where they brought him if those holes meant anything.”

The small skeleton let out a small sigh and chuckle weakly. “yeah, they brought him to the Emporium.”

You felt your jaw slacken. “W—”

**“WHAT!?”** screamed Orange.

A flash of red light covered the room and a rather pissed-off Boss appeared along with his little companion. The tall skeleton then raised a skeleton-equivalent of an eyebrow at Orange.

“What do you mean by ‘ what ’?” he asked.

You pinched the bridge of your nose to postpone the upcoming headache. “Papyrus seems to be at Muffet’s Emporium.”

You watched Boss frown in distaste while a wild smile grew on Red’s.

The red meatball walked closer to the table. “You mean the—” 

“yeah,” Sans replied, cutting him off.

“The one where—”

“Mhm, shut up,” hissed Orange.

“With the jiggling—”

You slammed your fist on the table.  **“YES RED. SHUT UP.”**

The three of you groan as Red out a bark of laughter.

“I’m glad one of us enjoys the idea of that place…” grumbled Blue as Boss brushed off the scene with grace and walked over to the table.

“ _ anyways _ ,” chimed Sans, “i managed to stalk the place and find the vicinity of where paps was located last time i was there.”

“but you know how that ended up.” He pointed his chin to his jacket that was now hanging on a chair then stared up into the ceiling. “oh, and to make things even better, i think the lady in charge of that place found out about my little shooting range and now we have to go through  _ her _ .”

_ Aghhhh… _

You liked the owner of those lands, but damned if you like doing  _ business _ with her. “You don’t think she’s helping whoever’s  _ behind _ all this, do you?” 

Orange shook his head. “I don’t think so. She’s pretty neutral when it comes to anything that happens outside her little funhouse.”

“However, she’s prone to accepting... _ donations _ when one wants to do anything in her territory,” added Boss.

“Oh yeah, she really does,” nodded Red as if he was some kind of all-knowing wise ass. “I mean, whenever I’m there I’d have to pay like—”

Orange flipped the hood of Red’s jacket while Boss glared daggers at his brother. “Silence you fool.”

The rest of the conversation at the table went fairly smoothly in regards to who’s going to do what.

Boss and Red will bring a group of hirelings and stay hidden until you, Sans, and Orange convince Muffet to let them make a mess. Afterwards, the duo will go on ahead and sneak into the building as the infiltration team. 

Despite Blue’s complaints, Orange firmly told his brother to stay home in case something bad happens and the whole plan goes awry. Since time is of the essence, you all decided the sooner you do this, the better.

“Wait! Before you go, take this!” said Blue as he handed each person what looked like a small device that could fit in your right ear. He then handed you a handheld device that turned on when you touched the screen. You look down at the ear device in your other hand and turned it around to see three buttons, all with different colored bone-stickers. 

“The first button works as a power button. The second one mutes the communication you’re receiving, letting your work in peace. Finally, if you press the last one, you’ll be able to talk to one another!” he grinned, letting his business persona take over. “It also works as a locator so Lily will be able to keep track of everything!”

You nod a thank you as you placed the device in your ear then paused when you noticed something. Looking up, you met eye to eye with each one of the skeletons. “How do you guys wear it? You don’t exactly have ears.”

“magic.” replied Sans.

“But—”

“Trust me, it’s easier to just blame it on our magic.” laughed Orange.

 

* * *

With Sans on your left and Orange on your right, the three of you walked through a street filled with bright lights and  _ tasteful _ images.

“Well, Muffet certainly has great taste,” Orange commented sarcastically.

“oh hey kid, the one looks like you.”

You nearly tripped mid-step as you saw Sans point to a very lewd sign that did  **indeed** look like you. “I- I don’t--”

Orange snickered and nudged your shoulder. “Never knew humans were  _ that _ flexible.”

“neither did i,” winked Sans. “you keeping something from us?”

You rushed forward, ignoring the two smirking skeletons and ended up at a purple door in a small building. The three of you were met with a small skeleton holding a sign to enter a camouflaged door in the side of the building.

Orange quietly closed the door behind you. “Pretty damn inconspicuous entry, to say the least.” You were met with a long, dark hallway and you would have tripped on your own feet if it weren’t from the tiny little guiding lights embedded into the carpet of the hall.

However, the moment the door clicked close, the walls of the hall erupted into light and they turned out to be see-through windows showing explicit scenes of humans… copulating with monsters.

_ Holy hell. _

You felt an odd heat rise up your neck whilst speed walking through the long hallway with the skeletons in tow. Curiously, you managed to sneak a peek behind you. Whilst Orange became incredibly fixated at the carpet, you met Sans’ dark, heated gaze.

_ Holy _ **_hell_ ** _. _

Trying not to think about what signals Sans is sending, you ended up walking to a tiny, cozy dark purple room with your everyday office desk in front of  **a ginormous T.V. wall of a** **_certain tall skeleton_ ** **banging a blurred out monster.**

Orange sputtered and nearly toppled in surprise. “I- I- I- ”

Sans watched the scene with a jaw dropped. “holy…”

“Shit,” you gaped, finishing his sentence.

While her pigtails swung to and fro as if dancing to an invisible beat, her fuchsia-colored dress was the thing that depicted her whimsical appearance. However to the trained eye, or to someone at least a tiny bit sober, she was the most calculating woman you could ever meet— always keeping everyone under a watchful eye (or eye[s] in her case) and will do anything in her power to gain money.

“Well well, welcome back Orange dear,” she said, pulling you from your thoughts.

Orange was still hunched over in shock. “I-”

“I must say, you were quite the  **beast** _ , _ ” giggled Muffet. “I’ve had multiple customers  _ begging  _ to know who you were.”

The tall skeleton stood ramrod-straight and pointed a finger at her. **“THIS IS AN INVASION OF MY PRIVACY!** ” he screeched, glaring daggers at the spider monster.  **“I THOUGHT I DELETED THAT VIDEO!”**

Sans took a step back as if someone just shoved him then turned to Orange. “dude…” he squinted. “did you record that  _ yourself?” _

“W-wha… uh...no, I um…”

“He did indeed!” clapped Muffet as one of her hands waved a remote of some kind. “Infact, I have a few more videos that recorded his  _ expertise _ .” 

“bro…”

You and Orange accidently met each other's eyes and quickly looked away. You cleared your throat and ignored how your whole body began to heat up as grunts and moans echoed throughout the velvety room. 

“Anyways, Muffet, I have a request to make.”

“Oh,” she hummed— eyes roaming your body. “Don’t we all?”

Despite the fact that Orange lent you one of his giant sweaters you still felt a chill go down your spine.

“I have word that one of my companions got kidnapped and taken to somewhere on your territory.”

You watched as she leaned back in her chair while a spider came out and poured her some tea. “So I’ve heard,” she said, waving away the spider. “ _ Papyrus _ was his name, wasn’t it?”

You saw Sans about to rush towards her, but you held out your arm to push him back. “you  **bitch** . you  _ knew _ they took him, but you didn’t stop them!?”

The lewd video behind her paused then faded into a bird’s eye view of the Emporium. Muffet then placed down the teacup, stood up, and turned to the screen. “I’d prefer you to call me by my proper name,  _ Mr. Sans _ , less I permanently remove you from my lands.”

You heard Sans growl “i’d like to see you try”, but he lowered your arm— however, he did not let go of your hand, and instead, gripping it.

“Now’s not the time to make enemies Muffet, I need your permission to cross your turf,” you said once more.

“And you have it.”

You blinked once. Twice. “Just like that?”

The monster twirled around and nodded. “Indeed.”

While you squinted, Orange held out his arms exasperated. “Okay, what the hell are you planning. We didn’t even give you anything yet.”

You honestly expected to pay her a hefty sum that Blue constantly whined about.

She turned to Orange with a malicious grin, “I  _ could  _ take payment from you again, dear Orange, if you wish.”

**“I REFUSE—”**

“Alas, I’ve already received a generous donation from a,” she met your gaze with observant eyes. “ _ secret admirer. _ ”

What?

You squinted suspiciously. “Who was it?”

“My!” she placed a hand on her chest as if I mortally insulted her. “The Broker would be absolutely astonished to hear you ask such a question in  _ such _ a brazen way.”

You let out a raspberry. The only person other than Elona who knew your identity was the one sitting in front of you, which was also another reason why you despised going here. Hell, a few days after you became the Shadow Broker, you received a ‘celebratory gift basket’, which was delivered to you by a group of tiny spiders.

“I’m  _ pretty _ sure the Broker would have notified me of an advanced payment,” you huffed, crossing your arms in defiance. “Who gave you the money, Muffet?”

_ Was it the same person who helped me find  out what happened to Elona? _

She shook her head and gave me a sympathetic smile. “Sorry dear, sharing names is bad for business. Privacy is my forte after all.”

“Bullshit,” you heard Orange grumble.

“However, they  _ did _ leave a message,” she motioned a spider to hand you an envelope. 

Turning the envelope around, you noticed three words etched onto the cover.

**Save The Man.**

You heard Sans curse as you opened the envelope to reveal a map of a building— and where Paps was located.

“Before you say anything about it being a trap, your dear friend was indeed there.”

You felt Sans tighten his hand around yours in anger. “and you did nothing about it,” he spat. “you did  **nothing** about the fact that they’re keeping my  **b r o t h e r .”**

Muffet merely shrugged and sat back down. “Being neutral is how I’ve lived my life. Being a part of something will cause the opposing factions to attack.”

“Besides,” she paused and took a sip of her tea. “How will helping another bound monster benefit me in anyway? I would just cause someone of great interest to antagonize me.”

Shaking your head at how the monster was baiting Sans, you nod your thanks to Muffet after one more look through the map.

“Now, since our business is done,” she shooed you with all but two of her hands. “Please leave as I have customers to deal with.”

As the three of you turn around, you heard Muffet call out the word, “Human.”

You look back and tilt your head in question. “Yes?”

“You look like you need to be laid,” she started, then continued without letting you interject. “So next time you come here, I’ll give you a discount.”

You let out an awkward chuckle and rubbed your left arm with your right hand. “Thanks but no thanks, I’d prefer not to get something from one of your workers.”

“How rude, my employees are completely clean” she replied whimsically then stared straight into your eyes. “Besides, I wasn’t offering one of  _ them _ .”

**Oh.**

_ “O-KAY. LET’S GO.”  _ Orange yelled out before carrying you over his shoulders and running through the hallway with Sans.

Meanwhile, you swore you heard a “huhuhu” get drowned out as the lewd videos came back.

 

* * *

 

 

At first you wondered if any of the skeletons could just teleport to Paps and teleport out using the blueprints of the map, they said otherwise due to something about the location of the room was tricky and that they would likely end up  **in** the ceiling and/or floor, so it was back to the original plan.

The building itself was your regular, abandoned office building that was situated, thankfully, in an abandoned area. That meant no collateral damage in terms of civilian lives once a firefight erupted.

While Sans and Orange got into position near a backway entrance of the building, you got situated on the roof of a nearby building, the map, Blue’s radar, and a pair of binoculars in hand. 

While running up the building, you told Boss’ group a summary of what transpired at Muffet’s, deciding to opt out the details of Orange’s escapades. 

After a few more minutes, you heard Red through the comm system in your ear. “We’re in position. We’ll let you know when it’s show time.”

“Good,” you replied. “Sans, Orange?”

“We’re all clear here,” whispered the tall skeleton. “We saw some of the guards as we got here.”

You picked up the binoculars and eyed one of the people walking around. “They look like mercenaries with all their gear—”

“and the fact that they can actually shoot,” interjected Sans.

“Roger. And you memorized where Paps’ located right?”

“yeah, just gotta make sure we get past the people behind this door.”

Boss huffed. “I suppose it’s a good thing we’re here to divert their attention then. Get ready.”

“Speaking of which,” chimed Orange. “How will we know when you—”   
**_BOOM_ **

Suddenly, a massive explosion rocked both buildings, making your heart jump as you felt  _ your _ building lurch a little due to the shockwave.

“what the  **hell!?** are they  _ trying  _ to kill us!?” was the last thing you heard from Sans until gunshots (with a side of loud nyehehes) came from Boss and Red. 

You peered through the binoculars once more to see most of the guards head towards the explosion. “Orange, Sans, there were a few smart ones that stayed behind. You’re going to have to deal with those.”

“Got it,” replied Orange.

You heard a beep, and looked down at the device Blue gave you. You noticed two bleeps moving from a static position then began zigzagging. Orange and Sans. On the other side of the radar, you noticed two bleeps going around in circles. You weren’t sure who was who, but you were pretty damned certain they were the same people who almost threw you off the building.

Though you knew it didn’t matter, you picked up the binoculars to see if you could see Boss and Red. However, they were at the other side of the building, and you had to keep an eye out for Sans and Orange as they were the main part of this mission. 

Speaking of which, turning back to the dots, you released a breath as they were doing relatively fine.

A few moments passed as you notified Sans and Orange of incoming waves while Boss and Red letting out wild, bloodcurdling laughs. Everything was going according to plan.

All until you started to hear yelling from one of the skeleton’s com. 

“Is everything alright?” you asked.

“Yeah, some of them found us and I’m pretty sure they relayed that info back to whomever’s head honcho,” Orange grunted. “Damn it, fighting’s not really my forte when it comes to large groups.”

“you know what they say about people who can’t fight,” laughed Sans.

“Sans,” breathed Orange, exasperated.

“if they can’t fight…”

“SANS. NOT NOW.”

“they can’t fu—”

**“ON YOUR LEFT!”**

You jumped and nearly tore out your comm as an ear-piercing, metallic screech ripped through your device. 

_ “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?” _ demanded Boss.

“Sans!” you yelled. “Report!”

“It’s— i’m fine,” coughed Sans. “i just got caught off guard.”

“Serves you right,” you heard Orange swat Sans on the back of the head.

“t’was only a joke, range ol’ buddy. besides,” you can feel him smirk for some reason. “i’m pretty sure me and the kid saw what you could do back in—”

“YOU TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FOCUSING ON YOUR JOB.” You could feel disdain oozing from Boss’ words.

“Eh, let them go Boss,” laughed Red. “I wanna hear what the smoker’s hiding from us.”

“IT’S NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMNED BUSINESS.” replied the skeleton in question.

_ Jesus Christ. _

__

* * *

 

 

A few more moments passed until the infiltration team reached their goal. “kid! we found papyrus. he’s injured and unconscious i’m teleporting out with—”

You held your breath as you heard a grunt then Orange yelling  **“SANS!”**

“Orange what happened!?” you asked.

“There was someone hiding and stabbed Sans with a syringe.” You heard him throw something, shattering it. “I got rid of the attacker, but now I have to carry both him  _ and _ Papyrus.”

“I can’t teleport with both of them, and I don’t think I could survive jumping off of here so I gotta run downstairs again.”

“Roger,” you unhooked the gun from your side. “I’m coming to—”

Suddenly, a scream erupted from your comm and a flash of red light illuminated the evening sky. 

“Brok— Human, we need assistance,” roared Boss. “My soon-to-be-dead allies turned on us. They caught my brother off guard and knocked him out.”

“I’m currently pinned down.”

“Shit.”

_ Think think think. _

You trust both of their abilities, but you are the deciding factor on whether not the party will come out relatively unharmed. 

Despite the fact that the only thing you have is the revolver and a few extra bullets in your pockets, you’re a pretty damned good shot. 

But you still have to run down your building.

After covering Red and Boss on the other side of the building, will you have enough energy to climb nearly 40 flights of stairs to assist Orange or vice versa?

No. No matter how good your aim was, you could never be in two places at once.

**You had to make a choice.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sit rep = situation report


	21. Regrettable Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you to the wonderful Costumebleh for helping me with this chapter <3  
> UPDATE: Once again thank you costumebae (<3) for helping me with this chapter. I moved the smut to a different location to drop the rating though!
> 
> All smut will now be relatively obvious, but if they're not, they will be marked with a ~*~*~*~.

Through the pleading of the voices, you heard a faint revving noise rolled in your earpiece as you ran down the stairs of your building.

  
“Lily, I’m on my way!” yelled Blue. “Please go save my brother! I’ll be there very soon!”

 

“No!” bellowed Boss, inaudible exhaustion oozing from his voice. “We need assistance _now_.”

 

“You can go help Boss,” coughed a running Orange. “I think I’m safe for now, but I’ll probably need your help soon.”

 

“No no! You need to go help my brother, Lily!” pleaded the blueberry. “I’ll go help Boss I’m only a few blocks away!”

 

“YOU WON’T MAKE IT IN TIME. WE NEED HER HELP **NOW**.”

 

You slowed your sprint near the bottom of the stairs to think of what to do.

 

The one who needed immediate assistance was Boss, but if you were to go help him, you would risk losing Orange to guards that suddenly had a brain to check inside the building. Actually… Not only would you lose Orange, you would also lose Sans and Papyrus. On the other hand, if you were to go help _him,_ you would likely (and most definitely) lose Boss and possibly Red. But you managed to complete the rescue mission.

 

**_Complete the mission at all costs._ **

 

You bite your lip, shaking off the chill rising up your spine. With a heavy heart, you placed your hand by the ear piece.

 

“The mission must go on.”

 

The voices in the comm silenced for a few seconds while gunfire rang through the back.

 

_“The Shadow Broker will hear of your regrettable decision, human.”_

 

With Boss’ disapproving reply, you headed towards the backdoor of the building.

 

* * *

 

With Papyrus on his back and Sans in his arms, Orange silently thanked every deity he knew because you were coming up to help him.

 

He felt kind of bad leaving Boss and his brother (Gods help him if he ever was in a position like that with Blue) but he was kind of lying when he said that he was in a safe spot.

 

Peering through the door he and Sans found Papyrus behind, he could see multiple armed men scouting the hallway on one end. He could always teleport one skeleton with him quickly down the stairs, or just down the hall; but with the guards quickly advancing to his location, he decided otherwise.  He would not make it so that one of his (unconscious) friends would be at their mercy.

 

Taking a deep breath, he silently slipped through the door and went down the flight of stairs opposite of where the guards were coming up from.

 

Every few steps, he had to hole up behind a litter of boxes as a few enemies were coming up his way. Papyrus actually slipped from his back once, causing Orange to throw him over his shoulders like a sandbag- while he balanced Sans in his arms- as he ran through the door of a hallway and into a storage room.

 

“How far are ya, lady?” Orange whispered, hoping that you were almost to where he was.

 

He held his breath for a few moments as all he heard was gunshots and curses ringing from Boss’ end and Blue’s motorcycle. “I’m almost halfway on the west stairwell. Where do we meet?”

 

Placing Papyrus and Sans down, he peeked through the door to see numerous guards patrolling the hallway. “I’m about half-way too. Tell me what floor you’re on, hide somewhere, and tell me where—”

 

At that very moment, he felt a earth-quaking  explosion from below the building. “What the hell was that!?” he exclaimed while peering through the door. To his relief, he saw the guards running towards the eastern stairwell, but still… _what was that!?_

 

“Bad news,” grunted what sounded like a heavily-injured Boss. “They finally had the smarts to start using the explosives we brought with us.”

 

“And…” he heard you start. “Exactly how _many_ did you bring?”

 

“We arrived here with five… “ replied Boss, pausing for half a second. “..So that makes it so there’s 3 more bombs.”

 

Orange placed Papyrus over his shoulders once more and bent down to pick up Sans. Before he could steadily hold up Sans, another explosion rocked the building, causing him to drop the small skeleton and cursing when said skeleton made the universal face that screamed “ow”.

 

“...Make it _two.”_

 

* * *

 

You slid behind a dark, tiny closet room, cursing when the third explosion hit— causing a broom to fall on your head.

 

“How long until you get here, Blue?” you whispered while reloading your gun and aiming it at the door.

 

“I’m barely entering the Emporium!” he whined, air constantly hitting the microphone of his ear piece. “I actually had to convince the police to let me by!”

 

You blinked twice before replying. “Wait. There’s a police force in Muffet’s territory?”

 

Knowing Muffet’s night-time activities, you had reason to believe that Muffet _paid_ the police to stay out of her lands. “What would cause them to appear _now_?”

 

“I’m not sure,” commented Blue. “But I saw her talking very angrily to the head of the police department who, by the way, said something about Brokey being here!”

 

_Crap._

 

“The Broker’s here?” Orange asked. “I thought they sent the lady to help us because they were busy.”

 

“I don’t know! I was busy slipping money into the palms of an officer!”

 

“...What a way to convince people, bro.”

 

 _“WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP AND HURRY UP DOWN HERE!?”_ Boss yelled angrily.

 

You patiently waited a moment or two, before noticing the door opening. Quickly, you aimed your gun at the head of your would-be attacker.

 

“Whoa whoa!” exclaimed the large figure. “Easy there lady, I didn’t come all this way just for you to shoot me.”

 

Once your eyes got used to the light peering through the door, you let out a breath of relief. “Orange, how’d you find me so fast?” you exclaimed, standing up. “I forgot to tell you where I was.”

 

You watched him try to rub his neck but stopped when he remembered Papyrus was clinging on like a backpack and that Sans was in his arms. “I just followed the trail of bodies.”

 

Exiting the room, you finally had the conscious to feel a little bit bad about the ash and bloody bodies leading to your room.

 

* * *

 

With Sans now on your shoulders, you and Orange agreed to place the unconscious brothers next to the building you were in. The two of you were thankful for the fact that most of the guards left the building, leaving a few stragglers to try and stop you two.

 

Since Orange was teleporting in front of you, he made quickly got rid of them by the time you ran to his position.

 

“Blue! Are you here yet!?” you heard Orange yell into his comm. You heard nothing but static.

 

You heard Orange curse as he increased the speed of his teleportations, leaving you to catch up -nearly ready to collapse- by the time you reached the first floor. “Or-” you coughed, clearing your throat when he turned around with a concerned look on his face. “Orange, you- you go drop Paps, ahead, I’ll watch Sans.”

With an understanding nod, as well as an apologetic look, he teleported away, leaving you to catch your breath on the stairwell with Sans on your lap. Though your arms felt weak, you lifted a hand to your ear to turn on your mic. “Boss, how are you holding up?”

 

You felt regret pooling in the bottom of your heart when all you heard were grunts and shooting. “Good enough, I think the idiots are finally getting tired.”

 

Acknowledging what he said, you got up and started carrying Sans again. Despite the fact that he said the firefight was getting lenient, _why did this sense of foreboding not ease up?_

 

The building suddenly lurched to one side, the creaking of metal ever so amplified since you were in the stairwell. Running outside to save your ears from the screeching sounds, you yelled for the rest of your team to reply.

 

You were mortified when Orange said he was coming back while Boss stayed silent. “Boss! Respond!”

 

 _“Nyeheh…_ ” you heard him groan. “That was a bit hazardous. The bomb went off on a floor above me.”

 

“But you’re okay, right edge-lord?” asked Orange as he teleported in front of you to pick him off your shoulders. You two exchanged looks as Boss took a deep breath before he replied.

 

“I’ve made a slight miscalculation,” he hummed, a tinge of despair oozing from his tone. “They were smarter than I realised.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I found the last bomb,” he stated as Orange began teleporting to the other building. “It’s on the slab of stone that fell during the explosion.”

 

“I can’t disable it, and there’s a timer on it.”

 

**_“You have 10 seconds to save my brother and I.”_ **

 

* * *

 

 **10 -** Turning away from Orange, you began running towards Boss.

 

 **9 -** With Blue nowhere to be seen nor heard, you upped your jog to a sprint.

 

 **8** \- You felt an arm wrap around your midriff and lift you off your feet.

 

 **7** \- You felt a familiar surge of nausea fill your body.

 

 **6** \- When you finally got your bearings, you noticed that you were a number of meters away from another pair of skeletons who were hiding behind a fallen column.

 

 **5** \- Because you suddenly appeared out of nowhere, the few who were perceptive enough to notice you pulled their attention away from Boss, who alerted the others to fire at you as well.

 

 **4** \- Good news: you managed to roll behind some sort of makeshift cover _and_ allowed Orange to stealthily teleport to Boss and Red. Bad news: you felt angry bullets whizzing above your head.

 

 **3 -** Peeking through a crack in the cover, you noted Orange trying to pull Boss up but both skeletons froze when Boss looked down. In a desperate attempt to save time, Boss threw Red at Orange all whilst yelling at him.

 

 **2-** Somehow, you felt like Boss knew that you were looking at him. Straining your eyes, you noticed that he was mouthing something.

 

**1**

 

**_You blacked out._ **

 

* * *

 

Ơ̴h̢͟͏ ̢m͡y҉ ͏s̢w͏eet̷͟ ̸̧ļ̛i̧͘̕t̷̛t͘ļ͘e̵̡ b͟͞l̷̛ų̷ę̵҉b̵̢̢ir̷͜d̵͡,̢ ͏̧s͘͟i͘n͡g̷ ͠f̶o͡r̕ ̸͞me̴͢.͡

 

_I don’t want to do this anymore._

 

Y͜ou̷̕ hav̶͘e͟ ͢n͢o̡͟ c̢h̛͟o̷͟͝i͢c̶͠e͜͟ ̛i̕n̨͡ ̵͝t̸̢h̵i͡ş.̸ ̵

 

_All I need to do is get rid of you. Nothing’s going to happen to me anymore once you’re gone._

 

M̵y̡ ̷̡s̵͟w͜͝e͘e̕t̵͝ ̸l̛͝i͢͞ttle͝ ̶̧b̵̛lu͏̴̵e̛͢͜b̕i̡̕rd̶̛.͜ ͟S̕͘͞o͏̴͝ ͝͝ną̶i̡v̵e̶͠.̧͟ Y̢͜o̢͢͡u ͢͡wi̸l̶̷l͜ ͠l͘͝e͠a̴r̨͏̶n i̡͟͏n͜ ̶t͡i͝mȩ͝ ̧ t͟͠h͟͝at ̕yo͏ų̢ ͞c͟a̴n̢ ̶n̸͘ot͟ ģ̧et͘ ̴r͟i͞d̷̨ ̸͢͝o̢f̡͝ ͘m̧͟e̕.̨͠͡

 

I͚̠̅ͫ̿͑ ̷̨̝̼̺̫͚͔̻̣ͧͫ̈́ͩ̎w̴̢̥͍̙̃̒̑i͕̦̎̀͝l͔͎͍̓ͬͭ̈́̇̎͢l̸̗̣̱̝̺͔̹̇̇̋̌̉ ̞͖̘͈̹̞͇̟̓ͮ͑̌͛̐͜͝r̛̦͚̠ͬ̎ͭe̷͙͉̺̻͕͌̌ͮ̈t̫͙̭̥̼ͬ́ͫů̖̼̖̇ͫ̈́̔ř͇͊͢ñ̩̦̭̩ͦͦͫ͌̋.̴̑̏͂͑̾͏̳̯͓͈̮̟̮

 

 **_“NO—_ ** _oof!_ **_”_ **

 

Blinking multiple times, you look around to see that you have fallen off the couch of Blue and Orange’s house. Getting off the floor, you sat back down on the couch to gather your thoughts on what happened before you passed out.

 

You and Orange managed to get Sans and Papyrus to safety… Then arriving at the designated spot, you and him rushed over to Boss. The last thing you remember was Red being thrown at Orange then...

 

Boss! Is he okay? He looked like he was going to—

 

**Bzzt bzzt**

 

You felt an odd vibration from underneath you. Peering through the blanket, you realised that you were sitting on both of your phones. Looking at the caller ID, you found out that it was Boss who was calling your main phone!

 

Throwing off the covers, you sat up and hurriedly placed the phone next to your ear.“Boss? Are you alright? What hap—”

 

_“Ya made a mistake, Shadow Broker.”_

 

What?

 

You paused in getting up to the door outside when you connected the voice to a name. “Red…?”

 

 _“Yeah it’s me,”_ he snarled, sounding very spiteful of you. _“I borrowed my bro’s phone since he never lets me get your number.”_

 

“Alright,” you replied, sitting back down. “How’s his condition and what do you mean ‘mistake’?”

 

He growled, letting his words rumble with each syllable. _“Ya shouldn’t have made the chick lead this mission. It’s_ ** _your fault_ ** _that my bro’s been seriously injured.”_

 

“My _fault_?” you furrowed your eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

 

 _“I’m guessin’ that you got a report of what went down so I won’t tell you it again._ **_She made the choice to leave my brother alone despite the fact that he said he needed help._ ** _”_

 

You shivered at how fast he was getting increasingly angry. “There was no choice in the matter Red. The mission was to continue no matter the cost. You know that—”

 

 _“_ ** _I DO!_** _”_ he yelled, voice filled with anguish. **_“_** _It don’t change the fact that if you were here instead of her, or that you sent us someone actually_ ** _reliable_** _my bro might be still awake!!!”_

 

…

 

“How bad are his injuries?”

 

 _“It’s bad. Tha explosion was literally next to him so he took the brunt of the blast, ”_ he took a deep breath as if to calm himself from something. _“I managed to get one of my friends whossa scientist to help and she did what she could but… he won’t be able to move for a while.”_

 

“...I’m sorry Red.”

 

 _“Yeah well, I’m just callin’ to let ya know something,”_ he whispered, the growling ever so slightly returning. _“It was her decision—in extension, her fault— to go help the other team so I’m givin’ ya a heads up. If I_ ** _ever_** _see that chick again, I’m gonna have a_ ** _good time_** _.”_

 

**Beep**

 

“...Great,” you sighed, sinking into the sofa while gripping the phone like a lifeline.

 

Of _all_ the people who could have began to hate you, it just had to be Red and (possibly) Boss.

 

_It was all your fault._

 

You managed to save two factions, but at the cost of a large, important one.

 

_It was all your fault, you wasteful piece of shit._

 

And now Boss is immobile for an unknown length of time and Red is out to kill you.

 

_And It was all your fault, you wasteful, self-deprecating broken trash of a human._

 

“kid?”

 

* * *

 

 

The moment the phone call ended, he knew that he had to do something. _Anything_ to get that empty look off your face.

 

God, he hated it when people cried.

 

You smiled, wiping away your tears. “Sans, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

 

The small skeleton walked around the couch and sat right next to you. “a bit sore but i’m fine. how about you kid? you look like shit.”

 

You returned with a weak chuckle that clenched his heart. He still felt kind of bad that you were pretty much forced to make the decision but he was secretly thankful for choosing to help Orange help Papyrus and him.

 

“I’m doing fine, I’m just worried for Boss and Red,” you replied, trying to put on a smile for him. “How’s Paps?”

 

Sans let a soft smile appear on his face and scooted closer to you. “i uh, actually wanted to thank you for that. he got away with minor injuries so uh, thanks kid.”

 

Truth be told, Paps was nearly injury-free if it weren’t for the bump on his head and a tiny, mosquito-sized mark on his neck. Sans rubbed his neck, feeling a shiver run down his spine when he remembered he too got stabbed with something.

 

“Sans?”

 

He looked up at his name being called to see you looking down at him with compassionate eyes, ever so slightly glittering thanks to the remnants of tears.

 

Don’t look at him like that.

 

He won’t be able to hang on much longer.

 

He looked away but felt a hand tilt his chin up to your face, this time even closer than before. “Sans, what’s wrong?”

 

* * *

 

You blinked twice when you felt a tap on your lips. Instead of looking down, your head was now looking straight ahead towards a skeleton who was holding your head in between his hands.

 

You held your breath as you felt a very familiar tap on your lips once more. This time, the skeleton’s eyes were filled with asking your permission for something.

 

And you gave it to him.

 

The moment you parted your lips, you felt a warm sensation enter your mouth. Unlike the sweet taste of Orange, Sans was more acidic, causing your body to arch a little from his tongue.

 

For moments, you could do little else than press yourself closer, letting yourself delve into the sensation of the heated kiss. Breath mangling, it wasn't anything beautiful or coordinated like some liked to describe it. Awkward misses, hands roaming, tugging at clothes hesitantly, but then with more vigour as you both let loose.

 

“kid, i can’t deal with this anymore,” he moaned, placing his head on your shoulders. “ _please_ let me know now.”

 

Without hesitation, you turned your head to lick the indentation between his skull and spine.

 

Apparently, that was all that he needed.

 

One minute you were sitting on the sofa with him, next you were on a bed with him on top of you. Looking around, you noticed that you two were in Orange’s room.

 

As if sensing your uneasiness, he kissed your neck, sending sparks of lust to your nether regions. “no worries kid,” he whispered. “range’s at his gym. he’s not gonna come here any time soon.”

 

You nodded, and he began travelling down your body, slowly raising your shirt above your head.

 

Wait.

 

**NO.**

 

You felt the hurt emanating from Sans’ confused soul when you scooted away from him like a scared child. “kid…?”

 

Trembling, you shook your head to clear the memories away. “I’m so sorry Sans. It’s just— I just—”

 

You felt your heart crack as you saw the lights go out from Sans’ eyes, blush fading away. “i understand, kid.” he mumbled, getting off the bed. “sorry.”

 

“Wait!” You blinked as he turned to your hand, outstretched and gripping his forearm. “My scars Sans.”

 

He raised a perplexed eye-bone at this and sat next to you. “scars? what about them?”

 

You froze, mouth opening and closing, not knowing what to say. You weren’t worried of how they looked per say, nor were you that terrified of the memories each one had.

 

_Why were you so afraid again?_

 

Meanwhile, you noticed the lights in Sans’ eyes slowly light up once more and he scooted towards you. He raised a hand as if asking your to lift your top for him.

 

You replied by slowly raising your shirt, noticing the lights in his eyes dim slightly the higher you raised your blouse. You flinched as he crept towards your chest. “it’s alright kid. trust me.”

 

* * *

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

* * *

 

 

Collapsing on top of your chest, he gave you a tired yet pleased grin. “ _shit_ kid,” he chuckled. “you made me _dead_ tired.” You weren’t even remotely irritated as you hugged him close to your heart, and giggled.

 

You and Sans were coming down from your highs so neither of you noticed light peering through an opened door until the one in the entrance whispered in a croaky voice, “...What…?”

 

Sobering up, both of you quickly sat up to look at the person whose shadow was not extending as he stepped into the room as your eyes got used to the light.

 

You felt the words spill out of your mouth before you could register who it was.

 

_“Orange?”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit late but here’s my gift to you guys <3 Happy Holidays~ ;D


	22. Disbelief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN!
> 
> (PS. Thank you again for Costumebleh for helping me with editing this mess of a chapter!)
> 
> ((PPS. WTF 1.3K KUDOS AND 23.5K VIEWS!? HOW ARE YOU GUYS STILL WITH ME!? Thank you so much ｡:ﾟ(;´u`;)ﾟ:｡))

After one more punch, Orange sighed and placed his forehead on the punching bag. Everything’s gone to shit the past two days, and _damn_ was he sick of it.

When Boss threw Red at him, he barely had enough time to teleport to you and shield your body from the explosion. Though apparently, that didn’t stop you from blacking out from the shockwave of the god forsaken bomb.

Squinting through the dust cloud, he noticed all the crusade goons were gone. So, ignoring how the foundation was extremely unstable, he set everyone’s unconscious bodies down to look for the skeleton who took the brunt of the blast.

He found said skeleton buried beneath debris.

Safe to say his non-existent heart stopped at the scene.

When Boss said that the bomb was next to him, he wasn’t lying.

Cursing, he pulled whatever magic he had left in him and forced it into an erratically-beating heart that was growing fainter and fainter every second.

“Don’t you do this to us, edge-lord,” he mumbled, pouring whatever he had left in the bleeding skeleton’s soul. “I’ve yet to kick your ass.”

After a few tense minutes, Orange saw how Boss’ light stopped fading and then let out a shuddering breath. Despite how exhausted he was, he lifted a hand to his earpiece.

“Bro, please please _please_ tell me you’re here.”

The silence was deafening until a familiar revving of a motorcycle could be heard a couple of blocks away.

“Thank the stars…” he grumbled, trying his best to stand. He could not, for the life of him however, stand up without his legs failing him.

By the time he managed to use a pillar as leverage, a giant sidecar attached to a fluorescent blue motorcycle arrived.

“Brother! Are you injured!?” cried Blue— before noticing the barely-breathing skeleton.

He sighed when his younger brother’s stars disappear from his eye sockets and then kneeled to heal Boss. “Red’s going to be so angry…”

By now he was really thankful for Blue’s ability to heal— which may or may not have improved over the years thanks to Orange’s insistence to street fight.

Leaving the tiny skeleton to his musings, he began limping towards the coagulation of unconscious bodies.

He didn’t expect Sans to be awake of all people.

“shit shit shit,” growled the skeleton who was rubbing the back of his neck. “why the hell am I—”

He watched his best friend’s memories flooded back to him.

“paps!” he jumped, looking around. There was a noticeable weight off his shoulders when he saw you and his brother lying on top of Red.

Orange would have chuckled at the scene if he weren’t ready to pass. The fuck. Out.

He barely had any energy to wave when Sans looked towards him in alarm. “shit ‘range. you look…”

“Tired down to my bones?”

The smaller skeleton chuckled as he began to untangle the pile of limbs. He paused for a second before shaking his head. “how’s boss?”

Orange reclined onto a collapsed column and yawned. “Blue’s trying to heal him. It’s bad.”

The tiny monster nodded with a strained smile and sighed when he finally separated everyone’s bodies. “does he need a shortcut home?”

“Yeah. I sorta used up all my energy to do what I can for him,” said the sleepy skeleton before pausing and rubbing his eyes awake. “Though it’s gonna be hard. He’s kind of, uh, fused to the ground.”

_“what!?”_

* * *

 After a string of curses left his friend’s mouth, the three of them worked together to uproot the ground which Boss was embedded in. Afterwards, they all agreed to have Sans teleport the entire baggage to Alphys, who was a friend of Sans’.

Once he teleported away, Orange and his brother carefully placed you, Red, and Papyrus in the sidecar.

_“Is it safe yet?”_

Blue covered the people in the car with his body while Orange grabbed the emergency crowbar in the sidecar and pointed it at the origin of the voice.

“Come out! Hands up or else you’re dead!”

Despite looking around, the two of them couldn’t pinpoint the source of sound.

_“Down here! Please!”_

At the corner of their eye sights was a blue-skinned rabbit— whose leg was apparently stuck under a fallen pillar.

“Who are you?” asked Blue, warily eyeing the monster. With all the betrayal tonight Orange wasn’t all that surprised if the Rabbit was involved in all of this too.

However, the monster just looked distraught, not a hint of recognition when Blue continued to ask about any affiliation with the crusade.

“I’m not a part of this mess! I’m a honest shopkeeper, look!” And so the bunny points to a toppled over wagon, just a few feet away.

“I was just minding my own business when everything went to hell and I got stuck under this!” The bunny then gestured to the rubble pinning down his leg.

“Normally guns’a’blazing would’ve gone and scared any bystanders off.” Orange remarks.

“I didn’t manage to get out of the way, one minute everything was fine and then I’m fearing for my life and there are bombs going off and -” Orange cut off his ramble with a dismissive gesture.

“Who’s your boss?” He asked instead, wanting to get this done and be out of here before anything else went wrong today.

The bunny actually gave a half-assed wince at that and answered; “I got seated with the glamourous robot as my boss.”

Ah, “Oof, better get you outta this then, there’s some retribution on the horizon.”

* * *

 After the brothers watched the poor, soon-to-be fired rabbit limp away, Blue threw his helmet on while the taller skeleton sank in the sidecar. “I think it’s best if they stay at our place, brother.”

Orange nodded, barely able to open his eyes.

“Worry not then! I, the Magnificent Blue will…”

He never heard the end of that sentence. Instead, he found himself lying on a sleeping bag in his gym— light peeking through the windows and right into his eye sockets. With a disoriented groan, he sat up and wiped his face of drool.

When his vision cleared up he noticed that there was yelling in the house, prompting him to stand up quickly.

_Bad idea._

Falling back on his ass, he grumbled and summoned a bone to use as a makeshift cane. With how discombobulated he felt, teleporting was out of the question, so he hurriedly wobbled towards his home.

First thing he saw was his little brother with a gargantuan wolf-headed hammer standing on the second floor.

Second was Red who was wielding a giant broken bone in his hands.

Orange summoned another bone in his other hand and pointed one towards Red _._ “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Still keeping an eye on his brother, the red skeleton snarled and pointed a bone towards the door behind Blue. “It’s all that fuckin’ chick’s fault Boss is…!”

Blue thumped the bottom of his hammer twice on the ground, aggravated at how vindictive Red was acting.

“It doesn’t mean you could hurt Lily!”

“I ain’t gonna _hurt_ her,” grinned the damned freak. **“** Imma just show her a _good_ time.”

“Fuck you and your ‘good time’,” huffed the tall skeleton. “Your reverse bullshit ain’t needed this early in the morning, so put away your damn weapon and _relax_.”“Just get rid of that weapon, everyone’s too tired to deal with you.”

His little brother nodded. “Go be with your brother, Red! He needs you!”

Orange internally winced. It was a low blow, but by the looks of the other skeleton, it drove home the point of Papyrus’s condition.

Red growled then crushed the bone in his hand. “…Fine. But if I _ever_ see that girl again, she’s **d e a d**.”

They released their breaths and weapons as Red teleported away.

 “He didn’t hurt you, right bro?”

“nah i was keeping an eye socket on them.”

The two of them looked towards a shadow in the corner of the room, relaxing a bit when Sans stepped out.

“When’d you get back?” asked Orange. “Has Boss stabilized?”

“came back half past 3am i think. it was pretty risky for most of the night… because of a few teleportation hiccups.” He scratched the back of his neck for a second before placing his hands in his pockets. “other than that, he was okay.”

“How about Paps?”

Blue perked up and struck a pose.

“Due to my amazing abilities, he’s functioning exactly how he should be!” he pointed towards the door to his room. “He’s resting in my room!”

“Wait,” Orange held up a hand before letting out a low breath. “If he’s sleeping in your room…”

He saw the shit-eating, overjoyed look Sans was giving him.

“yep.”

“Sans no.”

“i didn’t say anything.”

The tall skeleton sent a look of disbelief at the now snickering monster.

“What’s wrong with Lily sleeping in your room, brother?”

Orange turned back to Blue, but before he could say anything, Sans shrugged. “well, because the kid’s having a tumble under the sheets.”

“Sans.”

“A tumble? Is she having nightmares?”

_“I will throw you out, Sans Serif!”_

As if the gods were on his side, all three of them heard a “Nyeh” from Papyrus’s side, before a soft snore vibrated the air.

His close friend let out a tired chuckle.

 “well, imma take another nap.” He yawned, giving Orange one more wink before walking towards his younger brother’s room. “wake me up when something happens.”

The blushing brother watched baffled, as the tiny skeleton saluted and teleported through the door— reminding him how low he was in terms of energy. With a last ditch of effort, he threw himself onto the couch before his legs folded upon themselves.

“Brother, see what happens when you don’t exercise!?” frowned Blue, poking the back of the taller skeleton’s skull since he was face-first in the cushions.

“Mhuhuh.”

“So you better get better, fast!”

“Mhnhnh.”

A few moments of silence passed before he felt a weight on his back. Turning his head, Orange saw a tiny, crestfallen skeleton sitting with his head hung.

“I was so scared you’d been hurt. If it weren’t for Lileana you would have been…”

“Bro—”

“I can’t believe I didn’t trust her to choose you!” he turned to the taller skeleton completely crying. “I’m such a bad friend!”

Orange got up, placing Blue on the couch while he kneeled in front of him. “No no, don’t say that. The one at fault is the fucker who caused all this.”

A defeated giggle filled the air as Blue flicked his brother’s forehead. “L-Language brother.”

“Don’t care,” he shrugged. “Say it with me: the one at fault was the **mother fucker** who caused this.”

“Brother!” He wiped his tears with a slanted smile.

“Come on, just say for me.”

“T…The one at fault was the…”

Orange grinned affectionately because his brother never cursed in front of him— at least, not in purpose.

“M-matron **fudger** who caused this!”

The tall skeleton let his head drop and snorted in laughter.

“Close enough bro.”

* * *

 Blue ended up hopping off, energized enough to tell his brother that he was going to clean his room since it was unfit for someone like ‘Lily’ to be sleeping in. You ended up being set down next to Orange on the couch, your head on his pillow-covered lap— to his flustered dismay.

Oranged groaned as he turned on the TV. If you didn’t wake up when Red was here, no way in hell were you getting up any time soon.

He let the sounds of the show go over his head as he watched you toss and turn in your sleep.

“What’s wrong, lady?” he mumbled, leaning over to move a few stray hairs from your forehead.

He felt his chest constrict when you whined and curled deeper into yourself. He scooted closer to you in response so that he could softly pet your head.

“Rest well,” he whispered, stroking your head adoringly.

* * *

 The tall skeleton groaned, face growing more orange by the second as he continued his kicks on the punching bag. He remembered when he couldn’t move, but you most certainly could.

And of _course_ you’d wrap your arms around him. And of _course_ your head would be practically on his pelvis.

Sans would’ve had a field day if he saw him in such a precarious position.

Once you stopped moving, he let out a sigh and flipped open his phone. He’d sooner die than let anyone know, but he kept the picture of you smiling during the one outing with the other skeletons.

Looking at the picture then looking down, a content feeling grew in his heart as he caressed your head tenderly. He missed your smiles and the sound of your laughter.

“BROTHER!”

Orange flinched, cursing as he kneed your unconscious body away, apologizing for the red mark on the side of your head.

From then, his brother told him how one of their main buildings were bombed, culprit unknown. The whole time he was explaining, Orange had to hold Blue in his, as the little skeleton was shaking and in tears. They ended up spending the rest of the day telling the press that everything was okay.

As if the universe was picking on him, they also found out that because the Crimson brothers were out of commission, their underlings were going haywire.

That means the protection they were supposed to offer the Canary brothers turned into threats and muggery. The brothers couldn’t even contact the Shadow Broker, as they were apparently being thrown to voicemail!

Thank the lord Sans being there to keep an eye on Blue while Orange passed out on the same bed as Papyrus.

With one more kick to the top of the bag, Orange breathed out and fell backwards on the mat.

Every time they went out to calm the public, Orange had to release a vindictive aura just so that they can have some breathing room.

Groaning, he got up and grabbed a towel and his phone. It was 1 in the morning and, despite everything, he couldn’t sleep.

Maybe he should follow your footsteps and take a roll around on the couch.

He stopped drying himself and sighed in the towel, remembering how tied up you were around him. He couldn’t even look at your picture on his phone without exploding in a citrusy blush!

Maybe he could ask you out when this was over?

Just the two of you, alone, chilling at a park and sharing a picnic. Laughing, sharing jokes, and maybe even going as far as to…

_“GAH!”_

Orange threw the towel on the ground in sinful exasperation. “Quit thinking of her like that!”

But he couldn’t stop. If he remembered correctly, you weren’t adverse to sleeping with him— if the gym escapade with you told him anything.

He let out a shaky breath, feebly trying to cool down as he packed away his stuff.

You were going to be the death of him.

* * *

 Teleporting to the quiet house, he blinked when he saw that you were no longer on the sofa. He smiled excitedly, were you finally awake? Were you hungry?

“Of course she’d be hungry,” he huffed to himself, walking towards the kitchen. “She’s been asleep for almost two days, idiot.”

Opening the fridge, he saw that the only thing in there was shells, tacos, and taco-related ingredients.

Well there’s that, guess he’s going to cook for once.

Grabbing ingredients for lasagna, Orange struggled with remembering how to make one of his favorite meals, as Blue never allowed him in the kitchen.

Okay, sure, maybe he once filled the entire area with honey bottles and other honey-associated goodies, but to his defense, he was just _really_ hungry.

After a couple of minutes floundering around, he finally proportioned you a piece on one plate, and him on another. Was it too cheesy to put a heart on them?

_Nah._

It was then he heard a noise from the second floor— there was something or someone in his room. Were you up there?

Curiously, he tiptoed past Papyrus’ room with the two plates and creaked open the door…

To see you and Sans in euphoric bliss on top of his covers.

“... What…?”

_“Orange?”_

His breath hitched when his eyes fell from your face down to your uncovered chest which you were feebly trying to hide. While you flailed, his eyes traced your embarrassed figure, soon meeting line of sight of a skeleton who looked back at him, as in challenge. However, Sans did look slightly ashamed with the situation Orange had managed to catch him in.

“Uh…” Orange let his hard work slip from his fingers, barely registering the sound of two plates smashing on the ground. “Sorry… I’ll just…”

He teleported outside to his car, scantily hearing a strained: _“‘range, wait!”_

* * *

 Time having passed since his rapid exit, Orange rolled down the window to his car— letting the fact that he smoked an entire pack under an hour out in public, and not deterring him from fishing out another smoke and lighting it between his teeth.

_You were so beautiful._

Moonlight had been peering through the window of his room, enveloping your character with an ethereal glow— though that could also have been caused by the iridescent shimmer of blue all over you.

When the familiar feeling of his soul being crushed ached in his chest, he parked off to the side under a flickering streetlight. With a dejected sigh, he placed his head on the wheel.

Wasn’t Sans the one who was pushing the two of you together?

_“You’re just like Sans!”_

Orange blinked, remembering the day he brought you to their house. Due to your dejected and disheartened demeanor, he began spouting out ridiculous one-liners that ended up bringing a smile to your face.

The _fuck_ …

Did Sans seriously flirt with you behind his back? Did he do it just to spite him?

The tall skeleton almost slammed the car horn when he recalled Sans pointing to a sign that looked like you when the three of you were at Muffet’s Emporium. He and Sans chuckled at your flustered reaction, laughing when you stomped away in embarrassment.

As everyone traversed the streets filled with flashing lights and colors, the skeletons made sure you walked in front of them.

Orange thought that Sans was just being vigilant due to how strongly he was looking at you.

Oh he was most _definitely_ looking.

_Why…_

Maybe it was all one big, misunderstanding, just like the thing with Boss. They’ve been friends for _years_!

He vaguely felt himself crushing his umpteenth cigarette in his hand.

It’d be a misunderstanding… If you weren’t covered in…

_Why you, Sans?_

Orange slammed his fist on the steering wheel, tears falling heavily like the rain on his windshield. Frustration and betrayal bubbling in his chest.

**_WHY  YOU!?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor guy can’t ever catch a break. #ThrowOrangeABone
> 
> OKAY! So I kinda said that I dropped the bombshell on Tumblr— and maybe, kinda, sorta spoiled the entire timeline for my story. But then 1 year later I decided to dip my pinky toe in the fandom again, albeit under a different name.
> 
> Spoiler alert: I slipped and fell in head first.
> 
> Oh. The story direction may or may not have changed ;3c

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hello and get some previews at [arceal-doodles.tumblr.com](http://arceal-doodles.tumblr.com/)  
> Comments, Kudos, and Critiques are loved <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Not in Charge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6792478) by [AmbroseRivers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbroseRivers/pseuds/AmbroseRivers)




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